Vulnerability: the Sanest Place To Be

We're going to Europe. That is what's on my mind. I should probably be looking for places to stay in Frankfurt. And researching good, cheap places to eat for foodies in the Black Forest. Which shop sells the best chocolate in Switzerland? I CAN'T WAIT TO VISIT THE MARKET PLACES IN GERMANY!! AHHHHH!!! That being said, a month long adventure is not the only thing occupying my thoughts. So, instead of looking at hundreds of room listings and affordable restaurants, here I am. For the first time in a year, I am endeavoring to write a blog post. It feels... strange.

September 13th, 2014 will mark four years since I left home. The first four years, they say. After 1460 days, things start getting better. Your brain can keep up with your emotions. Your soul doesn't feel so flattened under the stress of figuring out exactly who you are. Your heart can open itself with a little more trust. You don't remember the voices and accusations and mind games so clearly; each breath becomes a little easier. Has it worked? Am I more... me?

Ask me in September.

What I can tell you is that I have been learning and changing. (A lot.) For instance: as long as I can remember, my emotions were frowned upon, punished and thrown negatively at me as "female." Apparently, only females have emotions and all emotion is bad. (Unless, of course, you're "content" and "joyful".) :nods:

It's come to my attention that my emotions exist and I cannot negate them without negating myself. 

Before we go any further, let me tell you: men and women have emotions. The angriest, most depressed, violently emotional person I know is a male and the most emotionally repressed people I know are of both genders. Being told that my emotions were insignificant was a way of making me doubt myself. After years of being told that all women are easily deceived and that I couldn't trust thoughts, feelings or emotions, getting out of a harmful relationship and an abusive home situation was almost impossible. Saving myself was the most difficult thing I have ever done. But I did it. This gives me hope for everyone involved in abusive situations. We don't need people to save us. Yes, we need people to help us ... maybe even give us that little nudge onto a different path.. but ultimately, we must save ourselves. That is what this blog post is about.

Negative emotions. Anger. Sorrow. Pain. Frustration. Fear. Yes, there are days when they do overwhelm me. There are still days that I would rather traverse a room filled with snakes and spiders than face my emotions. My anger and horror and fears about my previous home and some of the authoritarian figures in the past years of my life had been pushed down for decades. The worse my life became, the happier the mask I put on. After an entire life of pretending, I didn't know what what was real or false. What was I? Sad? Happy? What should I be? I should be happy, right? At approx. 1350 days, I've discovered that the strain of holding down that much negativity can seriously dent a person.

I refuse to play this game any longer. I am so sick and tired of the lies I was forced to live and adhere to. I finally do not have to feel any thing or any way for any one. So yes, there is much for me to be angry about. I'm sad, I'm scared, I'm confused. In facing these emotions, I find myself finally being honest and discovering things about myself. I am also finding that after all those years of pushing down those emotions, feeling resembles a dam bursting and the resulting flood.

"I am so sad. I feel like my parents will never admit anything. My siblings will never stop pushing me away. It doesn't matter how much I reach out to them, they are never safe. I remember what it feels like to not be accepted for who I am. I remember how it feels to live in constant fear. The long days and months and years of waiting... it feels hopeless..."

"Yeah! I am so happy! The world is a wonderful place! Everybody needs to feel this happy. Jesse is amazing and wonderful and more than I could ever ask for. I can't believe how lucky we are. He is my soul. Just thinking about him makes my heart do strange things. Each day, love feels more real and tangible than the last. L. is also on this journey of healing... she is so strong. Every day, I am amazed by her. H. is opening her eyes and starting to accept our past. Her path is rocky but she is up for the challenge. God is real and close. I cannot believe the how much he knows about me and how strong he wants me to be. I know that he has been there all along for me. I know that this hard path my siblings are walking right now must have some purpose. I trust that eventually, they will find the courage and strength to accept the truth and reach out for help."

These are things I have every right to feel deeply saddened about. These are things I have every right to feel elated about. Most of my days, I can handle parts of both -- balancing the sorrow and joy is something healthy people do. My journey is not so simple, though. I've just begun. Some of my days are deeply sad or ecstatically happy. But there is a good part to this: something I've learned over the past few months is that I can acknowledge my emotions.

