20 Months -- To Be Loved

All my life, I was told that I was too stubborn, too rebellious and too opinionated. This convinced me that, despite my dearest dreams, I would never find my soul mate because no human being would be able to put up with me.

Little did I suspect that there was a beautiful soul who not only appreciates but encourages my independent spirit. 

Jesse, thank you for loving me for who I am and for never failing to encourage me to improve myself. Thank you for needing me. Thank you for being so pure of spirit and soul. You are the most wonderful human being  I have ever met and I get to spend my life with you.

20 months!! Married life is gooooood!!!!!

Things I Love About Being Married

They warn dourly that life doesn't end when you get married. Marriage isn't the end all, be all, they mutter. Just wait and see after a few months and years of marriage, then you'll understand. Wait until the first argument. Wait until you're tired of being married....

We love cynical peoples. Let's face it, we've got at least one in each of our share of relatives. And you know what makes them so hard to disprove? Every word they say has a little bit of truth to it. So, let me rephrase this:

Thank God life didn't end when we got married: I am enjoying myself too much. Thank God marriage isn't the end all, be all: I would shrivel up and die if I stopped being a growing, unique individual. Thank God that after a year of marriage, I can clearly see and rejoice that I did marry the man God prepared me for. Thank God that I realize marriage is not easy: who would have thought any part of life is all ease and grace? And about those arguments... well, read on.

Someone asked the other day, "What Do you Love Best About Being Married." There were many good answers and I decided it would make a good blog post. :-) This isn't me bragging about my wonderful life: I have problems too. But most of the days in my life, I can choose to look at the positive aspects of my existence. For us, this union has been mind blowing and we have never been happier. My goal for this blog post is to send a positive message about marriage into cyberspace.

For those currently unattached: It is possible to find an imperfect person who is perfect for you because you are an imperfect person who will be perfect for someone.Wait. Pray that you will know when the time comes. Until then, be whole as you are.  Be perfect for you, today. Love who you are. Revel in the good you can be in the world. Fling joy into the universe with the discovery of the possibilities of you.

For those Married, happily or not: As you know, there is no 1-2-3 step plan for happiness. Can you be happy? Yes. If you are happy, can you tell me why? If you're not happy, can you tell me why? What is the greatest lesson you have learned through marriage. Are you cynical? Or do you believe in true love? Why?

Things I Love About Being Married

Companionship: never feeling alone. Before I met Jesse, there never seemed to be anyone who "got" me. I have a strange sense of humor, interests and passions, needs and desires. When I met Jesse, I was astonished to find that someone actually laughed at my jokes. I didn't feel awkward around him. He understands. He accepts me and furthermore, he's my best friend.

Being Loved. When I lose my temper, cry, laugh, scold, praise, talk, fail, succeed or any other thing, I can do so without the fear of being judged. Before we met, I was not sure I wanted to enter a relationship. I had seen so many failed or unhappy marriages. I had seen so many people use, hurt or manipulate their spouse. My fear was that I would marry someone and be stuck forever in an unhappy relationship. I have never been loved unconditionally by a human. I knew God loved me unconditionally, but I didn't understand it until I felt Jesse's love. There are moments when I feel my heart burst in joy because this love is boundless, incomprehensible, faithful and everlasting.

I can be myself. This fits with the above category, but I wanted to explain more specifically: I never felt the freedom to be myself completely. It didn't matter that I had friends who appreciated me. The fact of the matter is: I wasn't comfortable in my own skin. Jesse is un-apologetically himself. When we were first friends, I remember a moment when I realized with certainty that it was ok to enjoy movies, books and stories as much as I do. In fact, it was perfectly fine to have a passion for things that I have a passion for. It was more than ok: I needed to embrace these things in myself because I am unique. Unique is the way God created me. Each day, I revel in this. It was a long time in coming.

Learning Every Day. It's ok to be wrong. It's fine to change your mind. It's a good thing to challenge your opinions and beliefs. We learn about each other; we learn about others; we learn about Eternity; we learn about Truth. We learn about sharing the bed, the shower, the kitchen... we learn about giving each other space, we learn about it being ok to go to the other person if we have an issue or simply need a shoulder to cry on. We learn to communicate and share freely. Even as well as we know each other, each day brings a new delight, a new joy. Oh yes, I married an imperfect man who lives his life gently, kindly, respectfully, lovingly. Each day brings new realizations of this. Learning and growth do not happen all at once; if it did, our human minds would expire. So, God allows us to learn as we live: one day at a time.

Understanding God. When I met Jesse, I caught a glimpse of God's love. The longer I know him, the more godliness I see in him. He loves me as the Bible says Christ loves the Church. Through this, I see Christ's love so clearly now. Jesse loves me unconditionally, freely, passionately. His heart is always towards me, even (especially?) when I do not "deserve it". There will be times when I am apologizing for some wrong I did him and he will simply hug me and whisper, "You make me so happy," while brushing away my regrets. He sees no reason for me to apologize or feel guilt. This love enables me to step out of my faults and seek truer paths. I have never felt a better understanding of my God, Eternity and Truth.
If only more husbands would love their wives as Christ loves his Bride. If only religion and self interest would not raise their ugly heads. If only people would step away from themselves and seek only better things for others...

