That Kind of Day

Over 1000 pictures held under close scrutiny in the period of a month. A single photograph consists of many things: texture, color, shapes, lines, happy, sad, laughter, anger... A thousand captured moments. You see the subjects over and over; you study their eyes, their mouths, hands, feet, legs, personalities. You do not judge because what is so, is so. The emotions flow over you, leaving little trace behind. You accept the cleansing because you must understand the picture before accepting it as a photograph.

After hours studying my own photographs, I have become more familiar with the persons in them. But the familiarity extends beyond the subjects: I have seen myself. In each picture, there I am; behind the veneer of the sweet flower girl or the happy couple; my selfdom, that force of me, glows distinct. The pictures are not about me; they are about someone else. Yet, I am part of them; I cannot help being here. 

There is certain amount of power in that. It is both ridiculously frightening and exhilarating to realize something in us is so significant; how we can change the lives of so many people with a single word or action:  such as... taking a picture. Yet, we forget we possess it: we grow accustomed to it, or perhaps we abuse it or maybe we never realized our potential. We are humans; we exist. That alone is mind blowing. When you add to it the fact that we are created in God's image, it becomes further astounding. 

I am told that I over think  insignificant, small things that should sometimes stay that way. I see the logic in this mindset. When I become angry over something small, my tendency is to feel very guilty for a very long time. Guilt is good... until you crown it king and allow it to rule. C.S. Lewis once said, "I sometimes think that shame, mere awkward, senseless shame, does as much toward preventing good acts and straightforward happiness as our vices can do." Pondering something is good until it takes the joy and spontaneity out of life. We need balance: knowledge of the power that exists in our souls plus the realization of how small we are in comparison to the Universe. 

It brings a question to mind: if my essence is so blended with all I touch, is not God here with us as well? He exists but we do not fully understand how or where. We catch glimpses in nature, in people, in situations: "Then shall they also answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee? Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me." Matthew 25:44-45

 ::inserts another C.S. Lewis quote which inspired me today:: "The essential meaning of all things came down from the 'heaven' of myth to the 'earth' of history. In so doing, it partly emptied itself of its glory, as Christ emptied Himself of His glory to be Man.... That is the humiliation of myth into fact, of God into Man; what is everywhere and always, imageless and ineffable...becomes small, solid—no bigger than a man who can lie asleep in a rowing boat on the Lake of Galilee." 

What is my conclusion then? I am sincerely happy to be done editing Carole-Lyne's wedding photographs. Haha. I shall continue on doing my best; trying to help people see that life is more about just existing. To stop when I begin just existing and to begin living. That way today is a tea and C.S. Lewis type of day. :-) 

Thankfully

Old companions, Pain and I -- side by side, heads bent, hands tightly clasped; the whole world passing us by. These recent days, our meetings are rare but when we do, we sit in comfort. Secrets that have been hidden away are brought out. Examine; whisper; polish: are we ready to let  the wind whisk this hurt away? Or shall we keep it a little longer?

We are not exclusive, Pain and I; we often beg Mercy and Forgiveness to join our party. They are shy as the Silence. Sometimes it comes; sometimes not. The wait can be long. But when Forgiveness falls like a cleansing rain and Mercy alights on my shoulder, Time stands still.

As we reminisce, the old days seem as though they were but yesterday. Snapshots of moments are branded forever in our time. Pain  would sit on my chest as we listened to the night hours burn away until it was time to get up again. Pain clung to my neck as we survived the day, hurrying, worrying. Pain covered my ears at night when the nightmare came to visit them in the dark. And when they cried, we tried not to listen. Pain held my hand when the Guilts came and they could not have me.

Pain was the best, the most loyal of friends. We dreamed of better days, a different time when the world would fill with Love. But I was not anxious to leave my friend. We had seen the simplicity of All. We had listened to the heartbeat of the Universe. We had glimpsed The Intelligence. Truth had broken our shackles. Fear told me that I would not be the person I am without Pain, in conclusion: Pain was my Savior. I was very confused.

But Time marched on and dictated that our ways should soon part. Love and Joy began to walk with me. They brushed off Doubt and Fear, laughing... Perhaps, at me. They taught me a new dance, showed me the same Truth in a different light. I learned that I could stand without Pain to lean on.

It is true: there are days when I cannot dance. Love and Pain walk on either side then, guiding my feet. But I am growing. I learned that Fear's conclusions are never Truth: my Savior is within me. Pain is a good friend for a time, because we learn much together. But Truth and Time declare good health comes with Change.

I live this life thankfully.