"I am sad. It's ok to be sad. Why am I sad? Because that man reminded you of someone who hurt you for many years. It's ok. Don't stop looking. Be sad. Don't hide it. Tell someone if you need to."

"I'm scared. Why am I scared? I was happy and I'm scared that if I'm happy, someone will see that and use it against me. That happened to you many times. You would have things you liked or appreciated taken from you just because you felt affection towards them. Why did he do this to you? Because he had to be in control. But you are in control now. Jesse is not an abusive person. He is a loving person. Trust yourself; trust him. Start there."

"I'm happy! Why am I happy? Because I feel loved. Why do you feel loved? Because you are loving yourself and those around you. You are able. You are in control of your life and your emotions. I'm also listening to the main theme from Indiana Jones. That might have something to do with it."

"I have faith in people. Why do I have faith? Because my heart is able to open itself today. It doesn't matter how many times people turn their backs on me, I am going to be there when they need me again. I am actively forgiving them. I have faith that eventually, they will reach out for love and acceptance. When they hurt me, it is because they feel vulnerable. When they slap my face, it is because they feel that someone is doing something much worse to them. When they reject me, it's because they are afraid someone is going to reject them. When they refuse my love, it is because they are terrified of their world crashing around them and all the doors closing. I've been there. I understand. I love them."

There are millions of other emotions. I have just touched the surface of mine. In the midst of the swirling pool of confusion, there is something I know in certainty: I can become stronger. Today, I am stronger. Who knows what tomorrow holds? Who cares? Yesterday doesn't matter either. Today, I am writing a blog post. Today, I woke up. Today, I told my husband that I loved him. Today, I listened to the sounds from Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Braveheart and The Artist. Today, I picked up some shirts from the floor. Today, I love my brothers and sisters deeply and painfully. Today, beauty has already taken my breath away. Today, I forgive myself and accept another chance at love and strength.

Yesterday and yesterday people: this is about me and the universe. Go away.

Tomorrow and tomorrow people: this is about me and the universe. Go away.

Today and today people: this about me and my journey and my healing and the people I care about. You can stay.

Note: When I was writing, I had to fight the urge to write in generalizations. Each time I opened a little of myself, I would erase it and put in something else much safer. As you can see, my deeper instincts took over and my vulnerability is on display for all who care to see. Thank you for looking. 

Fall in White Bear

My sister Cilla.

Cilla is so lovely.

Isn't Lydia beautiful?

Pictures of Adorable Siblings

We went to see them. Oh yes, we did.

It was a good visit.

I know ya'll wanted to know what Uriah's tongue looks like.

Jesse enchanted them with his music. 

He always does.

Sara and Ruth thought it was good enough to dance to.

Little girls should always dance....

Cilla was leery of my camera but I won her over.

She has a beautiful smile!

Because there was company, the kids got all rowdy.

Here is The Horse (Zeke) and the three Lone Rangers (Ruth, Sara and Uriah).

The day we went up, a book came in about Saskatchewan. It was for kids and I knew my little sisters would like it. Sara finally got it away from Ruth and is being all studious. :-)

...because you asked

Here are some of the pictures our photographer took. I hope you enjoy them as much as we are!

Oldest and youngest. :)

The Holter clan and 2 very happy Twietmeyers. Well, technically at that point I was still a Holter but who cares about technicalities anyway?

Me and my two Mums. Aren't they beautiful, lovely women?

love... love... love... this picture!

Best friends. :hugs:

What Brothers Think Their Sisters Look Like

Courtesy: Jesse Holter

Amazing People

Hannah

Once upon a time, there was a night in which something spectacular and marvelous happened; a miracle was brought into existence and great joy reined in the hour: a little girl was born. She had dark brown hair (lots of it!), blue eyes and a vivid personality from the first. They named her Hannah Caroline after her grandma and she became my sister. The world was never the same again. 

My first memory of Hannah, or at least, of her existence, was the night she was born. I woke up briefly when my grandmother was picking me up and carrying me across the yard to their house. I remember sensing the excitement and all the lights and people and... promptly going back to sleep again.

