November 5th

We are all a little weird and

Life's a little weird,

And when we find someone whose

Weirdness is compatible with ours,

We join up with them and fall in

Mutual weirdness and call it Love.

-- Dr. Seuss

Two years ago today, Jesse told me he loved me. He also asked if we could date. I said yes. 

I thank God for bringing us together... for giving us courage to step into the unknown.

life is long enough

We have been touched by death.

It is inevitable; it comes to us all, we can't avoid it.

But we have been given life. We should live it.

Tonight I ate clam chowder, cheese bread and apple cheesecake chimichangas. That's a lot of carbs, so tomorrow, I diet. The day after, I diet. The day after that, I diet. ....

But today, I celebrate my husband's 28th birthday and I shared his birthday meal.

Life is too short to do otherwise.

May the hatred turn to love
   the bitter dissolve into forgiveness
     dreams become reality
        and joy forever carry on

Happy Birthday, my love.

16 ounces of happiness

"Oh dear, how undignified!"

= 1 lb of joy

1: Sleeping in an hour this morning with my beloved. (Oh happy mistake!)
2: Eating leftover peach cobbler. (The dumplings were soggy... :happy sigh:)
3: Making pastry for apple, lemon meringue and banana cream pies. (Lydia is making and eating the last mentioned because Jesse and I :dances of joy: are adults and don't eat bananas.)
4: Cleaning up our room. (It really needs it.)
5: Sitting at the table, talking with my sister Lydia. (We've nearly covered every topic under the sun.)
6: Anticipating Cilla's visit on Thursday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
7: Getting a $65 cheque from Homespun in the mail. (We never win anything and this Homespun found us winning twice: once in Jesse's name and once in mine.)
8: Helping someone print nearly a thousand wedding pictures this morning at Pharmasave. (Yes, I LOVE looking at wedding pictures.)
9: Getting ready for students and teaching and all things music. (Beginning of October, here we come.)
10: Listening to Liszt on the radio and daydreaming about someday...

11: Having running water and electricity in our house. (Makes my day every day.)
12: Kissing my husband goodbye (sad) and knowing we'll see each other again in 9 hours (happy).
13: Having a boss and coworkers who understand. (They are amazing... each and every one of them.)
14: Opening my kitchen cupboards and seeing the dishes my Grandma gave me for my hopechest. (I love you, Grandma.)
15: Buying ingredients for Lasagna. Enough said.
16: Thinking about one's life and realizing how wonderful it is. (Jesse, I love you.)

Things I Love About Being Married

They warn dourly that life doesn't end when you get married. Marriage isn't the end all, be all, they mutter. Just wait and see after a few months and years of marriage, then you'll understand. Wait until the first argument. Wait until you're tired of being married....

We love cynical peoples. Let's face it, we've got at least one in each of our share of relatives. And you know what makes them so hard to disprove? Every word they say has a little bit of truth to it. So, let me rephrase this:

Thank God life didn't end when we got married: I am enjoying myself too much. Thank God marriage isn't the end all, be all: I would shrivel up and die if I stopped being a growing, unique individual. Thank God that after a year of marriage, I can clearly see and rejoice that I did marry the man God prepared me for. Thank God that I realize marriage is not easy: who would have thought any part of life is all ease and grace? And about those arguments... well, read on.

Someone asked the other day, "What Do you Love Best About Being Married." There were many good answers and I decided it would make a good blog post. :-) This isn't me bragging about my wonderful life: I have problems too. But most of the days in my life, I can choose to look at the positive aspects of my existence. For us, this union has been mind blowing and we have never been happier. My goal for this blog post is to send a positive message about marriage into cyberspace.

For those currently unattached: It is possible to find an imperfect person who is perfect for you because you are an imperfect person who will be perfect for someone.Wait. Pray that you will know when the time comes. Until then, be whole as you are.  Be perfect for you, today. Love who you are. Revel in the good you can be in the world. Fling joy into the universe with the discovery of the possibilities of you.