Naomi T. all rights reserved

General Awesomeness

Today I am thankful. There is so much in my life that makes my heart glad. To be honest, I had my "complaining" days lately. During the past week... well, let's just leave it at: I am not a good sick person. :-) However, being a fair-weather person is not something I like to be and when Tuesday rolled around with me feeling like a walking skeleton, I decided to begin a "What I am Thankful For" post; because there are so many reasons to be thankful for in any state of being. This is the completion of that post. It took awhile to evolve. :-)  

I am thankful for God. He is magnificent. He never ends. There is always More of him. He forces me to think for myself and to become a stronger, deeper person. As each day passes, I find myself more entwined with his presence and the excellence of his spirit. In some ways, it is the easiest thing in the world; it also can be incredibly difficult to cast away my fears and embrace Love. But I know that nothing is impossible. There is so much to say about God but I think I will leave it at that.

I am thankful for Jesse. When we first began our relationship, I feared that our love for each other was only a passing fancy. It didn't feel like a passing fancy but how can you know? I learned very quickly that a relationship can only move forward if each has complete faith in the other. Jesse has proven himself in every way possible. He is not perfect but he is perfect for me... and guess what? He says the same about me. Our love grows stronger, deeper, fuller each day. When Jesse asked if we could date, he told me that he felt our meeting and getting to know each other was no accident: we were meant to be together. I believe this with all my heart: God hand-picked us for each other.

I am thankful for our house: it's old; it's meandering; it's home. The kitchen is over a century. Someone who has lived in our neighborhood for 40 years came into the store the other day and I asked him when the renovations took place. He thought for awhile, then he said that they took about 20 - 30 years to complete. I can see why. They are extensive. I love everything about our house... well, minus the leaks in the bedroom and office. Lol. I've been awakened by water dripping on my hand.

I am thankful for my jobs: piano/voice teacher and part-time receptionist at the local Pharmasave. My studio is here at home. I teach 15 students, three days a week. They are the light of my life and the balm of my soul. I love their imperfections, their joys and griefs... I love how each week brings a new challenge in teaching them. I help them and they help me. All of us have become better musicians... not just them. :-) Teaching music and voice has definitely been the most difficult task I have ever undertaken. I think about my students constantly. I plan lessons. I send kids to festival. I advise them to attend The Kenosee Lake Kitchen Party. I study instruction books to see which ones I like or dislike. But it isn't the teaching that is the hardest part. The hardest part is getting to know my students: I care and I get involved. They are all my friends. I respect them and they respect me. It's exhausting but it's the most rewarding, beautiful thing I have ever been involved in. :-)

Pharmasave has been a really great experience. Plus: I have the best bosses, managers and co-workers. Plus: I have learned so much. Downside: standing on concrete for 8 hours a day kills my knees, back, neck, etc, etc. Plus: I really hope to be working there for a few years (or until our kids come along).
 Pharmasave has actually become a second home to me and my coworkers have become second family. They are all like sisters. We vary greatly, we have different problems and we handle our different problems in different ways. But we all have the same goals. I suppose I could admit to Pharmasave being a bit of an exclusive club: if you're really lucky, you get in. ;-) (Actually, if you're a pleasant person who isn't afraid of hard work, we'd probably allow you a membership!)

I am thankful for good health: this morning, I woke up feeling... good. I've been sick for two weeks. Not the kind of sick that has you laying in bed (though there were a few days of that) but the kind of sick that you notice. Lack of energy, headaches, diarrhea, dehydration, etc., etc. The great thing about being sick is how much you enjoy being well afterwards. Lol. Today is one of those days. It's like, "YES! I can teach 7 students today. Bring 'em on!" I am eating healthy and taking walks and drinking lots of water and cranberry juice... ahhh. :-)

Between these things and every small circumstance that makes up my life, I am awesome. God is awesome. The cat is awesome. (Some days.) (I shall write more about him later.)

Life. I shall enjoy it while I have it. :-)

March 31st -- lion or lamb

Astonishingly, I actually found a lamb to take a picture of. Actually, lambs, plural. They are as delicious as they are adorable. 

Thank you to all of you who offered advice and great ideas for today's photo... and photos of the days past! You have helped make this month fun as well as challenging. 

I am sorry to see this month come to an end. Perhaps I will continue taking a picture a day; we shall see. :) 

March 20th -- flower

When I was younger, I collected china in all forms... unfortunately, as I grow older, my priorities have changed and I have stopped collecting for the most part.

However, on my 25th birthday, Michele gave me a beautiful cake stand (late 1800's) to add to my collection. I consider it among the most beautiful items I own. 

Each day, I look at it and revel in the beauty of friendship... and exquisite china 

March 19th -- office supply

At work, we have this huge lovely stack of Bristol Board. People come in and buy it all the time for art and science projects. It's bulky and awkward to deal with but I do believe this giant paper stack has become one of my favorite things about Pharmasave. 

Perhaps this is because I have a fond memory of the mushrooms our friend Connie made for our Mad Tea Party out of this stuff!