My second memory of her consists of something I'm ashamed about but it sheds light on the way our relationship was... kind of... is... ;-) 

Second memory [::drum roll::]: 

Hannah (2): being irritating

Naomi (4): irritated

Naomi: seeks revenge

Naomi: does something to make Hannah angry

Hannah: is angry

Hannah: bites Naomi

Naomi: tattles

Hannah: gets into trouble with parents

Yes, it's funny and a little sad. I am sitting here hitting myself on the head and wondering at the devious thoughts of young children. Scary! 

Hannah and I get along much better now than we used to. ;-) There are many subjects we don't agree on and she's very annoying sometimes (I don't think that's going to change) but in spite of that, I have matured enough to realize that my sister is amazing. (I am quite serious about this, Hannah darling!!) Here are some reasons why: 

She is very determined and does not give up easily.

She works hard and laughs harder.

She is very creative and you never know what to expect from her!

She cooks/bakes WONDERFUL meals. 

She sews, crochets, writes, etc, etc... basically, works willingly with her hands. 

Her conscience is very tender... if she senses something amiss in her life, she will do everything in her power to get back on track. 

She loves children. Working at camp with her last summer was a wonderful experience. She usually had the littlest cabin of boys and oh... did they respond to her. Something about her... 

She has a generous spirit. It simply shines. She gives and gives and gives. It never seems to dry up! 

When she decides that God wants her to do something, she does not wait around for it to happen. She makes it happen. 

She is sincere and honest. If Hannah says something, she really believes it with all of her heart. 

And she makes the best smoked chicken in the entire province! She made her own smoker with an old range, a tunnel underground and who know what else. ;-) Whatever she did, it was right. I still have dreams about it. 

Hannah, you are a beautiful, brilliant, wonderful person whom I am so glad to have for a sister. I love you! May you find joy in being who God created you to be.

Well, I haven't been bored! ;-)

It seems like I've been crazy busy for the past few weeks... Before Christmas, I worked for about two weeks on a Christmas present for Michele. It was a scrapbook about camp 2010; pictures, memories, quotes, etc. I spent about 8 hours a day on it and rarely left my room in that time. Lol. I really should start my projects a bit earlier in the season... I finished it last minute, as usual! But Michele liked the finished product so I'm not complaining. And, FYI, I do love scrapbooking. :-)

However, there were some very frustrating moments and I would complain bitterly to myself and my friend (fellow scrapbooker) Lindsey. Because it was a secret, I couldn't exactly write about it via my blog. So, you missed all of the really sarcastic remarks about how much I love the person who decided 12" x 12" scrapbook paper should not be exactly 12" x 12". So frustrating!!! Trying to get the paper on the page and having it go crooked, etc. Ahhhh!! Lol. Another one of my greatest moments of sarcasm was directed at the sticky things I'd bought instead of double sided tape. Mistake. Finally, I was smart and went into town and found some of said tape (somewhat of a miracle, according to the people I had asked!) which made my existence a whole lot easier. :-) 

Christmas for the first time in 15 years was lovely. I really enjoyed the dinners, the games, the conversations, the gifts, the decorations, the people... The best part of it was seeing Jesse again. He arrived safely in Saskatoon after spending his two weeks in Europe and oh, was I delighted to look into his face again... :-) :-) After Christmas, we went up to see my family in Endeavour. It went over quite well. The kids really liked him and Mom said they did, so I'm happy. :-)

Next day:
I meant to post this yesterday morning but I wasn't able to finish it in time. Jesse took me to Regina for what he termed our 'big date'. It was very fun and both of us were feeling quite well for only having just recovered from the flu. We enjoy our road trips because they give us time to talk and feel like we're accomplishing something at the same time. ;-) :-) We went shopping at comics/used books stores and ate a lunch with my dear friends Ray and Tahnis. We also saw The Voyage of the Dawn Treader in 3D which was amazing. I really enjoyed that movie. :-) For those of you who haven't seen it, I would recommend the experience.