For those Married, happily or not: As you know, there is no 1-2-3 step plan for happiness. Can you be happy? Yes. If you are happy, can you tell me why? If you're not happy, can you tell me why? What is the greatest lesson you have learned through marriage. Are you cynical? Or do you believe in true love? Why?

Things I Love About Being Married

Companionship: never feeling alone. Before I met Jesse, there never seemed to be anyone who "got" me. I have a strange sense of humor, interests and passions, needs and desires. When I met Jesse, I was astonished to find that someone actually laughed at my jokes. I didn't feel awkward around him. He understands. He accepts me and furthermore, he's my best friend.

Being Loved. When I lose my temper, cry, laugh, scold, praise, talk, fail, succeed or any other thing, I can do so without the fear of being judged. Before we met, I was not sure I wanted to enter a relationship. I had seen so many failed or unhappy marriages. I had seen so many people use, hurt or manipulate their spouse. My fear was that I would marry someone and be stuck forever in an unhappy relationship. I have never been loved unconditionally by a human. I knew God loved me unconditionally, but I didn't understand it until I felt Jesse's love. There are moments when I feel my heart burst in joy because this love is boundless, incomprehensible, faithful and everlasting.

I can be myself. This fits with the above category, but I wanted to explain more specifically: I never felt the freedom to be myself completely. It didn't matter that I had friends who appreciated me. The fact of the matter is: I wasn't comfortable in my own skin. Jesse is un-apologetically himself. When we were first friends, I remember a moment when I realized with certainty that it was ok to enjoy movies, books and stories as much as I do. In fact, it was perfectly fine to have a passion for things that I have a passion for. It was more than ok: I needed to embrace these things in myself because I am unique. Unique is the way God created me. Each day, I revel in this. It was a long time in coming.

Learning Every Day. It's ok to be wrong. It's fine to change your mind. It's a good thing to challenge your opinions and beliefs. We learn about each other; we learn about others; we learn about Eternity; we learn about Truth. We learn about sharing the bed, the shower, the kitchen... we learn about giving each other space, we learn about it being ok to go to the other person if we have an issue or simply need a shoulder to cry on. We learn to communicate and share freely. Even as well as we know each other, each day brings a new delight, a new joy. Oh yes, I married an imperfect man who lives his life gently, kindly, respectfully, lovingly. Each day brings new realizations of this. Learning and growth do not happen all at once; if it did, our human minds would expire. So, God allows us to learn as we live: one day at a time.

Understanding God. When I met Jesse, I caught a glimpse of God's love. The longer I know him, the more godliness I see in him. He loves me as the Bible says Christ loves the Church. Through this, I see Christ's love so clearly now. Jesse loves me unconditionally, freely, passionately. His heart is always towards me, even (especially?) when I do not "deserve it". There will be times when I am apologizing for some wrong I did him and he will simply hug me and whisper, "You make me so happy," while brushing away my regrets. He sees no reason for me to apologize or feel guilt. This love enables me to step out of my faults and seek truer paths. I have never felt a better understanding of my God, Eternity and Truth.
If only more husbands would love their wives as Christ loves his Bride. If only religion and self interest would not raise their ugly heads. If only people would step away from themselves and seek only better things for others...

When We Are Sick.  There were days when I used to get a cold and I banished myself to a room with a roll of toilet paper, a glass of water and a book... and closed the door. Now, there is Jesse with water, broth, food, hugs and kisses and holding my hand. I almost like being sick. Lol. The same goes for when he's the one under the weather. I hover over him, feed him, make sure he's warm...  It makes those "in sickness and in health" vows really come to life.

Cuddling. Yes, I have discovered that when it comes to us, cuddling is the greatest thing on earth. I never liked cuddling except if it involved a sibling and even then, I preferred having my space. But Jesse seems to have broken most of the rules in my rule book. :-) Now, I cuddle, share a glass, play footsie, flirt outrageously and only God knows what else...

Forgiveness. This could fall into almost any of the other categories, but forgiveness deserves one to itself. As individuals, both of us had to learn about forgiving others. People in both of our lives have hurt us in the past. By the time we had met, we were at a point where each of us realized the need to accept and love others. Yes, regardless of the pains and frustrations they cause us. :-) This love requires forgiveness. Jesse and I are far from perfection. We both have our moments. But even in these, we are able to stop and look at each other. Forgiveness is a proactive. I am thankful the many hard lessons learned before our paths converged. This was no accident.