March 17th -- something green

Happy St. Paddy's Day! :-)

Here I am with some of the Pharmasave chicks. :-) 

March 11th -- Clock

This clock was a wedding gift. It stands sentinel over our living room, watching the passerby, my music lessons,  the cat and Jesse and me snuggling on the couch. We love our clock.

Somewhat back from the village street

Stands the old-fashioned country-seat.

Across its antique portico

Tall poplar-trees their shadows throw;

And from its station in the hall

An ancient timepiece says to all, —

      "Forever — never!

      Never — forever!"

Half-way up the stairs it stands,

And points and beckons with its hands

From its case of massive oak,

Like a monk, who, under his cloak,

Crosses himself, and sighs, alas!

With sorrowful voice to all who pass, —

      "Forever — never!

      Never — forever!"

By day its voice is low and light;

But in the silent dead of night,

Distinct as a passing footstep's fall,

It echoes along the vacant hall,

Along the ceiling, along the floor,

And seems to say, at each chamber-door, —

      "Forever — never!

      Never — forever!"

Through days of sorrow and of mirth,

Through days of death and days of birth,

Through every swift vicissitude

Of changeful time, unchanged it has stood,

And as if, like God, it all things saw,

It calmly repeats those words of awe, —

      "Forever — never!

      Never — forever!"

In that mansion used to be

Free-hearted Hospitality;

His great fires up the chimney roared;

The stranger feasted at his board;

But, like the skeleton at the feast,

That warning timepiece never ceased, —

      "Forever — never!

      Never — forever!"

There groups of merry children played,

There youths and maidens dreaming strayed;

O precious hours! O golden prime,

And affluence of love and time!

Even as a miser counts his gold,

Those hours the ancient timepiece told, —

      "Forever — never!

      Never — forever!"

From that chamber, clothed in white,

The bride came forth on her wedding night;

There, in that silent room below,

The dead lay in his shroud of snow;

And in the hush that followed the prayer,

Was heard the old clock on the stair, —

      "Forever — never!

      Never — forever!"

All are scattered now and fled,

Some are married, some are dead;

And when I ask, with throbs of pain,

"Ah! when shall they all meet again?"

As in the days long since gone by,

The ancient timepiece makes reply, —

      "Forever — never!

      Never — forever!"

Never here, forever there,

Where all parting, pain, and care,

And death, and time shall disappear, —

Forever there, but never here!

The horologe of Eternity

Sayeth this incessantly, —

      "Forever — never!

      Never — forever!"

-- Henry Woodsworth Longfellow

snaPshots of my LiFE

…every single time Jesse sees a picture of a cat he says, “Awwww..”

…almost every time I put down my plate or bowl or cup, Snow tries to eat or drink from it. That is so annoying. Ugh. At least he likes me. J

… I love that you can tell people’s mindset so clearly when they post a comment.

…And then there's the moment when Eli Eli posts a new song they recorded.

...I scratch Snow’s tummy and he enjoys it so much he falls off the couch.

…I open a letter from my sisters and it begins with “Dear Naomi, I love you!”

…the day I asked a student if they’ve had any lightbulb moments over the past week and they respond, “Uh no. Unfortunately not.”  Haha!!

…teaching a student and seeing the understanding hit them like a freight truck. So exciting!

… that dear friend who texts me and we have a chat about good times. Hello, Molly! Hi Lindsey. 

…seeing the sunlight dyeing the winter trees in red and yellow hues. One of these days I’m going to get a camera and take some real snapshots...

…staying up to all hours talking to my mother-in-law. Girl talk is brilliant.

…driving by myself. I love the feeling that I am no longer dependent on people to help me get to work or go grocery shopping, etc.


...hearing that my sister Hannah also passed her driver's test and has a Novice 1 license. Yes!!

…finishing 10 modules  (well, more because some of them were doubles) of a course that I was taking on Pharmasave. About 10 hours and 50 pages of hand written notes later, I am happy to say that I have completed the course.

…writing movie reviews while inspired.  In the past couple of weeks I’ve written and published three movie reviews on Ponderings. I love the feeling of accomplishment.

…Watching and listening to kids expressing themselves. The other night I was at Missoula theatre and was amazed at what two great directors can do with 30 children in a week. One of them, Kendra (age 8), hadn’t really ever sung in front of anyone and she pulled off a solo that was awesome.

…being happy sad all at once. I keep talking to people about Mya Dawn and how her memorial was so beautiful. She was 21 months old and had only known love her whole life. The accident was so horrible and the sadness that encompassed the community was heartbreaking. But the love that was expressed at her memorial was so wonderful. I can hardly explain what I mean. Little Mya Dawn, may you shine in the presence of our Lord.

…waking up happy.

…seeing my husband and feeling a burst of love that makes everything in life better.

…talking to Jesse.