Back to the flu topic, has anyone else gotten it? It seems like almost everyone here has... nasty bug. I didn't have it nearly as badly as some, however. For that I am grateful. I have been taking some preventatives and hoping that tides me over. I am so glad I only felt sick and didn't actually have too many symptoms. Vomiting automatically sends the flu to a completely different level. :-P

So, this is my brief update. I am sorry to let it go for so long. May your weekend be beautiful and full of joy. Hugs!

Ellie

For the record: We do not hate the doctor in question nor do we hate having free surgeries. It's just the matter of getting the problem fixed. I hate the pain my sister is going through.

Phone conversation:

Ellie: Hello

Naomi: I just wanted to say that I absolutely adore your doctor. I think he's the best man in the whole, entire world because the best men are always complete idiots.

Ellie: :mischievous chuckle: ok. :silence: :another mischievous chuckle: You'd love his accent, too. He's from South Africa. 

Naomi: Can I write a rant blog post about him?

Ellie: Do you want his name?

Long ago and far away, there was a little, adorable calf that had broken his leg. Our neighbor had asked us if we wanted him to try to raise up and we said, of course. (We love free stuff. ;-)) The calf was obviously in pain and we should have put him down as soon as we got him but we didn't. He was also wild and scared since he'd just been weaned and hurt all at the same time. 

Ellie somehow had gotten him on a halter and was trying to move his pen to better grass... when he suddenly charged her. She got out of the way but wrecked her shoulder in the process. Typical Holter reaction? Let it rest for awhile to see if it gets better. Two years later, it is really bad. Her shoulder comes out of place even when she takes off her coat... imagine trying to milk, ride horses, hunt, etc, etc, with this thing. 

So, she, along with my parents have been going through the long process of trying to get some help. Chiropractor said, "Just stand with better posture." Doctor said, "Oh, your shoulder keeps coming out of socket! [Ellie thinks, "That's what I just told you."] Better make an appointment down in Yorkton to have an ultrasound done." Ultrasound people, "We'll send the results back to your Dr." Doctor said, "There's nothing wrong. It's a genetic thing." Thus resulting in the above phone conversation. 

The purpose of this blog post is three things: 

1: Please pray for my sister. She's tough. When you see tears in her eyes, it's because it *really* hurts. She's only 20. I don't want to see her living with this for any longer than she has to. Also pray that she'll get through the surgery, if it happens, without much worry or emotional scars. 

2: I love my sister and I love our phone conversations. 

3: A rant about the Canadian medical system. Can you tell how much I love it? 

Ok. I have a student arriving in 10 minutes so I should run. Bekah! I adore comments. ;-) I'll reply later. 

Bounce in My Step

The past few years have been interesting... especially regarding my health. As most of you know, I've been doing so much better the past few months. This summer, I had to work, teach kids and be around amazingly energetic people 24/7. I kept up. It was wonderful. :-)

As most of you know, this fall I had a bout of bronchitis and I'm just getting over the tail end of it. I feel amazing again!! I have energy. I can teach kids all afternoon and still feel patient enough to smile at them when the lesson is finished. (Btw, YES patience and good health work hand in hand a lot of the time...) ;-) I can work at DQ for 7 hours and have a bounce in my step on my way home. I can go to theater practice for three hours and have fun chatting up a storm with Michele at midnight while we're eating our snack. (You get absolutely famished after theater. Believe me.)

So, I appreciate all of the prayers and I just wanted to write an update about how I was doing since I have posted requests of prayer in the past. :-)

Today, we're off to Regina to do some shopping and to see my sisters, Ellie and Lydia. We're also going to the symphony. ;-) I am so excited. :-D

Life Moves On

Three months at camp, away from my family and my old way of life, has changed me in many ways. I think they are good changes but you will have to judge for yourself over the next few months of blogging. ;-)

The first month was spent getting to know my sisters. You would think we knew each other before. Actually what we knew was the shells each of us had put up around each other. At home, we were the human beings our family had dictated we were to be. I do not mean this in a malicious way. I believe every family to a certain extent, decides who their children are and what role they must play. It took about two weeks for my sisters and I to discover that under our shell exteriors, we were different people than we thought we were. We were surprised about each other and shocked about ourselves. Our relationships with God and with each other blossomed and matured and became sweeter each day.