When We Are Sick.  There were days when I used to get a cold and I banished myself to a room with a roll of toilet paper, a glass of water and a book... and closed the door. Now, there is Jesse with water, broth, food, hugs and kisses and holding my hand. I almost like being sick. Lol. The same goes for when he's the one under the weather. I hover over him, feed him, make sure he's warm...  It makes those "in sickness and in health" vows really come to life.

Cuddling. Yes, I have discovered that when it comes to us, cuddling is the greatest thing on earth. I never liked cuddling except if it involved a sibling and even then, I preferred having my space. But Jesse seems to have broken most of the rules in my rule book. :-) Now, I cuddle, share a glass, play footsie, flirt outrageously and only God knows what else...

Forgiveness. This could fall into almost any of the other categories, but forgiveness deserves one to itself. As individuals, both of us had to learn about forgiving others. People in both of our lives have hurt us in the past. By the time we had met, we were at a point where each of us realized the need to accept and love others. Yes, regardless of the pains and frustrations they cause us. :-) This love requires forgiveness. Jesse and I are far from perfection. We both have our moments. But even in these, we are able to stop and look at each other. Forgiveness is a proactive. I am thankful the many hard lessons learned before our paths converged. This was no accident.

Deciding What to Make for Supper. Yes, 'tis a difficult decision; not one to be taken lightly. We could have leftovers or I could make something new. We could have soup, burritos, roasted chicken, hamburgers, clam chowder, salmon, pizza... the list goes on. Should we have something sweet to drink or is water just fine? And what about salad and dessert? The amount of responsibility is rather amazing when it comes to meals. But oh-so-fun... How great is it to be able to look in my cupboards and decide what to make? So many endless possibilities! Jesse loves a good cake, so some days I will surprise him by having a cake on the table when he gets home from work.
Here's another thing that amazes me: Jesse loves working in the kitchen. So if I end up working Saturday and he is at home, he'll make food. Good food. His honey mustard salmon recipe is amazing. Oh dear... I'm drooling.

Watching T.V. Together. Nearly every night, we watch shows or movies. The creation of stories is a passion we share. Before we met, we pursued it on our own and now that we are together, the paths converge and we are enjoying ourselves a great deal. :-) A story that is well written can be about anything and we will find enjoyment in it. I was more a fantasy girl but Jesse has introduced me to science fiction... and we both love detective/crime shows. The list of shows and movies we watch is ever growing and ridiculous. Lol. Some of our favorites are: Grimm, Person of Interest, Big Bang Theory, Red, Touch, Once Upon A Time, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, Pirates of the Caribbean, Tintin, Sherlock, The New Normal, Star Trek, West Wing... I could be here all day.

Arguing. Finally, we get to it. No, it doesn't happen very often. The first time we had a disagreement, I felt horrible about it. I apologized for days. However, over the course of the past months, we have come to the realization that arguments and differences in opinion are actually good things. They keep our relationship interesting. We still don't like to argue but we are now able to step back and look at the argument and each other from a different perspective. Have you ever met a couple who didn't argue? I have. It usually means that one person in the relationship is very dominate. The dominate person will tell the other person what to do, what to think, what to wear, etc. Usually, it's much easier for the non-dominate person to not think as thinking can be painful. Healthy relationships are based on equality. Both parties must use their ability to think and make decisions. When Jesse and I disagree because we are both strong people with opinions. But what makes these arguments so good is that we're willing to let someone or something prove our opinions wrong. May we never get set in our ways! is our motto. Truth does not allow for minds that won't be changed.

Submission. I hated this word. In fact, there are moments when I still loathe it. People defile it, making it into something ugly and sinful. They demand it, manipulate it, revel in it. I was very leery of relationship for this reason. What I did not realize was how beautiful submission can be. Yes, it does mean giving up one's will. Yet, when submitting to someone you respect and cherish, submission also means retaining your will. I submit to Jesse because I want to. Jesse submits to me because he wants to. We are equals. We do not demand it of each other; we submit freely. We have learned that submission from both is necessary for any healthy relationship. Just as Christ submitted himself to us so that we might have a relationship with him, so must we submit ourselves to him. True, biblical submission involves purity of heart and soul.

Being Involved in Theatre Together. Taking Walks Together. Holding Hands. Laughing Together. Talking to People Together. Encouraging Each Other. Hating Raisins Together.

Thanking God for Each Other.

This turned into a longer post than I had intended. :-) I am just purely grateful for Jesse and how healing he has been for me. I have grown and changed so much because of him. His heart is mine and mine is his. Our life together has been beyond my wildest dreams. I love who he is. I love who I am.

Take heart. Joy cometh in the morning.

1 Year

Jesse and Naomi Twietmeyer

September 10th, 2011

it's been a good year

8 Months Ago...

It seems like yesterday... but also as though we've been together forever. 

Thank you, Lord.

Excuses... excuses

Once upon a time 

there was a girl who decided

 she wasn't busy enough

 and took on more work. 

