Saturday, February 2, 2013

That Kind of Day

Over 1000 pictures held under close scrutiny in the period of a month. A single photograph consists of many things: texture, color, shapes, lines, happy, sad, laughter, anger... A thousand captured moments. You see the subjects over and over; you study their eyes, their mouths, hands, feet, legs, personalities. You do not judge because what is so, is so. The emotions flow over you, leaving little trace behind. You accept the cleansing because you must understand the picture before accepting it as a photograph.

After hours studying my own photographs, I have become more familiar with the persons in them. But the familiarity extends beyond the subjects: I have seen myself. In each picture, there I am; behind the veneer of the sweet flower girl or the happy couple; my selfdom, that force of me, glows distinct. The pictures are not about me; they are about someone else. Yet, I am part of them; I cannot help being here. 

There is certain amount of power in that. It is both ridiculously frightening and exhilarating to realize something in us is so significant; how we can change the lives of so many people with a single word or action:  such as... taking a picture. Yet, we forget we possess it: we grow accustomed to it, or perhaps we abuse it or maybe we never realized our potential. We are humans; we exist. That alone is mind blowing. When you add to it the fact that we are created in God's image, it becomes further astounding. 

I am told that I over think  insignificant, small things that should sometimes stay that way. I see the logic in this mindset. When I become angry over something small, my tendency is to feel very guilty for a very long time. Guilt is good... until you crown it king and allow it to rule. C.S. Lewis once said, "I sometimes think that shame, mere awkward, senseless shame, does as much toward preventing good acts and straightforward happiness as our vices can do." Pondering something is good until it takes the joy and spontaneity out of life. We need balance: knowledge of the power that exists in our souls plus the realization of how small we are in comparison to the Universe. 

It brings a question to mind: if my essence is so blended with all I touch, is not God here with us as well? He exists but we do not fully understand how or where. We catch glimpses in nature, in people, in situations: "Then shall they also answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee? Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me." Matthew 25:44-45

 ::inserts another C.S. Lewis quote which inspired me today:: "The essential meaning of all things came down from the 'heaven' of myth to the 'earth' of history. In so doing, it partly emptied itself of its glory, as Christ emptied Himself of His glory to be Man.... That is the humiliation of myth into fact, of God into Man; what is everywhere and always, imageless and ineffable...becomes small, solid—no bigger than a man who can lie asleep in a rowing boat on the Lake of Galilee." 

What is my conclusion then? I am sincerely happy to be done editing Carole-Lyne's wedding photographs. Haha. I shall continue on doing my best; trying to help people see that life is more about just existing. To stop when I begin just existing and to begin living. That way today is a tea and C.S. Lewis type of day. :-) 

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