The second month was spent in the company of people who needed love and effort and blessings each moment of every day. They were wonderful kids but they were high maintenance. It makes me get a little sniffly sometimes when I remember how God always worked through every situation and how many people were able to experience (some for the first time) His love and joy that passes all understanding. I do not know how many... or if any... accepted the Gift at the time but the seeds were sown. We wanted their parched hearts to be filled and overflowing with something that is true and transparent and unbelievable.

The third month. What can I say? It was music day in and day out. :-) I love it. I love camp. I love the people. I love the music. I love the schedule. I love learning. I love jamming. But I love the people the most. They inspire me, comfort me, help me, shove me, lead me on to higher, headier mountaintops than I have ever dreamed of.

And that's one of the reasons I'm now living in Carlyle, Saskatchewan. Away from all the blood members of my family but with some of my family of the heart. Michele Amy and her husband Will offered me a place to stay (they, in fact, offered it to all three of us girls but other things came up for them, which I will write about later) and a way to support myself.

I am planning on teaching piano and cleaning house, so far. I have a cough (that seems to be getting better, thankfully!) so I didn't want to go to church and risk infecting anyone so I stayed home and cleaned part of the kitchen. Michele has been really sick the past month and the house suffered. But I can fix it. Cleaning gives me a lot of time to pray and think and meditate.

Music, on the other hand, has been something I am excited beyond reason about and dreading at the same time. I know when I get into it, I'll be fine and I will be able to see where I need to progress. But it's like a deep, dark hole that I am plunging into. I know I love teaching and I know I love music but it's a bit daunting! The good thing is that Michele is an awesome pianist who is willing to share her knowledge when I need it.

And another good thing is that Moses didn't think he could do it either. :-) I'll try to write more about that later.

Hannah is attending Nipawin Bible College.

Lydia is training horses and helping around the farm for John and Vicki Arcand at Windy Acres in Saskatoon.

Life goes on. (It's goings on are awfully exciting!)

Pictures

Just some pictures from around the house...

We had so much fun with the grandparents! :)

Jesse took this picture of me.

It's so hard to get a good picture of poultry. Lol. But I love this one.

Sara is walking!

It was his idea!!

One of those generation shots that everyone wants to take. ;)

The boys were playing their version of croquet.

I love tulips. They're so much fun to take pictures of... fiddleheads are nice, too.

April 27th Update with pictures

So the past few days have been very busy. I feel like I've been going non-stop since last Wednesday, when we went up to Swan River, MB for our braces appointment. I have this sneaking suspicion that it's not going to be slowing down anytime in the near future. :-)

I had a minor cardiac arrest on the 22nd. I had spent the entire morning, practicing, working on the program books, making sure all my notes were in place. I loaded things up going out the door and we were on our way. Just as we got to the long term care centre, I realized that the books were not beside me. A frantic search ensued which only showed us that the books were still at home... obediently sitting in their bag.

Of course, I then had to figure out what we could play without books. As it turns out, you can't think well when you're stressed out, so I had to get my heart working normal speed again. Lol! Between all of us that were playing, we managed to play enough songs from memory for 45 minutes worth of music. I was so happy. I didn't think we knew that much music. :-) :-)

So in spite of the panic, I am glad it happened. It means that we aren't stuck to our books and we can actually sound ok without them. Thank goodness though, it wasn't a real concert or show!

Yesterday morning, a woman called from the Mackenzie Training Centre in Preeceville to ask if we would play for the monthly b-day party they put on. We decided that we could, even though we hadn't practiced the past couple of days. Lydia and Zeke decided that they weren't going to come because it would wreck their day's activities. So we kind of survived without them and had a wonderful time. I love the spirit there.

It's a place for people who are mentally retarded. We've done one other show at a place similar to it but they were so dull. It was hard to be around them because everyone seemed so severe and sad. But this place was different. It was like a huge party. :-) They did the hand motions with the kids, danced on the fast tunes, sang and laughed with us. I made a blooper on one of the entros and had to replay it but the atmosphere was so easy that I didn't feel embarrassed at all. :-) They simply appreciated the music. It was so nice. :-)

Other than music, I've been writing a lot. Reviews of books, movies and music. So that's been keeping me very busy. Right now, I'm trying to read “the Forgotten Garden”. It's very nice so far. I love mysteries and I love Britain, so this fits the bill for me.