…watching people during drama practice. The jokes are pretty amusing. J

…praying for wisdom, then receiving it.

…feeling God’s grace each moment of every day.

…little boys. There was one sitting behind me at Missoula. I think he was about 4 or 5 and his mom had him sitting on her lap because he couldn’t see the stage otherwise. About 30 minutes into it, he says quietly and really patiently, “Mom, I hate sitting still.”

…going to work and keeping busy all day. Though, of course, it is annoying when you’re trying to do three different jobs at once and an emergency interrupts every three minutes. Lol! Yesterday is was a paper jam which I couldn’t locate even after taking apart the machine. But at least I wasn’t bored!

...watching a great movie and not getting over it for months. One I watched this past week was "The Queen". I thought it was well done. I have always really like Helen Mirren but she was so good in this movie. I understand why my sister-in-law always calls her The Queen whenever she sees her in anything. I have joined the ranks. 

Because It's Late and I'm Feeling Emotional

Hairstyle. 

Wedding dress fitting. 

Ribbon.

Candy Table. 

Fruit. 

Housing people. 

Dishes. 

Did I forget to invite someone? 

Cheese cake. 

When are the grandparents arriving? 

Slippers.

Orthodontist appointment. 

Am I going to get sick from the insulation I inhaled? 

and the list goes on....

The stress is beginning to show. And I have so many people helping to carry this! Please pray for me. I want this to be a joyful time for everyone. However, it won't be if the bride ain't happy. Haha! It's easy to get stressed. It's not easy to remain at peace and happy. I have so much to be happy for. I am marrying Jesse and we love each other so very much. I prayed for inlaws that would be like family and they are wonderful. I have beautiful loved ones. Thank you, one and all. Your contributions of time and skill are making this time so much easier.

Jesse. I love you. 

Beautiful Moments

These are some pictures I took of at a friend's wedding this month. I am only posting my favorites since the internet connection seems to be hating me tonight. :-P :-) But I hope you enjoy seeing the beauty of the bride and the wedding. It was definitely a highlight of my summer!

Ruth and Justin ... happy bride and groom

I find much art in this picture. 

The cake topper and the pretty cupcakes. Unique. ::happy sigh::

A dear friend of mine wore lace. That is definitely one of the reason I love weddings. They give everyone an excuse to dress in their finest, prettiest clothes. 

Week 3 of Camp

July 19^th, 2011

It has been awhile since I've found the time to write! It has been really, really busy here... time actually passes really fast. I can't believe we're actually into the third week. I can't seem to keep my mind off of the wedding planning. Lol. The time is coming up. :-)

Important things I have discovered:

There will always be something happening at camp to make me miserable. Whether it's a dramatic child or heat or rain or having to haul my keyboard (that gets heavier and heavier each time) to and from the chapel twice a day, it's up to me to choose whether or not I am actually miserable. Lol.

There is always something something to be happy about. Kids who come up to you and hold your hand, just because they want to. Little voices and big voices blending together during mass, praising God. Watching an older child help a younger child. Eating great food three times a day.

“You know why I look happy? Because I get to go mini-golfing today.” -- Keira (7)

July 20^th, 2011

Today was so good. The weather was cool, which was a relief from yesterday and the day before. I have never felt heat like that before. We had kids having water fights and going into the pool all day long yesterday. Wow. But today was much more bearable. We didn't have to use the air conditioner and music sessions had everyone singing their hearts out. When people are miserable, they get ornery.

Today, Stirling and I went with six kids to mini-golfing for an hour or so. We split the kids up into two groups and went to different parts of the course. Stirling took Coty, Kyle and Baron. I took Andrew, Brynn and Rykele. I don't know if Stirling had fun but I sure did. Brynn is the most adorable 5 year old girl you've ever seen. She has long blonde hair and she's really tiny. She and Rykele are sisters (Rykele being eldest). I have only gone golfing once before this so perhaps I am easily impressed. However, Brynn got half of the holes within a couple shots. She simply knew how to hit the ball. Rykele wasn't bad either but Brynn really surprised all of us. :-)

Andrew (7?) was hilarious. He and Kyle are twins. Andrew is a brunette and Kyle is blond but other than that, they are identical. They look so much alike and sound so much alike that I often mistake one for the other. I really enjoy being around them. Anyways, ever before we got to hole 1,  Andrew insisted that we call him “Tiger Woods” because he was so very good at golf. He had, according to him, been to this course about 8 times and had been playing golf most of his life. In fact, he would be waiting for us every time he won against us. Within five minutes, he was almost moaning in pain because he had missed several shots. He began to say what a horrible golfer he was and he really should just leave the game because he was only hurting the other players (us). Over the next hour, depending on how he did, he was at one of these two extremes. Never in the middle. As Miss Cornelia (Anne's House of Dreams) would say, “So like a man!” ;-) I only laughed a couple times. I promise. :-)

 After one music session, we had some extra time to kill, as usual. So I asked some of the kids about their favorite things regarding camp life. It was interesting to get some of their replies. I told them I would blog what they said so here it is. My personal favorite is Mason's. :-) 

Justin (11): I liked the waterslides the best and canteen and activities and being in an awesome cabin, the games in the evening and canoeing. Having friends here.

