"The walls we build around us to keep sadness out also keep out the joy." -- Jim Rohn
Pain. Suffering. Emotional upheaval. Rejection. Hatred. Bitterness.
Probably the only human beings who haven't experienced these things are the youngest among us. We have all felt the pain of our flaws and the flaws of others. It's a fact of life.
I mentioned walls in an earlier post. Walls are created by us to guard our hearts from pain or evil... in fact, to guard from anything that might hurt us. For some, walls work so well that they become a way of life. They keep us sane and comfortable... happy... content.
But there is a danger. With those unhealthy walls protecting me, I find that I lie to those around me. To God. Lol... I lie to myself! Which is stupid, but sadly true. If we put up enough walls, we do not experience love. Love makes us drop our walls and speak the truth of our hearts. Love leaves us vulnerable and bare. It puts us in danger. Love makes us fearful and angry because we feel so foolish at times. Love is giving away all of the supports, even when our world feels like it's crashing down. Love leaves no room for selfishness. Love is standing strong and firm when everyone else is running away. Love cleanses our hearts and leaves them whole.
“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at it's destination full of hope.” -- Maya Angelou
I have walls. In fact, I'm actually fairly barricaded right now. Lol. I had a fortress set up around my heart that was impenetrable. But something happened to me the other day. I made a difficult decision that I have felt alternately horrified and thankful for. Some of my walls came down. Yeah, it hurt. Yeah, I'm still shaking. (What have I done?! :-)) But I cannot stop feeling so very glad about it.
I have finally been honest with myself. I have finally thrown the towel in and myself on God. I have realized that there are no limits to Him, love, strength, me (the new creature!).. no limits to joy even when the happiness feels a bit stretched. ;-)
I read in the Bible last night about the miracle Jesus performed with the fish and bread. Think of the analogy: we can be an overflowing vessel. Compassion and love need never run out. There can be plenty of compassion and understanding (love!) in us for the neighbor, that friend who is so needy, an irritating younger sibling, cleaning the bathroom, speaking with thoughtfulness and wisdom when I'd just love to blow it off and leave...
Even these few downed walls, now laying in pieces at my feet, have shocked me. I feel a sense of peace and happiness; a faith that I had long forgotten. I have been praying for faith and God has been gently steering me down paths I never would have had the courage or strength to walk without His guidance and help.
This post is not complete but it is a part of what I know to be truth. Perhaps later I will understand better. The more I learn about God the more I realize how much I don't know. But I hope that you will take courage and have a look at your own heart. It's surprising sometimes. :-) If you have thoughts to add to this, please feel free to share!
But be thou in the fear of the LORD, all the day long. For surely there is an end; and thine expectation shall not be cut off. -- Proverbs 23
Be joyful in hope.
You have thrown and landed some vicious blows but you didn't know something that God did. When you tried to crush me, I found strength. When you left me for dead, Something breathed life into me. When you pumped me full of bitterness, somehow Love crept in through the cracks. There was Truth... I could pull the plug on hate. 
Sometimes it's so hard to look past when we're not feeling well or are in an impossible situation. The light is there, though. It might be faint or impossible to see but it's there. Let it strengthen you for better things.