Does anyone like “The Princess Diaries”? They were pretty clean, I thought and I love Julie Andrews, period. :-) I love it when she sings.

We had another calf on Saturday. Lydia's Caresse had a huge heifer and they had to pull it. Thankfully, mama and baby seem fine. The heifer is named Lotte. Lydia's now milking in the mornings as well as Ellie and Martha. Peter and Gabi W. happened to be over at the time that Lotte was being born and Peter really wanted to get his hands dirty. :-) They had never seen a calf being born before... and it only takes having friends like the Holters to give you completely new (and perhaps a little bizarre) experiences. Hehe. ;-)

This morning, the director of the camp Hannah, Lydia and I are going to be teaching at called... he needs people to help him clean up the camp before it starts. Some kids he had set up for the job canceled. Anyways, it looks like we'll now be gone for the entire month of June as well as July and most of August. When he called, I told him that we would have to talk about it... kind of thinking that it wouldn't be something my sisters would want to do or my parents would want us to do (because that means we'll be gone for three months this year). But everyone was really gung-ho about it and I'm still catching my breath! Lol. It's going to be quite a summer!!

So if you think of us, please pray that we'll be a blessing to those we come in contact with. I sometimes feel very weak... not just physically. :-) But with God nothing is impossible.

Ladies Time Out is on the 30th and things are coming together. Please, please pray for that, too. I want it to be an evening that is so fun and full of goodness that everyone will come away with sweet memories.

My Grandparents should be arriving sometime this week, too. I am looking forward to seeing them so much! I just can't wait. :-) :-) :-)

Well, I'm going to be heading over to the neighbors after dinner so I should be posting this today. I hope you all have a wonderful week. God bless!

Maidenhood -- Longfellow

Maiden! With the meek, brown eyes,

In whose orbs a shadow lies

Like the dusk in evening skies!

Thou whose locks outshine the sun,

Golden tresses, wreathed in one,

As the braided streamlets run!

Standing with reluctant feet,

Where the brook and river meet,

Womanhood and childhood fleet!

Gazing, with a timid glance,

On the brooklet's swift advance,

On the river's broad expanse!

Deep and still, that gliding stream

Beautiful to thee must seem,

As the river of a dream.

Then why pause with indecision,

When bright angels in thy vision

Beckon thee to fields Elysian?

Seest thou shadows sailing by,

As the dove, with startled eye

Sees the falcon's shadow fly?

Hearest thou voices on the shore,

That our ears perceive no more,

Deafened by the cataract's roar?

Oh, thou child of many prayers!

Life hath quicksands, Life hath snares!

Care and age come unawares!

Like the swell of some sweet tune

Morning rises into noon,

May glides onward into June.

Childhood is the bough, where slumbered

Birds and blossoms many numbered;--

Age, that bough with snows encumbered.

Gather, then, each flower that grows,

When the young heart overflows,

To embalm that tent of snows.

Bear a lily in thy hand;

Gates of brass cannot withstand

One touch of that magic wand.

Bear through sorrow, wrong and ruth

In thy heart the dew of youth,

On thy lips the smile of truth.

O, that dew, like balm, shall steal

Into wounds, that cannot heal

Even as sleep our eyes doth seal;

And that smile, like sunshine, dart

Into many a sunless heart,

For a smile of God thou art.

--Longfellow

Talent Show -- April 11th

April 11th

Club 60

Preeceville, SK

When we were asked to participate in the talent show Club 60 was putting on for the community, of course we said yes. I like talent shows. They're fun. The audience is usually wonderful and, especially in small town Saskatchewan, supportive of anyone who comes onstage. You feel like you're just jamming in front of a group of friends. :-)

The Woodland Chorus -- wonderful singers!

There were nine other participates, among them Mark Dolton (singer), the Kosheluk family (musicians), The Woodland Chorus (old-tyme singers), Andrew Meroniuk (fiddler), Anhelina Havrylyuk (singer), Stella Holmes & Alina Havrylyuk (musicians/singers) and William Brown.