Colby (13): I liked the waterslides and canoeing best. Having Justin as my friend. I like my cabin members as friends. I like the food. The food is good.

Michael (12): Counselors and canoeing. Waterslides and games. Friends. Pool. Paddle boating. Food! Sleeping. Having friends. Making friends. Learning stuff. Having fun.

Jasmine (11): I am excited for horseback riding and waterslides. The counselors are really nice. I like canoeing.

Mattesyn (12): It's like a Bible camp but they have a bunch of fun stuff too. I love this camp! I love almost everything except that there is a puddle in front of our cabin.

Grace (10): I like everything about camp, especially the food.

Jada (13): Canoeing. I really enjoy being with friends. I've made lots of new ones this year.

Jack (10): I like horse back riding. I like canoeing. I also like the food. My favorite meal so far was the turkey, mashed potatoes and stuffing. I like wood working and the water fight we had in sports today.

Mason (11): I like that I figured out how to get these two water balloons on my fingers! One thing I didn't like how the horse peed while I was getting on it. It went on my foot. I like how I know how I'm going to pass on my swimming.

Joshua (11): I like how the people in this camp spell my name right. And I like my cabin and the people in it.

Levi (10): I like how my cousins can come to this camp and that you get so hot here that you get thrown into the pool.

Noah (8): I like the food, especially the meatballs. I like going swimming the pool.

Jaimie (10): I like doing the art and the music. I probably will enjoy the waterslides too, since I was there once before and really liked it. I like hanging out with my friends in my cabin and starting to make a song for the end of the week.

July 23rd, 2011

For several days I had been really worried about how we were going to pay for certain things for the wedding. One of the biggest ones was the cake. I wanted to make 3 big cheesecakes and 400 cheesecake cupcakes so everyone who came would have some but I wasn't sure how I was going to pay for this. Cream cheese is expensive and so is sour cream. Then  you add things like oreo cookies and fruit to the mix and there goes another $50 or so. Anyways, Gisele and Tylene both grabbed me and sat me down and asked me what I was so worried about and I told them. They helped me figure out how much I really needed to make: 3 cheesecakes and 150 cheesecake cupcakes will feed 200 people. Plus, we're doing potluck dinner so people will bring dessert. Add that to the factor and that cuts down on $$. I was really relieved to think of this and also, where to get the ingredients cheaply... then, the evening of the 20th, Jesse had come out for a visit and Emma grabbed us both to go out and hug with the cabins. They were calling it an early night because it had been so very hot the past couple of days and people were just exhausted. We were at cabin 7 and had just started hugging when Emma suddenly said, "It's prayer time at the MTC [where the counselors all sleep,etc] so we should go do prayers." Neither of us thought anything of it. Jesse didn't even say anything when he saw people hiding behind the couches when we walked up to the door of the MTC. In fact, we still didn't think it was for us when they all leaped up shouting "SURPRISE!!!!" when we walked through the door. ;-) But it was a bridal shower and what a wonderful bridal shower it was. :-) They had made all sorts of delightful goodies, including pizza and chocolate dipped strawberries. Everyone had worked so hard to get it all together and to keep it a secret. I was so shocked. I had not even gotten a hint in the wind that anything was up. Lol. They were really good. :-D 

But the part where I cried was the best, if not the most embarrassing moment of all. I unwrapped the gifts: cream cheese and graham cracker crumbs wrapped in tea towels. The explanation was that they were buying the ingredients for the cake. Yes. I started crying. I had been so worried about how we were going to be paying for all of these things and God just took care of it through the generosity of people I love. I wish I could express how touched we are. There are simply no words for it. 

And yes. This past week was so good. It wasn't just the bridal shower, though that was a big part of it. :-) The kids behaved well for the most part and people really participated in the music. Molly and I were really happy about that. Now I am looking forward to the next and final week. After this, I will have a few days of music camp and then, I will be able to spend time trying to plan wedding. Life is good and life is really busy. 

Positive: I am feeling much more rested than I have in a very long time. Negative: Stirling got injured badly this past week. He will be fine as long as he takes it easy but I am so worried about him. Positive: I have really awesome friends surrounding me. Negative: Some of the big boys really misbehaved on Friday and scared us. Positive: I have had two really amazing bridal showers. Positive: I love teaching music with Molly! Positive: I love Jesse. Positive: I love watching M. Night Shymalan movies. ;-) Positive: God and I. That's awesome.

mysteries and great joy

Today. Tuesday. May 31st, 2011. 25 years.