Deciding What to Make for Supper. Yes, 'tis a difficult decision; not one to be taken lightly. We could have leftovers or I could make something new. We could have soup, burritos, roasted chicken, hamburgers, clam chowder, salmon, pizza... the list goes on. Should we have something sweet to drink or is water just fine? And what about salad and dessert? The amount of responsibility is rather amazing when it comes to meals. But oh-so-fun... How great is it to be able to look in my cupboards and decide what to make? So many endless possibilities! Jesse loves a good cake, so some days I will surprise him by having a cake on the table when he gets home from work.
Here's another thing that amazes me: Jesse loves working in the kitchen. So if I end up working Saturday and he is at home, he'll make food. Good food. His honey mustard salmon recipe is amazing. Oh dear... I'm drooling.

Watching T.V. Together. Nearly every night, we watch shows or movies. The creation of stories is a passion we share. Before we met, we pursued it on our own and now that we are together, the paths converge and we are enjoying ourselves a great deal. :-) A story that is well written can be about anything and we will find enjoyment in it. I was more a fantasy girl but Jesse has introduced me to science fiction... and we both love detective/crime shows. The list of shows and movies we watch is ever growing and ridiculous. Lol. Some of our favorites are: Grimm, Person of Interest, Big Bang Theory, Red, Touch, Once Upon A Time, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, Pirates of the Caribbean, Tintin, Sherlock, The New Normal, Star Trek, West Wing... I could be here all day.

Arguing. Finally, we get to it. No, it doesn't happen very often. The first time we had a disagreement, I felt horrible about it. I apologized for days. However, over the course of the past months, we have come to the realization that arguments and differences in opinion are actually good things. They keep our relationship interesting. We still don't like to argue but we are now able to step back and look at the argument and each other from a different perspective. Have you ever met a couple who didn't argue? I have. It usually means that one person in the relationship is very dominate. The dominate person will tell the other person what to do, what to think, what to wear, etc. Usually, it's much easier for the non-dominate person to not think as thinking can be painful. Healthy relationships are based on equality. Both parties must use their ability to think and make decisions. When Jesse and I disagree because we are both strong people with opinions. But what makes these arguments so good is that we're willing to let someone or something prove our opinions wrong. May we never get set in our ways! is our motto. Truth does not allow for minds that won't be changed.

Submission. I hated this word. In fact, there are moments when I still loathe it. People defile it, making it into something ugly and sinful. They demand it, manipulate it, revel in it. I was very leery of relationship for this reason. What I did not realize was how beautiful submission can be. Yes, it does mean giving up one's will. Yet, when submitting to someone you respect and cherish, submission also means retaining your will. I submit to Jesse because I want to. Jesse submits to me because he wants to. We are equals. We do not demand it of each other; we submit freely. We have learned that submission from both is necessary for any healthy relationship. Just as Christ submitted himself to us so that we might have a relationship with him, so must we submit ourselves to him. True, biblical submission involves purity of heart and soul.

Being Involved in Theatre Together. Taking Walks Together. Holding Hands. Laughing Together. Talking to People Together. Encouraging Each Other. Hating Raisins Together.

Thanking God for Each Other.

This turned into a longer post than I had intended. :-) I am just purely grateful for Jesse and how healing he has been for me. I have grown and changed so much because of him. His heart is mine and mine is his. Our life together has been beyond my wildest dreams. I love who he is. I love who I am.

Take heart. Joy cometh in the morning.

Long Due

Life is not an exact science, it is an art. -- Samuel Butler

The past few weeks have been crazy. And when I get some downtime at night, I'm either spending quality time with Jesse, Lydia and Snow... or I'm falling asleep. I haven't even had the energy to post pictures. Lol. But I have some time today and I intend to use it for a number of things, catching up being one of them.