While picking music for this event, I knew right away what one of them would be. “The Old Rugged Cross” with Ellie on the fiddle, Hannah on the banjo, Lydia on Guitar and myself on piano makes for a unique and beautiful sound. I never thought a fiddle and banjo combination on this song would sound so nice. But it does. :-)

The K kids

Stella Holmes, who had helped organize the event, asked us to do a folk song. Until around six days before the event, I was stumped... we don't know many folk songs and... even fewer that we sing well. But we were looking through an old fiddle/folk/cowboy song book and found “Red River Valley”. I tried it on the piano and found that it had potential. Was I ever relieved! I had been praying very hard...

What was left was solved by Ellie and Ruth. Ellie figured out a fiddle medley that sounded great and that she and Zeke could both play on. Then, Ruth came to me, asking if we could do “I've Got the Joy”. We've done that song a million and one times but the kids still love it and the audience still loves it. In fact, after doing Club 60, a woman came up to me and asked if we would perform that song at their Cornfest in September at Okla. :-) I guess it's a hit.

Willie J., our mc of the afternoon and Hannah. He asked to sing the chorus of The Old Rugged Cross with us... after we'd finished the song. It was an honor to say yes. :-)

The time of practicing was an interesting experience. Some of you might remember my blog post awhile back about praying before each practice. Well, I must say that I had forgotten to pray the first couple of days and things were not going nicely. In fact, it was so stressful that we were all dreading practice times and I knew that our playing and singing were also being effected by the stress. So I decided that no matter what (God, please remind me!), I was going to pray before each practice time and really trust that He was going to take care of things. He did. :-)

The show went very well. We had put the songs together so we had lots of variety. Each song had a different group of people playing:

Fiddle Medley:

Joys of Quebec/Chinese Breakdown/Redwing

Zeke (fiddle)

Ellie (fiddle)

Hannah (banjo)

Lydia (guitar)

Naomi (piano)

The Old Rugged Cross:

Naomi (piano/singing)

Hannah (banjo/singing)

Ellie (fiddle)

Lydia (guitar)

Red River Valley:

Martha (singing harmony)

Hannah (singing melody)

Naomi (singing melody)

Ellie (fiddle)

Lydia (guitar)

I've Got the Joy:

Ruth (singing)

Uriah (singing)

Cilla (singing)

Lydia (guitar)

Ellie (fiddle)

Hannah (singing)

Naomi (singing)

Anhelina H.

Alina H.

The way the show was put together was ushers would pass ice-cream (4 litre) buckets down the aisles and people would say which performer they were donating money to. The performer with the highest amount of money raised was declared the winner. The three top money garners would receive 10% of the money they raised. 50% of the money went to the hospital, while the other 40% went for expenses.

The winners were thusly:

1: Kosheluk Family

2: Holter Family

3: Anhelina Havrylyuk

We were all thrilled to pieces to win 2nd place. :-) It was quite a surprise! Our 10% came to $18, so we get $2.25 apiece. Cilla was literally hugging herself in excitement... “This is the first time I've ever won anything! ...[thinks for a moment]... well, except for that halter I won.” (That happened 4 years ago... when she was 4 years old, but still a red-letter memory. :-))

Anyway, I just wanted to share the excitement with ya'll. If this post is boring to you, go ahead and skip it, now that you're finished. :-) :-)

Has anyone else out there competed with music? Family group or otherwise? What are some of your best memories with music? What are some of your favorite family groups to listen to?

Sara

Please pray for Sara as she is teething. She's having a terrible time with it. Fever. Stomach upset. Just feeling plain rotten. :(

Dress-up and Old Hats

What is it about girls and dress-up? Little girls carrying purses as big as they are, sporting long dresses that fall off at both shoulders and whose hems are tripped over each step, even though the young wearer uses her free hand to hold up one side.