25 years of laughter, joy, sadness, struggling, growing. I sit here with my computer resting on my lap thinking, "It has been worth every moment."

I have learned some hard lessons in the past few years. The joy in my life was hard to find. So many times I just felt empty. There was one thing that I knew, however. I clung to it. I could find joy through it.

God loves me. God loves me. God loves me.

These past few months, I have realized some truths around that love.
1: God also uses joy and peace in our hearts to draw us closer to Him.
2: I don't have to be afraid that I'm going to have to pay for the joy with the equivalent of sadness.
3: Love is a mystery. I don't understand the way I feel about Jesse. I don't understand the way he feels about me. There is no explanation for us. It truly is a mystery and a gift from God.
4: In the same way, there is a mystery to God. Knowing this has helped with my search for peace. I am able to rest more content in Him than I have in years.

Yes. I am brimming with joy and thankfulness. Thank you, Lord. Thank you.
And thank you all, my dear friends and readers. May God also bless you this coming  year. :hugs:

Good Morning!

It would seem that females do enjoy talking about weddings! :-) I have been greatly enjoying reading all of your comments!! Unfortunately, I have been reading and running. My life has been insanely busy the past few days... However, tonight I'm hoping to write a longer post discussing the whys and wherefores of the wedding party, the creator of the outfits/wedding dress and other details like wedding photographer and looking for housing. So, if there is anything you would really like to know, ask and I shall do my best to answer. :-) Or, if there is anything you would like to advise me in, feel free!

Btw, I just wanted to say, all of your advice, opinions and friendly admonitions have been listened to, considered and generally appreciated.

Now. Off to make my lunch and eat my breakfast. Work calls. :-)

My Sense of Humor

A friend sent me this list and some of it really made me laugh this morning. I hope you find some humor in it too! More seriously, I hope that it will cause you to think. So much of what we believe is not Truth (and it doesn't matter if you're a Fundamental Baptist or not). I realized quite suddenly this morning how much of this list is still me. I can so quickly judge others. I can so quickly make excuses.

But I also see how far God has brought me. How each step has been made for a purpose... and that is why I can't stop chuckling over some of this.

For the record, if this list offends you, my sincere apologies. I mean to mock no one but myself!