Lydia. She's moved down from Endeavour and is living at our house. She is working at the Pharmasave with me and (if all goes as planned) she's going to be teaching guitar lessons in the fall. It's been great having her around. (I'm not just saying that because she reads my blog. Lol.) Among her many attributes, she is pleasant, kind, smart, funny and a very hard worker. She cleans my bathroom. I like her. ;-) Since moving here, she has cut and donated her hair for cancer and bought an i-phone. Also, we have played and sung together at Will Elliot's 50th birthday party. I had forgotten how much fun it is to practice together. Our voices are very similar so when we do manage a harmony (we're just learning how those work) it's a little astounding. I hadn't realized how much I miss my siblings until she moved in. Now, it's better.

Hannah. And Daniel. :-) Bless their hearts. They're married and pretty happy about it too! What a beautiful wedding. Hannah's day was perfection. As you may know, it's been pretty wet this year. When Hannah said she wanted an outdoor wedding, none of us were sure if that was going to work out. Especially when it rained... and rained... and rained some more... right up until a couple days before the wedding. But the day of the wedding, so many prayers were answered!

It was gorgeous!

Hannah made her dress.

She ordered the flowers online and had them shipped to my folks' place. (Sun flowers, blue delphiniums and white roses.) 

Lindsey made the wedding cake. (I got to watch most of the process... such fun! Lindsey is really talented.) 

The end result was amazing. Lindsey spent a lot of time on that cake.

Lydia, Ellie and myself played the music for the ceremony. 

(Due to everything being really, really hectic, we didn't get to practice much at all, but we still sounded fine. I can't imagine how much better it would have been if we were a little more organized. Lol! The more I'm in the music world, the prouder I get of my siblings and their musical abilities.) 

Jesse and I got to meet Daniel's family finally. They are so great. Hannah is going to fit right in. :-) Oh. Fun fact! Hannah was a barefoot bride. Love! 

Our British Columbia, Washington, California, etc., etc. trip. It looms upon us with a raging speed. Hehe. I am astonishingly excited. I am looking forward to hours of Jesse and me time. I am looking forward to seeing my aunts and uncles and my grandparents and great aunts and great uncles and cousins. I am looking forward to staying in hotels and going to Disneyland and doing a little shopping, etc. I am looking forward to experiencing a beautiful coastline drive and San Francisco!!! I will do my best to take pictures and post them as we go.

Lindsey tried to visit us this past weekend but things came up in her life and she wasn't able to make it happen. Sadness. But we did have a wonderful visit during the wedding festivities and we will get together again. Someday, it will happen. The good part about this was that we got the house cleaned up. ;-) The state of the upstairs is such that we could (should!) get medals for tidiness and ingenuity. Lindsey, we miss you!!!

And besides all of this prittle-prattle, what have we been doing most? Working and living. Mostly working. Haha. :-P But Pharmasave always outdoes itself when it comes to being a great job. I love my bosses. I love the managers. I love having new runners so my feet don't hurt so badly at the end of the day. And I love having my sister working with me; having breaks and lunch with me; driving to and from work together. It is hard work in ways but it is a very rewarding job and I love waking up in the morning looking forward to a full 9 hour day at work.

What would be left of our tragedies if an insect were to present us his?

 -- Emile M. Cioran

Spiritually and emotionally? Lately, stress has been the biggest thing on my plate. Between dealing with some old memories and people I would rather not deal with, the wedding days were hard on me. But God got me through it and I was fine. I love Lydia living in our house, it's amazing having her around; but it's a change and change is stressful. God is getting me through this too. Beginning to work full time had me freaking out that I wouldn't be strong enough to pull my share of the load and that I would get involved in all the drama. I hate stabbing people in the back. It is almost worse than lying. Both make me feel unclean and my conscience kills me. Haha. But God has given me strength where there is weakness, on all counts. Have I forgotten to lean on Him at times? Oh yes. But He has never left my side. Not once.