She works at the Pharmasave, she works at home, she works at the theatre and she also bakes cookies. She has no time for things like writing blog posts or keeping up online or writing letters or scrapbooking or practicing the piano.

To top everything off, her beautiful sister

 decided to get married

at the beginningof June 

and wedding planning was added to the mix. 

So, the authoress doesn't mean to be rude by not updating about her life. It's merely a matter of being really, really, really, really busy. 

(P.S. She still has time for Jesse.)

(And Snow.)

General Awesomeness

Today I am thankful. There is so much in my life that makes my heart glad. To be honest, I had my "complaining" days lately. During the past week... well, let's just leave it at: I am not a good sick person. :-) However, being a fair-weather person is not something I like to be and when Tuesday rolled around with me feeling like a walking skeleton, I decided to begin a "What I am Thankful For" post; because there are so many reasons to be thankful for in any state of being. This is the completion of that post. It took awhile to evolve. :-)  

I am thankful for God. He is magnificent. He never ends. There is always More of him. He forces me to think for myself and to become a stronger, deeper person. As each day passes, I find myself more entwined with his presence and the excellence of his spirit. In some ways, it is the easiest thing in the world; it also can be incredibly difficult to cast away my fears and embrace Love. But I know that nothing is impossible. There is so much to say about God but I think I will leave it at that.

I am thankful for Jesse. When we first began our relationship, I feared that our love for each other was only a passing fancy. It didn't feel like a passing fancy but how can you know? I learned very quickly that a relationship can only move forward if each has complete faith in the other. Jesse has proven himself in every way possible. He is not perfect but he is perfect for me... and guess what? He says the same about me. Our love grows stronger, deeper, fuller each day. When Jesse asked if we could date, he told me that he felt our meeting and getting to know each other was no accident: we were meant to be together. I believe this with all my heart: God hand-picked us for each other.

I am thankful for our house: it's old; it's meandering; it's home. The kitchen is over a century. Someone who has lived in our neighborhood for 40 years came into the store the other day and I asked him when the renovations took place. He thought for awhile, then he said that they took about 20 - 30 years to complete. I can see why. They are extensive. I love everything about our house... well, minus the leaks in the bedroom and office. Lol. I've been awakened by water dripping on my hand.

I am thankful for my jobs: piano/voice teacher and part-time receptionist at the local Pharmasave. My studio is here at home. I teach 15 students, three days a week. They are the light of my life and the balm of my soul. I love their imperfections, their joys and griefs... I love how each week brings a new challenge in teaching them. I help them and they help me. All of us have become better musicians... not just them. :-) Teaching music and voice has definitely been the most difficult task I have ever undertaken. I think about my students constantly. I plan lessons. I send kids to festival. I advise them to attend The Kenosee Lake Kitchen Party. I study instruction books to see which ones I like or dislike. But it isn't the teaching that is the hardest part. The hardest part is getting to know my students: I care and I get involved. They are all my friends. I respect them and they respect me. It's exhausting but it's the most rewarding, beautiful thing I have ever been involved in. :-)

Pharmasave has been a really great experience. Plus: I have the best bosses, managers and co-workers. Plus: I have learned so much. Downside: standing on concrete for 8 hours a day kills my knees, back, neck, etc, etc. Plus: I really hope to be working there for a few years (or until our kids come along).
 Pharmasave has actually become a second home to me and my coworkers have become second family. They are all like sisters. We vary greatly, we have different problems and we handle our different problems in different ways. But we all have the same goals. I suppose I could admit to Pharmasave being a bit of an exclusive club: if you're really lucky, you get in. ;-) (Actually, if you're a pleasant person who isn't afraid of hard work, we'd probably allow you a membership!)

I am thankful for good health: this morning, I woke up feeling... good. I've been sick for two weeks. Not the kind of sick that has you laying in bed (though there were a few days of that) but the kind of sick that you notice. Lack of energy, headaches, diarrhea, dehydration, etc., etc. The great thing about being sick is how much you enjoy being well afterwards. Lol. Today is one of those days. It's like, "YES! I can teach 7 students today. Bring 'em on!" I am eating healthy and taking walks and drinking lots of water and cranberry juice... ahhh. :-)

Between these things and every small circumstance that makes up my life, I am awesome. God is awesome. The cat is awesome. (Some days.) (I shall write more about him later.)

Life. I shall enjoy it while I have it. :-)

March 22nd -- neighborhood

Actually, where we live, it's spelled with a 'u', like so: "neighbourhood". Just saying. :)

In the winning picture, you see our neighbours' cabins and part of our driveway. You can just barely see our house. It's the brown one... almost in the middle of the picture.

To be honest, I was worried about the picture today. Our neighbourhood is beautiful, rugged and unique. There are so many things I love about where we live. How was I ever supposed to group them together in a single shot? 

As it turns out, we spent over half an hour and 46 pictures looking for it. The lake is slowly melting in the warmth and the wind is drying up the mud. Jesse is feeling better and the cat isn't complaining as much about being outside. :) 

All in all, it made for a beautiful walk. I have such contentment right now!

The bright sunlight, rippled clouds and distant sound of the drums of the powwow have set the mood of the idyllic [belated] ides of March. 