The List So Far -- by Darrell from http://www.stufffundieslike.com/

1. I am right and you are wrong. Always.
2. Unity Means Agreeing With Me That My Pastor Is Right.
3. The less certain something is, the more certain you must appear to be about it.
4. If you cannot win an argument with logic you must simply outlast your opponent. Once he gives up, declare victory.
5. There is no fight that is not worth fighting.
6. The less fun it is the godlier it must be.
7. Women’s primary purpose is to serve as a temptation to men. They are also somewhat useful for housework.
8. All God’s people shall say “amen.” This is never an inappropriate response.
9. If it is new it is bad. If it is old it is good. (with the exception that if it is really, really old then it is likely to be Catholic)
10. There is no situation that a good dose of ministerial yelling can’t fix.
11. Old Testament rules about sex, tattoos, women in pants, and the death penalty still apply. Old Testament rules about lobster don’t. (That is why we call this the Age of Grace)
12. Invitations shall continue until the Spirit is satisfied that enough people have come to the altar as revealed to the pastor. The Spirit shall be extra hard to satisfy on any Superbowl Sunday.
13. ON THE INTERNET, BIBLICAL TRUTH IS BEST COMMUNICATED VIA CAPSLOCK
14. Mormons are considered to be Christians for the following purposes:
a) National Elections
b) Political Talk Shows
c) Songs for God and Country Sunday
15. Neither this nor any other list of rules can be considered exhaustive; a majority shall always be unspoken, arbitrary, and subject to change at the whim of the authority.
16. It’s much better to have an innocent person die than to tell a lie to a Nazi.
17. A man is to be as much of a leader of his own house as his pastor will let him be.
18. Thou shalt not speak out against other fundamentalists on any subject that really matters. Keep disputes as trivial as possible lest you risk having your own dirty laundry exposed.
19. Spare the rod and spoil the child. (A “rod” being defined as a paddle, stick, belt, spatula, wooden spoon, rubber hose, truncheon, flail, or anything else that happens to be handy)
20. A man may not wear glasses connected by a chain for if they should slip off his nose and dangle about his neck, someone may be made to think that he is wearing a necklace and that is the appearance of evil.
21. Pastors should preach as frequently as possible on sin — preferably the sins of other people
22. Gays are responsible for pretty much every bad thing that happens in America. Africans are responsible for the rest.
23. We reject the authority of the Pope to speak ex cathedra on matters of doctrine. That’s what local church pastors are for.
24. We believe in individual soul liberty — although we’ve never seen a good reason for anybody to actually use it.
25. Dancing is an abomination unless it takes place in a classic film or on the stage of a Gilbert & Sullivan musical at a fundamentalist college.
26. The joy, joy, joy, joy must reside down in your heart. (Where? down in your heart!)
27. In movies sex is bad but violence is fine. (The Bible contains both but we’d rather you didn’t mention it)
28. Prayers must be said before all meals, ball games, and road trips. As long as you’re not using the Lord’s Prayer this is not considered vain repetition.
29. When swimming, a woman shall wear enough layers of clothing to double her weight when immersed.
30. A Christian taking government aid is a sure sign they are not trusting God. (Not that our church is going to start paying its employees enough to live on, mind you. )
31. If you send your child to public school you may as well brand 666 on their forehead and get it over with. No child can emerge from that den of liberalism anything other than a Gay Satanist Democrat.
32. There are not two sides to every story. There is only the truth and the lies made up by those liberal compromisers who Satan is using to attack our ministry.
33. We deny the mysticism of the Catholics and the signs and wonders of the charismatics. We do, however, have a litany of strange coincidences to get us totally stoked.
34. When a pastor gets caught doing wrong his job is to deny, deny, deny. Your job is to back him up to the bitter end.
35. “Fellowship” = “Food”
36. In a business meeting all in favor of the pastor’s motion shall signify by saying “aye.” All opposed shall shut up if they know what’s good for them.
37.If there’s hair touching your ears, there’s sin in your heart.
38. Anything that annoys the pastor annoys Jesus too.
39. Any church members who is not “here and in their place” during special meetings will be punished by being used as a sermon illustration.
40. Nobody is allowed to criticize our ministry unless they have gone out and built a ministry of equal size. (Then we’ll ignore them because they’re liberal)
41. Microphone feedback during a sermon is a sure sign of satanic attack against the preacher.
42. The truth shall not be allowed to get in the way of any good sermon illustration.
43. Any growth in our church is a sure sign of God’s blessing on our ceaseless soul winning efforts. Any growth in your church is due to seeker sensitive gimmicks and soft preaching on sin.
44. Alcohol is allowed in your home if 1. It is hidden in cough syrup 2. You pretend not to like it 3. You consume no more than 4 bottles a week.
45. Context? Our proof texts don’t need no stinkin’ context!
46. The moving picture house is a bastion of wickedness. Watching the same (G Rated) movies at home is just fine.
47. If you can’t find a Scripture verse that proves your point, substitute a quote from another fundamentalist instead. It’s practically as good.
48. The only proper color for a man’s Bible is black. Men who choose any other color are likely to be the sort who also part their hair in the middle and enjoy cooking a little too much.
49. Every date is a potential mate. Not that we’re trying to put pressure on you or anything.
50. As much as we dislike Muslims, we do admire the way they keep their women in line.
51. Bad things that happen to me and mine are persecution and attacks of Satan. Bad things that happen to you and yours are God’s judgment for your sinful ways.
52. The King James version was written to bring the Bible into the language of the common man of the 1600′s. If today’s common man can’t understand it that’s his own stupid fault.
53. Adding even one word Bible is sacrilege of the worst kind. Unless, of course, your pastor told you to write it in the margin. Then it’s all good.
54. When you really want to be taken seriously, use lots of Comic Sans. This goes double for your church website.
55. The fact that toddlers will instinctively dance to music with a beat is evidence of their Adamic nature.
56. Rock music is perfectly acceptable to play in church so long as the person doing it is an evangelist who is demonstrating exactly how wrong it is to play rock music in church.
57. All families must have as many children as physically possible. This will only lead to economic hardship if you lack sufficient faith.
58. Halloween is a demonic holiday wherein people dress up in costumes and beg for candy on the 31st of October. Harvest Festival is a God-honoring event wherein people dress up in costumes and beg for candy (by complete coincidence) also on the 31st of October.
59. While we believe that no good Christian should ever go to a godless, atheist, state-run university, that does not stop us from proudly rooting for their godless, atheist football team.
60. Gluttony is barely a sin and only worth mentioning from the pulpit in the context of a joke.
61. Always assume your fellow fundamentalists have the best possible motives for their actions. Always assume everyone else has the worst possible motives for theirs.
62. You talking about my church’s scandal is gossip and backbiting. Me talking about your church’s scandal is instruction and warning.
63. Body piercings, tattoos, and unnatural hair colors are counter-cultural and therefore evil. Culottes and arranged marriages are counter-cultural and therefore required.
64. If something is unfamiliar or difficult to understand, it’s best to take a stand against it by default. Reasons can be invented later.
65. Anything that becomes popular with more than 70% of fundamentalists must both be made obligatory and used as a test of fellowship.
66. The only emotions allowed to be displayed in a church service are anger, guilt, and sorrow. All others are likely to be caused by latent charismatic tendencies.
67. Not only is privacy not a right, it’s strongly discouraged. The only people who have the right to keep secrets are the pastor and his mistress.