Jesse has been there for me as well. The longer I am married to this man, the more I respect him. For instance, on our trip for Hannah's wedding, we forgot the video camera. It was a fault on both our part, but instead of getting extremely upset about it, he kinda blamed himself and got over it. We contacted my mother-in-law and had her meet us half way the next day with it (and our pillows). Point of the tale? He didn't blame me. He didn't even blame himself for long. He didn't yell about it or even get very frustrated. He was calm, understanding and at peace. What a guy. Oh and the other day, we got to his comic shop five minutes after it closed. He was so disappointed. We had missed it our last time through the city as well. But he didn't blame anyone and he cheered up shortly after. He just rolls with the punches and is at peace with God and man. I can't believe I married someone who is so beautiful. Jesse, I love you.

We've been watching a show called West Wing. As you may be able to tell from the title, it's about the happenings of the West Wing in the White House. Martin Sheen plays the president and he is marvelous. :-) But I mostly appreciate the portrayal of the government. They may not make all the decisions that we want them to make but they are not demons. They are people who have to choose which impossibility is the best probability for success. They're wrong sometimes but they are also right. For this job, they receive hatred from the people, because there is always someone who disagrees with you. The more important the decision, the more widely spread the differences of opinions. With greatness comes great responsibility... and suffering.

This show was taking place through 9/11 so they made a special episode in response. I thought it was well balanced. In fact, many of the views expressed were ones I could apply to my background, people I know, situations I get involved in, etc. But the best line was this one:  "You want to get these people? I mean, you really want to reach in and kill them where they live? Keep accepting more than one idea. It makes them absolutely crazy." -- Joshua Lyman (West Wing: Isaac and Ishmael) 


Do you know what makes extremists? They stop seeking. They stop searching. They get stuck on a couple of ideas and that's it for them: they don't move on. Extremists never reach their full potential. God created us to always learn and change. He loves a tender, meek heart. It has taken me years of tears and physical suffering to understand this. I used to be an extremist. If it hadn't been for God's grace and love, I have no idea where I would be today.

 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:
For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. (Matthew 7)


Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts. (James 4)

God bless you today!

Jesse

Love is the silent saying and saying of a single name.  Mignon McLaughlin

Discovery

Funny how you can know a person so well and find out something about them you didn't know.

Setting: Jesse and Naomi in grocery store carrying basket half filled with groceries. Jesse reads things off of list in hand while Naomi grabs them off shelves.

"Cream of wheat..." Jesse reads.
"It's my favorite hot cereal," Naomi replies.
"Yeah, it's my favorite too," Jesse says.
"No way!"

As it turns out, we prefer it above oatmeal, cracked wheat, corn meal mush or just about any other hot cereal. Life is good. :-)

Eternal Labyrinth of Randomness

It has been a very busy couple of weeks for me. If you couldn't tell. :-) I'm actually typing this during my lunch break, inbetween bites of sandwich. It's a ham sandwich. Surprise, surprise. But it's actually on whole wheat bread, so it's not completely unhealthy. Besides, I like ham! ;-)

This morning, I got up, ate homemade ice-cream for breakfast (Yum!), came to work and spent the morning discovering and doing. Firstly, photo lab. I learned how to make a copy of pictures on a cd. I have burned cds before but not with this exact program. I was glad that Heather is still here to teach me... She's going to be leaving for maternity leave in three days since she's due in September. The rest of the morning was spent on the till and working on end bunks.

I can barely remember what all has happened since I last wrote. Lol. It seems like so much has happened. This past Sunday, my family came down for a visit and saw our house for the first time. It was good to see them again. Especially the kids. :-) Jesse discovered how awesome they are. He also discovered that wherever Sara is, there he should be also. She unloaded some of his books from the bookshelf several times. Hehe.

My folks brought all of my things down. Well. Most of my things. My sister Ellie kept all of my Agatha Christie books. I adore Agatha Christie. Unfortunately that adoration seems to run in the family. I have around 20 of her paperbacks and I would really like to see them on my shelf. Eventually. I can't fight Ellie for them until she's all healed up. Anyways. :-P All of my things are officially in our house... my dresser, desk, book shelf, hopechest, quilts, books, dishes, keepsakes, etc. Things that girls usually keep even though they have moved half a dozen times in the last five years. :-) [Sidenote: I just realized that five years ago, I was 20. I'm getting old!] I unpacked some of my dishes... finally using my Grandma's present to me on my 18^th birthday. They're so beautiful. Corelle really outdid themselves in designs that year. [Sidenote: which happened to be 7 years ago. Oh my.]