It's beautiful, really. And I'm not the only one who has thought so. I remember reading Grandma's Attic and Little Women, wishing I had the same selection of shawls, lovely gowns and fans... even the corsets sounded like great fun. And we haven't gotten to the hoops. Who of Arleta Richardson's readers doesn't remember Sarah Jane and Mabel's adventures with the old hoops they found in one of their attics? I vividly remember my Mom reading that story out loud to us for the first time because she laughed so hard while reading it that she had tears running down her face. :-)

But it isn't only the authors who have immortalized little girls dressing up, many artists have captured the innocent fun and glory of the brief time we have as children. And for most of us, some of that time is parading around in Mom's or Grandma's old clothes. Scattering shoes as we go and getting our trains stuck as we go around a corner.

[Note to newer mothers: never let dress-up girls around anything that's glass. The girls are innocent but the clothes have a mean sense of humor.]

Norman Rockwell and Paula Vaughn are two artists I especially think of when the words “dress-up” come to mind. Both artists' work is excellent but in different ways: Norman Rockwell caught the innocence and the humor of it; Paula Vaughn caught the dreaminess, sweetness and beauty. Both understood how vital dress-up is for little girls... and boys, in some cases. :-)

Now me, well, I'm still not quite an adult. I haven't got that solemn, mature aura that exudes from those fortunate beings. No... not really, I'm afraid. I'm quite in love with dressing up and I've just had a wee bit of a taste of how in love I am.

You've heard me mention “Ladies Time Out”, an outreach of our church for ladies in the neighborhood. This year, it's about the 50's and people from our church are all trying to scrounge for everything they have from that era. (My Grandma is bringing her wedding dress!) I was talking to our neighbor about it and she said that her grandmother saved everything she ever wore. Instantly, I was all ears.

1: How does anybody do that? [When I'm finished wearing something, it's because it's falling apart at the seams.]

2: Could I please borrow anything she might have had from the 50's?

Our neighbor said, of course and just recently, she sent over a bagful of lovely hats. I am in heaven. :-D And so are my little sisters and one of my brothers (Hannah, Ellie, Lydia and Martha are excluded from that number, being inducted into the grown-up sphere long ago) (Jesse and Zeke... well, what can I say?). This morning, I decided that Ruth, Uriah and I were going to have a photo shoot with these hats just in case there is someone else out there who likes them as much as we do. I have two I especially like... a cream one (my favorite) and a black velvet one.

Most of these hats, to my surprise, were made to be worn resting on top of a bun or twist. I find that charming... I hadn't thought of hats being made that way since the early 1900's. I love wearing these hats. The way they shape to the head, with the netting daintily falling over over the eyes and gently brushing the bridge of my nose makes me feel very feminine. The hats of this time are also very demure. I've never cared for hats that have huge brims... for all of their usefulness in keeping the sun off, they simply scream, “Look at me!” But the 50's hats, if worn with the proper apparel, allows the wearer to feel attractive but not as if she were the attraction.

We took some of our pictures downstairs, then Ri and Ruth went outside to play, so I decided to go upstairs and use a mirror to help me take some self photographs. Lydia has a junk fan in her room that lets the air be circulated. It's so wimpy that it isn't a problem... usually. I've always gone around it before but this time, with my arms full of hats and camera, I got tangled up in it. I stopped the fan and me. It shredded the deluxe President's Choice white plastic bag I had the hats in and somehow almost broke my big toe. I'm still not sure what happened, other than my toe still hurts and by the time I finally managed to make it upstairs (I hate those stairs!) I was crying/laughing because 1: it hurt so bad and 2: it was so ridiculous. Pure Naomi. You do not want to be me. Lol!

[Note to self: when arms are full and in vicinity of fan, refrain from going about stocking-footed on cement floor.]

But I recovered sufficiently to pose and take pictures of myself. The fact that none of them are phenomenal shots can be blamed on my suffering member. Aren't the hats darling though? :-)

Does anyone have a favorite era of hats? Do you get to wear hats on a regular basis? Can you order hats new from somewhere or do they all come from our grandmother's attics? Does anyone else out there over the age of 20 like to play dress-up? :-) :-)

Now, I must digress. If it wasn't for the fact that I have so many young siblings who love to dress-up, it wouldn't be half so much fun for me to act immature. :-) But I'm so glad I have I have a chance to have fun like this. Not many people have been given the gift I have been given: 10 brothers and sisters who love me in spite of me. :-)