March 10th -- Something That Sparkles

I must admit to feeling a little disgruntled about this picture. There is a slough on the side of our house and when the sun shines on it, it's gorgeous. But by the time I got home from work this evening, the sun was already sinking beneath the hills and the slough looked as despondent as the one depicted in Pilgrim's Progress.

After looking around the house, I realized the only thing that really sparkled were our stainless pots and pans we received as a wedding gift from the Weatherl side of family... and my ring. The ring won. :-)

Jesse and I both love our ring. He gave it to me on January 31st, 2011, after he proposed to me and I was like, "Yes! Yes!" It still makes me excited thinking about it!

For those wondering: Champagne diamond and reclaimed silver.

Today, Jesse and I have been married for 6 months. I love every minute we spend in each other's presence. He is everything I prayed for. 

Even though this picture is not what I wanted for today, I must say, it is very fitting. Oh such reasons for celebration!

March 5th -- Something You Love

Something I love? Us. 

Jesse and Naomi Twietmeyer.

Mr. and Mrs. 

The talking.

The laughter.
Etc., etc., etc. ;-)

Everything about us.

Smile

Lives Lived

Place: Regina, Saskatchewan
Date: a couple days after September 10th.
Occasion: Honeymoon/after wedding celebration

Naomi had made reservations at a certain Regina Chateau for the night. Newlyweds had spent the day on the road since they had taken the ridiculous detour of going up to Endeavour first (saying goodbye to grandparents who were staying at N's parents' place before heading back to WA), then heading back down to Regina.

After a movie and sushi it was dark and they decided it was time to seek out their night's lodgings. Amusingly enough, they had never seen the hotel in real life. Naomi had just found it on the internet and they thought it sounded nice. They weren't really having a "honeymoon" anyways so they decided it might be nice to splurge and do something out of the ordinary.

Jesse was driving so Naomi was doing the navigating. She read the address from her notes and they proceeded to that section of the city. The closer they got to their destination, the more confused the couple felt. This was a very odd neighborhood for a nice facility like Regina Chateau... at least as it had been advertised as.

When they reached the place the street numbers matched those on her notes, the street lights were few and far between. People moved in the shadows or simply stood and watched them. It was getting rather nerve wracking. Finally Jesse slowed the car.

"1108... 1109... 1110." They stared in disbelief. On either side of 1110 Victoria Avenue were dumpy little houses, the typical 50's and 60's fair. But 1110 Victoria Ave was... an empty lot.

Being the kids at heart that they are, the two couldn't stop laughing for about five minutes. They didn't know if they had been scammed or if Naomi had written down the wrong address but it was hilarious.

Thankfully, Jesse always keeps a Regina phone book in the car so they pulled that out and looked for the Regina Chateau's listing. As it turns out, Naomi had copied down the address but had accidentally made an omission. The Chateau's proper address reads:

1110 Victoria Ave E.

Naomi had missed the E. part of it. Just one small mistake had led the couple completely astray. They haven't stopped laughing about this incident yet. Adventures of this type seem to befall them on all sides... like the first time Jesse and Naomi cooked together (he was courting and she was trying to engage his attention elsewhere than her by making him help her make supper) (it didn't work) and Naomi managed to accidentally pour all of Michelle's garlic powder in the soup and it boiled all over the stove. Or the time Jesse exploded the plate in our new kitchen, making everyone holler. Or the time they started on their trip an hour early so they would be on time for the orthodontist appointment (four hour drive one way) and they got stuck in construction.

Happily, I can tell you that Jesse and Naomi Twietmeyer discovered that The Regina Chateau does actually exist and is a wonderful place to stay. The beds are comfortable... so many pillows! Real sheets and blankets. And the hot water in the showers never runs out. Best of all, the rooms are clean and comfortable. It was the most comfortable hotel they had ever stayed in.

The End. (Until the Twietmeyers have further adventures of course.)

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards. -- Soren Kierkegaard


Funny how a certain phrasing of words and the spirit of it uttered will catch my attention. The theory of this quote I agree with. The spirit of Soren Keirkegaard may be one of regret and wishing they could change the actions of the past. Of course, this emotion could merely be an echo of the music I am listening to ("Don't Break the Heart That Loves You" by Connie Francis). ;-)

Yes, the above story really happened. If you knew Jesse and me, you wouldn't have to ask the question. :-) I look back on this incident and can't help but smile. I am so thankful for every adventure, every moment spent together. Sometimes we feel so happy so that it seems it's impossible. I look back on the happiness which has enveloped us the past year and I still don't understand why I have been given this. I feel breathless.

There is so much about my past that I do not understand. The happy times and the not so happy times. The hurt and the agonizing, fierce agony. The times I felt I was leaping ahead and growing and the struggles to take a single step, feeling like it would be easier to die than to try to live. Was some of it really necessary? Though the healing is working in me, sometimes the pain of memories still threatens to overwhelm me. Then I know with every ounce of my being that, had it not been for my past, I would not have the strength or understanding I have today. I try to weigh between the pain of knowledge and the strength of character. Then I realize it doesn't work that way. If I had my choice, I wouldn't choose the pain.