The Details

One afternoon, I suddenly had this urge to look at rings via the internet.

Coincidence 1: That evening, I was on the phone with Jesse and he mentioned he had been looking at something on the internet.

I said, "That's funny. So have I."

As it turned out, our brains had been working on the same wave length. As usual. ;-)

And, as usual (again) we simply found nothing in the conventional department that fit what we were looking for. At all.

Coincidence 2: That very day, my friend E. had written a humorous post about wedding rings and had posted pictures of hers. I liked them. A lot. She said her hubby had gotten them off of Etsy.

(http://www.mildlyamusingmusings.com/2011/01/of-wedding-rings-and-er-visits.html)

So, Jesse and I went to Etsy.com and simply reveled the creativity we saw.

Coincidence 3: at the same moment in time, we both said, "Oh, you've got to look at Page 8, 3rd row from the bottom!" We saw the ring at the same time from different computers, while on the phone. :-) It was a nice ring. It wasn't terribly expensive. We both liked it. Really liked it.

Coincidence 4: The ring had just been posted that very day in the person's Etsy store.

Coincidence 5: I don't believe in coincidences. :-) (I believe in Providence. God. He has been working miracles through this entire relationship; from our first meeting to our friendship to our romance to the rest of our lives. :-))

Jesse decided to order it.

Then came the time of waiting. Jesse said that I knew about the ring but I didn't know how or when I was going to get it. I told Jesse how much I loved the element of surprise. He took me up on it.

Fast forward to January 31st, 2011. Jesse was picking me up to go spend the night at his parents' place because my bed was being occupied by musicians. I put my stuff on the table and went to quickly make use of the washroom. When I came back, I put on my scarf, my coat and my shoes. Then, I started to put on my gloves.

(I love my gloves. They were a Christmas present from one of my piano students (along with a box of chocolates! So thoughtful of her) ... they're black and really cozy. They also fit me perfectly, which is a blessing since gloves rarely fit well with my short, little fingers.)

Anyways. I'm trying to get my gloves on and my finger wouldn't go in one of the fingers. I was a little distracted because I was making Jesse wait and I don't like making Jesse wait, so I mumbled something about, "What in the world?" while pulling out this beautiful black velvet bag. I glanced at my patient boyfriend, puzzled, but he had the most innocent expression on his face. In other words, his face said that he had no more clue about the bag than I did. I think I might have set it down on the table and just continued getting dressed if I wasn't such a sucker for velvet. Lol! I love how it feels.. and this bag was so cute and pretty. I just had to feel it. It never even registered what this all might mean until I suddenly felt a ring through the velvet. Jesse said my mouth dropped open. I think I said, "Oh my goodness..."

Jesse took the bag out of my fingers and pulled out the ring that was so much more beautiful in real life than it was in the pictures... and said, "Naomi, will you marry me?"

I said, "Yes."

He put the ring on my finger and kissed my hand.

I love Jesse. I love my fiancée. I love my future husband.
(They're all the same person.) (Yay!)

(Forgive the slight insanity of this post. I get giddy when I'm reallllyyyy excited.) (I'm reallllyyyyy excited.)

I am so thankful. :-)

Time Out From Happiness

I've been thinking about being sad. I've been thinking about guilt. I've been thinking about judging.

And my conclusion is...? That I have a lot more thinking to do. Haha. Well, one thought did cross my brain: I know for sure that there were moments Jesus felt emotions other than happiness.

Thoughts?

Just For the Record

I love Saskatchewan. I love it from the flat plains to the steep hills. I love it from the rivers to the sloughs. I love it from the cute but annoying gophers and the horrendous province bird of the mosquito. I love it from the colorful Ukrainian and Hungarian and Swedish down home folks to the people who wish they were. I love it from the fiddle music that touches my soul to the sound of the accordion that should not be amplified in small spaces. (Word of warning: do not tell anti-accordion jokes.) I love it from the winds that are too strong to the stillness that takes captive my mind. I love it from the old ways being practiced to the new that are slowly creeping in. I love it from the Rider fans that seem to be everywhere to the hockey in which people try to murder each other. (Another word of wisdom: rooms can get really silent if you admit not being into sports.) I love it from the traditional food (perogies and sausage, here I come) to the non-traditional never being heard of (our neighbor asked what salsa was). I love from small towns to the farms to everything being a little backwards and fifty years behind.

But I mostly love it because I have found home here. I have found a spot to rest my soul and grow.

Perhaps God will call me to somewhere else, some day... but for now, I am so glad to be here.