Whenever we moved long distances, I would calculate how many books I had and give away half my clothing so I could take them. I love my books. I am so excited that they're in our house. :-D :-D One of these days, Jesse says he will build more bookshelves so we can fill them with all of our volumes. I have a lot of classics and old books. And I have a lot of my favorites. Lord of the Rings, Alicia, Alone...

Back to Ellie: she's doing well though some days she is in pain. Your continued prayers for her are appreciated. It would be so wonderful if she had a full recovery and regained the use of her arm/shoulder. No more being afraid it's going to come out... She is still being crazy girl, though. That means that she is out doing fencing with Lydia and chasing calves. :-P Yes, there is a bit of begrudging respect in my voice. Lol.

Wedding plans are coming along. Jesse's sister and I hit upon a Dollar Store in Regina a weekend or two ago and found some really nice glass jars, etc. So, we bought a large amount of them for decorations and candy. I need a couple more big jars for the candy table and I think we'll be good there. What I'm mainly looking for now are old crocheted table cloths and wooden boxes. I am really excited about the antique looks we're going to have. This is going to be so much fun. :-)

Jesse and I have always done a lot of talking. I remember when he began coming around to Michele's to talk to me. I knew that he was interested in me but I didn't think there was a chance that he would agree with me or even have similar thoughts regarding a lot of matters spiritually. So, I would purposely bring up things that I believed and didn't think anyone else did. The interesting thing was that each matter I brought up, he had not only already thought out the issue but had arrived at the same conclusion as I had. It was both a blessing and a curse at the time (lol!) but over the months it has steadily evolved into a blessing only. I can bring up any subject I'm struggling with or am thinking about and he will give his opinion, encourage me to think about it and back off. I have never met anyone like him in my entire life.

The other day, I was really having issues with judging others. I still hold some hard things close to my heart and it is so difficult to let go. But as we were talking about this, my beloved said, “Negativity breeds negativity.” He went on to encourage me to act in love. Even if I could not reconcile myself to certain things (at this point, I have decided that when I am ready and God wants me to, I will be able to let go) then at least I can act in love towards these individuals.

His answer was so simple and so filled with wisdom that I haven't been able to forget what he said. I am really happy that I'm marrying this guy. :-)

So, my life is filled right now with work, house renovations, reorganizing our house, making pudding this evening, loving God and my man, learning about the joys and trials of co-workers, trying to write a blog post, eating skittles, ordering wedding invitations, getting a marriage commissioner lined up and generally enjoying life as much as I can (which is a lot). :-)

Forgive the random bold-ened words. I was feeling randomly bold today. :-)

Of Weddings, Details and Stuff That Tends to Gag Guys

When I was younger, and there was no marriage in present sight, I used to spend hours planning all of the details for my wedding. I would think about it when I was weeding the garden. Washing the dishes. Folding laundry. Changing the baby's dirty diaper! Milking the cows.

Even though I knew from the first that marriage was down the road at some point, when I got involved with Jesse, I didn't even really think about the wedding. All I could concentrate on was my man and our relationship. But suddenly, one fine day, it hit me: we were going to have a wedding. That involved what? The more I thought about it, the more I felt overwhelmed with the prospect. So many details to think about! After I was sick, I hardly wanted a wedding at all. In fact, Jesse (among others) could quote me saying, "Let's just elope." Lol!

Thank God for good friends. Lindsey arrived on Thursday afternoon and the fun began immediately. First off, we made pasta and cream sauce for supper and Jesse came over to share it with us. We filled ourselves to contentment while watching "The Young Victoria" (which was mentioned previously in the post below) and an episode of "Due South" (which was not mentioned previously in the post below....), then had good conversation. These days, it seems that good conversation always turns to wedding plans. Lol! In this case, we decided that the fabric from the old wedding dress I wanted to use for my wedding dress was not conducive to the pattern I wanted. The pattern was not an option, so the dress went. I was sad but I had been coming to the realization slowly over the past few weeks (part of the reason I wanted to elope... haha!) (yes, I really, really wanted to use that dress...)...