Maybe. I mean, if I had known everything, I would have seen the wonderful closeness of my Creator. That I wouldn't trade, even in the face of great suffering. Perhaps I would have had the wisdom. But this is all speculation with no basis in fact. I am so glad that I cannot see into the future. This is a life being lived in the faith and strength of love because there is no other way of really living.

That doesn't mean fear and pain don't come to call but their visits are less frequent. I can't explain to you how happy I am. I can't explain the depth of my gratitude to God for bringing Jesse and me together. I am praying for many years together... for the grace to make each passing day better and more filled with love than the last.

Life is not without it's ups and downs. I know this. But when you are with your soul mate, your partner who excepts and loves you unconditionally... the bad times are much more bearable and the good times are better.

I love you, Jesse.

Thanks, God. 

Discovery

Funny how you can know a person so well and find out something about them you didn't know.

Setting: Jesse and Naomi in grocery store carrying basket half filled with groceries. Jesse reads things off of list in hand while Naomi grabs them off shelves.

"Cream of wheat..." Jesse reads.
"It's my favorite hot cereal," Naomi replies.
"Yeah, it's my favorite too," Jesse says.
"No way!"

As it turns out, we prefer it above oatmeal, cracked wheat, corn meal mush or just about any other hot cereal. Life is good. :-)

Treasuries of Joy

To my husband:  All the rivers run into the sea, Yet the sea is not full... 

Ecclesiastes 1:7

My love, may you never stop seeking for Truth. May you always search. May your heart yearn for greater understanding.

To my sisters and brothers: I love you.

To life: Be truthful, nature only sides with Truth. -- Adolf Loos


You have thrown and landed some vicious blows but you didn't know something that God did. When you tried to crush me, I found strength. When you left me for dead, Something breathed life into me. When you pumped me full of bitterness, somehow Love crept in through the cracks. There was Truth... I could pull the plug on hate.  

To Marriage: Happiness is like a kiss: you have to share it to enjoy it. -- Bernard Meltzer


All the waiting, the uncertainty, the frustration... yes. But worth it. Worth every lonely night, every longing for someone's arms, each moment aching for true love, all the battles with doubt. Yes! Worth it. I cannot express my gratitude. 

To The Flu I Have Right Now: God employs several translators; some pieces are translated by age, some by sickness, some by war, some by justice.  -- John Donnes

Sometimes it's so hard to look past when we're not feeling well or are in an impossible situation. The light is there, though. It might be faint or impossible to see but it's there. Let it strengthen you for better things.

To God: But I will hope continually, and will yet praise thee more and more. Psalm 71:14 

I do hope continually. Fear is my greatest fault. I want to live my life in joy without bowing to anxiety. Slowly, I learn. Always, I hope.

Beauty ... Life ...

There are moments in the days when one of us will have a moment. We will stop all movement and our faces will take on a curious blank expression, as though the entire world has ceased to exist. Then a sudden squeal erupts: "We're married!"

Yes indeed. :-)

Life since September 10th has been all we expected and more. Being with my best friend in the world all the time has been awesome. I love growing together -- mentally, spiritually, physically. It is the best feeling in the world. How much of this joy comes from the knowledge that God has brought us together? That He shaped us, guided us, worked through our lives until we were ready for each other? That our union was His good will? That each step of the path we felt His love and assurance?

When I prayed for a husband I prayed that when the right man came along, I would know. No doubts. No wonderings. I had had crushes on guys before. I had even thought I was in love. But I had never had assurance that these other potential men were God's will. When I met Jesse, it was so much different than I thought the real romance would be like. It is like a fairy tale with high emotion, trembling knees and  that assurance but it was also harder and more emotionally exhausting than I thought anything could be. But among everything else, there was one thing I knew for sure: Jesse was the one. He was handpicked for me by God.  My good friend Gisele, married 15 years, 3 kids and still madly in love with her husband, told me something last year. She said, "When you meet the right one, life is so easy." I have found this sentiment to be very true. Somehow, life's difficulties seemed halved when you are sharing them with that someone.

I just want to encourage you girls to pray. Don't decide to get married just for the sake of getting married. Pray that you will know. Pray for someone you can help and for someone who can help you. Relationships are funny things. They're not worth it if they are with the wrong person but they are more than worth it when they are with the right person.

So, part of getting to know your new spouse is going shopping together. There were certain things I really needed before the teaching season started next month... and we wanted to have a little bit of a special honeymoon. So, we went to Regina and spent a couple days there. One of the bigger purchases we made included cellphones for each of us. Jesse had had one for a couple years but I had never had one. It never appealed to me to have one and I put it off as long as I could. However, we don't have a land line so it became a necessity. Especially for the teaching. Anyways, I am enjoying having one. I have been able to contact people efficiently and get the information needed.

God provided some much needed funds and we are in the process of getting the house renovated before the winter hits. Yesterday morning at about 8:30, the buzzing of Jesse's cellphone woke us. My father-in-law called saying that he had tried to get the backhoe for Saturday (today) but he hadn't been able to. In fact, he had gotten one that was going to arrive in an hour (yesterday!). Needless to say Jesse and I got outside in a hurry. There was quite a bit of stuff to get out of the way so the backhoe operator could do his job and a small window of time to do it in. We didn't quite finish (ripping up the last section of deck was the killer) but everyone understood. Thankfully. :-) Anyways, he was here for 8 hours and we have a really deep hole right in front of our front door. Jesse and his Dad went into town this morning to pick up supplies for pouring the concrete slab and to build the walls of the new basement. It will be sooo nice to have the porch on the house. ::happy sigh::

The sooner they can get it done, the better. We have no drainage right now. That means no indoor plumbing. But all is not lost! We live right next to a gorge of sorts and my mother-in-law discovered that if you walk down past our shed, there is an outhouse that is functioning. There are bird droppings on the seat but it's actually not bad. :-) My biggest gripe about it is having to use it in the dark. Blah. But, as Jesse pointed out, I am a farm girl and we do not live in a country, like Australia (where he is from) in which there dwells deadly poisonous snakes, bugs and other delightful creatures who like to hide in the outdoor toilets... So buck up, Mrs. Twietmeyer! ;-)

I failed my driver's test on the 13th (marked me a lot for hesitancy) so am going for another one on the 27th. I am hoping that all the driving in the city will do me good. :-) Praying... praying.

Anyways. I think that is everything for now. I am trying to write thank you notes for all of the gifts we received so I should get on it. :-) Also, I should decide what I am going to make for lunch.

P.S. Hannah posted a picture of her and Daniel. :-) Click here to view it.

Wedding Odds... and Ends

Random: on my blog feedjit (sidebar) it says that I am logging in from North Battleford, SK. North Battleford is around 8 hours from Carlyle. I guess the feedjit people think that only a few places exist in Saskatchewan. The rest of the province is a cold, barren wasteland where the native people inhabit igloos and drive dogsleds while defrosting their noses all year around.  

Yesterday, I wrapped the rest of the gifts that I have for peoples and cleaned upstairs, preparing for my family to come and stay on Friday. It looks really nice up there now. :-) It's so comfy. I love our house. Can't wait to live in it! All of us older girls will be staying over at my inlaws. Right now, Lydia and I have Jesse's old room. Lydia gets the bottom bunk and I get the top bunk. I haven't fallen out yet!

Lindsey will be coming on Wednesday or Thursday and we'll be doing cheesecake and cheesecake cupcakes and a couple kinds of homemade candy. She has done so much and still has so much to do before she can come down. (Like make her dress.) (She's been busy shipping out chickens, making my wedding dress, making a wedding scrapbook, making place cards for the wedding reception, helping her neighbors clean their barns, helping a friend set up a restaurant...) I am always amazed and blessed by her.

My grandparents will be coming in a few days as well. I am really looking forward to seeing all four of them!

Today I am going to try to contact people about flowers and other things. It seems like everything is coming together. We have marriage license and a semi-plan of the schedule. ;-) Most of our bills paid off and Jesse is working really hard on his film project. Lydia and I walked from my inlaws place over to our place. We kept a good pace going but I was still pleasantly surprised that it only took us 45 minutes to get from point A to point B. I shall have to do it more often and get back into shape.

I am happy to be getting married. Especially getting married to Jesse. God has given me the desires of my heart and so much more.  Before it, I knew love was beyond my comprehension. After it, it's still way out there. Jesse, I love you.

Eternal Labyrinth of Randomness

It has been a very busy couple of weeks for me. If you couldn't tell. :-) I'm actually typing this during my lunch break, inbetween bites of sandwich. It's a ham sandwich. Surprise, surprise. But it's actually on whole wheat bread, so it's not completely unhealthy. Besides, I like ham! ;-)

This morning, I got up, ate homemade ice-cream for breakfast (Yum!), came to work and spent the morning discovering and doing. Firstly, photo lab. I learned how to make a copy of pictures on a cd. I have burned cds before but not with this exact program. I was glad that Heather is still here to teach me... She's going to be leaving for maternity leave in three days since she's due in September. The rest of the morning was spent on the till and working on end bunks.

I can barely remember what all has happened since I last wrote. Lol. It seems like so much has happened. This past Sunday, my family came down for a visit and saw our house for the first time. It was good to see them again. Especially the kids. :-) Jesse discovered how awesome they are. He also discovered that wherever Sara is, there he should be also. She unloaded some of his books from the bookshelf several times. Hehe.

My folks brought all of my things down. Well. Most of my things. My sister Ellie kept all of my Agatha Christie books. I adore Agatha Christie. Unfortunately that adoration seems to run in the family. I have around 20 of her paperbacks and I would really like to see them on my shelf. Eventually. I can't fight Ellie for them until she's all healed up. Anyways. :-P All of my things are officially in our house... my dresser, desk, book shelf, hopechest, quilts, books, dishes, keepsakes, etc. Things that girls usually keep even though they have moved half a dozen times in the last five years. :-) [Sidenote: I just realized that five years ago, I was 20. I'm getting old!] I unpacked some of my dishes... finally using my Grandma's present to me on my 18^th birthday. They're so beautiful. Corelle really outdid themselves in designs that year. [Sidenote: which happened to be 7 years ago. Oh my.]