Friday, we went into Regina and shopped until we dropped. Or almost. My favorite parts of the day happened after Michaels. I know, I know. Heresy. Especially from someone like me who usually can't be dragged out of the store for hours. The problem was that so many things were undecided and I didn't know what I needed or didn't need. Thankfully, Lindsey helped make a few decisions. Among my favorite purchases there were some small glassware which included a heart shaped and triangular shaped containers with corks. They weren't terribly expensive and we are planning on using them for... well, that will have to wait until I explain the after Michaels remark. ;-)

After Michaels.... :-) we went to The Bulk Barn. I had never even heard of one and I didn't even know what they carried. Lindsey and her mom and sister had shopped at one in Alberta, so she knew. We walked into the store and it was like heaven. I was feeling rather depressed when I first walked in. When we walked out, I was on top of the world. Hehe! Bins and bins and bins every bulk item you can think of. What we were interested in was the candy. Why would I, who isn't a typical candy person (hey! chocolate is *not* candy!) (well, some chocolate could be classified as candy but it should be banned from North America) like that detail? Because while searching through the internet for wedding ideas, I came across this lovely idea for the reception and fell in love with it:

There will be chocolate on my table as well as all of these wonderful colors and delightful vintageness. My husband-to-be loves the idea. I love the idea. I think there is a very good chance of it happening. ;-)

And now I can tell you what the small containers from Michaels will be used for: decorations on the tables. They will be filled with jelly beans. Believe me, they're absolutely adorable. :-)

Anyways, we walked out of the Bulk Barn with lots of candy. We only took a little of each. A little of 20+ varieties adds up. Haha! But I loved it. I mean, finally! I was able to get out of the cautious mode and throw myself into planning. Walmart was next. That was 2nd in line of things that happened beautifully. Candles. I left Walmart with some really nice candles. They're vanilla and cream colored and they smell really, really good. They also look like what I want them to.

Saturday, we traveled back into Regina and went to Fabricland. We had intended going the day before but they close earlier than we anticipated. Lindsey said they would feel her wrath someday. ;-) Actually, the next day after three+ hours of shopping, we both agreed as we were leaving the store that it was perhaps a good thing we had not been able to shop there the day before. It was pretty intense. And yet, I had not had that much fun in years. How can I explain the beauty of the greens we found? Yes, we got a lot of greens. It's my favorite color. :-) Lindsey's dress fabric is a lovely, lovely dark sage green. We found the fabric as soon as we walked through the door. It just leaped out at both of us and not only did I fall in love with it, so did Lindsey. Which is important because she has to wear it and I want her to feel beautiful and comfortable in it. :-) I mean, this fabric is my all time favorite shades of green. It's absolutely gorgeous. And Lindsey will look stunning in it. :-)

We also bought fabric for all of my sisters to have dresses... for the four oldest, a different shade of sage for skirts (cream blouses to be purchased for tops) (we also found a really nice pattern for the skirts... they're classy, yet cute... modern, yet vintage). For Cilla, Ruth and Sara, we couldn't find anything in the silks, satins and etc, etc, that leaped out at us. So, we went over into the cottons and found this really pretty print that is so pretty and cute. They will be little princesses. :-) My mom's outfit is still to be decided as well as my mil and sil, but we have time. :-)

I remember the exact moments the fabrics and patterns decided they were attending my wedding. Most became clarified when I saw them for the first time. But the fabric for my dress was a little different. I liked the shade of the satin when I saw it. But I have a hard time with satins. Usually, they're too heavy and stiff. I had never seen or felt a satin I really liked until I found that old wedding dress and fell in love with it. Then, I touched this really beautiful Cuddle Satin. That's what it's called! As soon as I felt it, I knew. It was so soft... not too shiny... it fell just right... in fact, it was perfect. It was what I had been looking for since I had first begun planning my wedding (about 20 years ago ;-)). And because I had no faith, I decided that there was not going to be a lace overlay there that would fit that perfect, perfect satin. Hehe. As it turns out, there was. It's just right. It's unique. It's beautiful. It's also perfect.