Whenever we moved long distances, I would calculate how many books I had and give away half my clothing so I could take them. I love my books. I am so excited that they're in our house. :-D :-D One of these days, Jesse says he will build more bookshelves so we can fill them with all of our volumes. I have a lot of classics and old books. And I have a lot of my favorites. Lord of the Rings, Alicia, Alone...

Back to Ellie: she's doing well though some days she is in pain. Your continued prayers for her are appreciated. It would be so wonderful if she had a full recovery and regained the use of her arm/shoulder. No more being afraid it's going to come out... She is still being crazy girl, though. That means that she is out doing fencing with Lydia and chasing calves. :-P Yes, there is a bit of begrudging respect in my voice. Lol.

Wedding plans are coming along. Jesse's sister and I hit upon a Dollar Store in Regina a weekend or two ago and found some really nice glass jars, etc. So, we bought a large amount of them for decorations and candy. I need a couple more big jars for the candy table and I think we'll be good there. What I'm mainly looking for now are old crocheted table cloths and wooden boxes. I am really excited about the antique looks we're going to have. This is going to be so much fun. :-)

Jesse and I have always done a lot of talking. I remember when he began coming around to Michele's to talk to me. I knew that he was interested in me but I didn't think there was a chance that he would agree with me or even have similar thoughts regarding a lot of matters spiritually. So, I would purposely bring up things that I believed and didn't think anyone else did. The interesting thing was that each matter I brought up, he had not only already thought out the issue but had arrived at the same conclusion as I had. It was both a blessing and a curse at the time (lol!) but over the months it has steadily evolved into a blessing only. I can bring up any subject I'm struggling with or am thinking about and he will give his opinion, encourage me to think about it and back off. I have never met anyone like him in my entire life.

The other day, I was really having issues with judging others. I still hold some hard things close to my heart and it is so difficult to let go. But as we were talking about this, my beloved said, “Negativity breeds negativity.” He went on to encourage me to act in love. Even if I could not reconcile myself to certain things (at this point, I have decided that when I am ready and God wants me to, I will be able to let go) then at least I can act in love towards these individuals.

His answer was so simple and so filled with wisdom that I haven't been able to forget what he said. I am really happy that I'm marrying this guy. :-)

So, my life is filled right now with work, house renovations, reorganizing our house, making pudding this evening, loving God and my man, learning about the joys and trials of co-workers, trying to write a blog post, eating skittles, ordering wedding invitations, getting a marriage commissioner lined up and generally enjoying life as much as I can (which is a lot). :-)

Forgive the random bold-ened words. I was feeling randomly bold today. :-)

A Post of Happy Things

Last night, I got back home late and found a picture of two of my friends kissing at their wedding. They had kept it quite secret so I didn't even know they were interested in each other. Furthermore, I definitely did not suspect that Kim was interested in *hugging*, let alone kissing. ;-) (Kim used to be the Queen of the Cootie Mania.) The funny thing was that our mutual friend Ben Palmer had predicted a match between the two about a year before he passed away. I think everyone laughed but wouldn't you know? He was right. And it is so right because they are so perfect for each other.

The weather here has finally warmed up! I am not planning on wearing a coat to work this morning (which means we'll get about 2 inches of rain this evening while I'm walking home) because Spring has arrived. Yesterday evening when Jesse brought me home, it was around 11 and it was still so warm that neither of us were wearing coats. I am loving this weather. :-)

Yesterday, we spent most of the day cleaning up at our house. Paul and Dianne came over and helped us. Together we accomplished a lot. On Friday, Jesse and I tore up the old deck. That took most of the afternoon, after which, we went back to the Twietmeyers and crashed. We were so exhausted. Lol. I think every single bone and muscle in my body ached and I have colorful bruises all over my shins! The old deck was like a death trap. You had to be very careful to walk on the treads, otherwise, you fell through the wood. It was really rotten in spots. Anyways, it was so good to get that out of there. :-)

We piled the wood up on Friday and left it that way. Yesterday, we hauled the piles to the dump and cleaned up the trash that had been under the deck. (We even found a rubber boot...) Then, we unloaded a trailer full of things that Dianne had bought from friend of hers who was moving back to Spain... And we also brought some things from our house out (ugly green chairs, etc) to the trailer for the yard sale we're having next weekend.

Yes, I did take pictures! And left my camera at the Twietmeyers. :-P Sometimes I wonder if my head is screwed on correctly. ;-) (I also left my tooth brush.)

Other than that, I've been busy with working at PharmaSave and teaching. The end of the teaching year is coming up so the students are working hard to perfect their songs. The recital is on the 29th so we have another week. This is a stressful time for me... the teaching is intense and keeps me on my toes. I am torn between my love for teaching and being happy it's almost over with.

Well, I should get my lunch together and prepare for work. Maybe tonight I will be able to begin the next season of the Sarah Jane Adventures....

P.S. Erin S. took these pictures at the bridal shower. Thanks, girls! :-)

I am seated between my two mothers. :-) Heidi to the left (blue) and Dianne to the right (dark hair). 

You can see Lindsey sitting down... purple shirt... 

Random Thoughts of the Day

The sun is out and the sky is blue. The snow is melting and leaving huge puddles everywhere. I am feeling quite happy about it. :-) The winter was strange this year; extremes on both sides of the thermometer. I couldn't get used to it! So, I will be glad when it's finally warm. :-) Then, I won't have to be bundled up while walking to work, I'll be able to ditch my poor, holey black leggings and run about freeeeee!! :-D

It has been interesting to hear the responses to my wedding planning. Such positivity, so many opinions, everyone being as helpful and sweet as can be. We are so blessed! Today, Jesse and I and his dad are going to look at some places to buy. Jesse, Lindsey and I had looked at them before but, obviously, only from the outside. It will be interesting if the places we thought most promises remain that way upon further inspection. I am actually very excited about this. Having a place to get ready to live in is something Jesse and I have both been wanting for awhile. One thing I hadn't counted on when I was thinking about my (future) wedding was the feeling of longing just to be married. :-) Planning the wedding is fun but sometimes it seems to be all so unnecessary and in the way of preparing for married life. Lol. However, the sensible part of my brain always knows how much I want my grandparents, family members and good friends to see Jesse and I exchange our vows. And goodness knows that as hermit-ish as the two of us are, we both love a gathering of people we love (i.e. party ;-)).

When we were getting the fabric for the wedding, the lady measuring it for us asked if this was for my wedding. She then said she could see a nice yellow or orange going with the green we had gotten. She is totally right, those colors would go really nicely. But as you all know, I have delphiniums in mind. "Actually, I thought blue," I said. Her jaw dropped and her eyes were astonished. "Blue??!" she queried. She was such a lovely, inhibited person. I love people like her. ;-) Lindsey and I kept chuckling to each other and saying, "Blue??!" ;-)

No Hermits Allowed

It is important to dream. It is important to have goals. 

Yes, two very blunt statements. What brought that on, you ask. And furthermore, what do goals and dreams have with the banishment of hermits? In time.. in time. Patience. Horses should be held in until 3/4 of the way through the post. ;-) (If you have no idea of what that last statement means, ask my sister Lydia.)

I was talking to Michele and my friend Jesse and they made me realize some things about myself. The first thing that I found out was that I have always been afraid to dream for fear of not being strong enough to realize it. Or maybe it was because I wondered if my dreams were from the selfishness in my heart. 

That realization brought me to another,  my lack of faith. God places desires into our hearts. He does not place them there to make us miserable.

For instance, one of my dreams is to get married to a wonderful man and have children someday. God gave me this desire so...

What can I do to prepare myself for this time? 

1: I can learn to be content with my single status until the time comes for it to change. To be joyful in the now... this moment, not waiting for tomorrow or next year. 

2: I can learn how to become efficient with money. How to become thrifty and wise in the spending of funds. (Note: *not* a miser. Just thrifty. ;-))

3: Behave in a way to all that will glorify God and make my future husband appreciate that I'm saving myself for him. And, show my children what a true lady acts like. 

4: Become closer to God so I can teach my children about Him and be the mother I should be. 

5: Learn how to support myself (both from the home and otherwise) so I am not completely dependent on the man I marry. (Note: Unless God worked a miracle in my heart, I would not marry a man who could/would not support me.)

6: Through this all, realizing that if God wants me to wait many years or just months, I can trust that He doeth all things well. 

Some days, I am completely overwhelmed with these six things. Honestly. So I step back and close my eyes to all of them except the first one. My relationship with God takes first place over anything else. Resting in Him and learning from Him is like getting my battery recharged.  

I certainly don't have it all figured out. I'm still in the deciphering stage. Lol. But things are coming clearer and I am feeling more fulfilled and at peace. I am happy. I am no longer a hermit in a crowd waiting for life to catch up to me. (Well, maybe just a little bit of a hermit. It's kind of a fun status to hold. ;-) j/k) My newly created goals have brought me out of my shell and given me new purpose.

What are some of your goals? You don't have to answer that question out loud. But ask yourself. Especially you girls. What do you feel God wants for you? Are you preparing for it? Don't fall into the lie that girls are good for nothing but marriage and kids. Maybe God wants you to serve somewhere else. Remember Ruth and Priscilla... read Proverbs 31 again with open eyes. Deborah is almost painfully awesome for me. None of them simply sat at home and waited for life to come find them. No, some of them went and found it while others kept busy until it did find them. But none of them were unproductive.

And guys... yes, I mean you and you and you. :-) What are you doing to grow up? We need you to be men. What does God want from your life?

There is no need for us to be adrift. It isn't necessary. It isn't biblical. We need to have dreams. We need to have goals. 

Some of my other goals:

Driver's licence.

Being the best piano teacher.

Being the best pianist that my abilities will allow.

The best, most loyal, supportive friend to all my friends.

Being someone people can trust.

Keeping my eyes on God and drawing closer to Him.

Write a book. Or two. 

Compose music.

Always being involved in theater.

Being responsible in every aspect of my life.

Making time for all the children who cross my path.

I would love to read about your goals and how you are preparing... if you would like to share. :-) I am all ears!!