It was definitely a good day for fabric shopping. :-) Every little aspect I was concerned about with the sewing, the cost, the time has all been taken care of. Many thanks to good friends and a loving God who works in mysterious ways!

I hope this post hasn't been boring. This is all very fascinating to me and Jesse assures me that girls like talking about weddings, period. To the guys who are trying to get through this, my apologies. For I am now going to talk about chocolate.

After eating my supper tonight, I had Green and Black Caramel chocolate bar. I usually only eat a little at a time of those because they're so sweet and the chocolate sooo rich. But this evening, before I knew it, I had finished the entire bar! Lol! I was feeling quite pleased with myself beforehand, too. :-P Now I have a smashing headache... I never eat that much chocolate at once. Boy, did it ever taste good. Felt good too. Still feels good. Just headache. Caffeine and I are not the best of friends. Ahem.

Other points of interest from my weeks of silence:

 I am quite recovered from my illness though I am still taking vitamins and supplements. I feel so good. Every time someone asks me how I'm doing, I always feel like shouting, "WONDERFUL!!!" Hehe...

I am greatly enjoying my work at PharmaSave. Today, I worked most of the morning in the photo lab (which was very fun, once I got the hang of it), then spent the rest of the day dusting the Advil, Tylenol, etc. All those little boxes and bottles taken off the shelves... dusting/washing shelves... making sure I have all of the proper tags... checking expiration dates... all those boxes and bottles put back onto shelves. It's slow and tedious work but it's something I rather enjoy. I like cleaning. Rather, I like stepping back and seeing the results of my labors. I love that shining glow that emerges after you have cleaned.

Theatre is coming along well. I have been memorizing my lines and getting into character. Once again, I love, love, love working with the other people involved. Watching different aspects of people emerge as they become their character is amazing and often hilarious. One of the women in the cast took on a persona last Sunday that had us all in stitches. It was brilliant and very funny.

The orthodontist told me that April 7th would be the day my braces were coming off. I don't know if my bottom braces will be since my teeth are still not in place (they did some major adjusting... in fact, it was only a couple days ago they actually stopped hurting. They've never hurt for almost an entire month before... agh! I will be so glad to get them off!). As soon as my braces are off, Jesse's dad will take pictures of us and we'll be able to get to work on our wedding invitations. I'm really looking forward to those!

Today, on the way to work, I slipped on the ice and fell. I landed on my bad knee (of course), left hip, elbow and twisted my ankle. Then, at work, I accidentally smashed my thumb while working at the photolab. Yes, it was on accident. I hate smashing my thumbs. So painful. But I have survived with little swelling and no Advil. So far. I believe sleep may call for it. Add a headache to all of my aches and pains (incidentally, my big toe on my right foot hurts the worst right now and I don't recall doing anything to it) and it kind of makes sleep not an option.

Speaking of sleep, I really should shower and get to bed. Another day of work and teaching tomorrow. You know, in spite of all my complaining, I am so happy. I feel so incredibly blessed. Thank you, God. :-) I had a really good day.

Good night, everyone! Sweet dreams.

Random Thoughts of the Day

Praise: Greg Wallace has crossed over into eternity and is experiencing new life. Please keep his family in your prayers, especially making mention of Melody, his beloved.

Praise: The last year, I have simply prayed that if it was God's will I be married, the man He sent would be one who sought for Truth. That covers a lot of angles, so I just prayed for that... and God's will. I had almost given up on ever finding that man. :-)

I am so glad and thankful to love, and be loved in return by, a man who search for truth amazes and humbles me. Thank you, thank you.

Praise: I worked a 9 hour day at Pharmasave today and it went well. I am really learning the ins and outs of the till... and today I was asked if I would work in the photolab. Of course I almost shouted yes. :-D This job is fitting more and more of my kinks. Awesomeness. :-)

Suppertime!