“For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.” (1 Cor. 13:12)
Today, I was busy with my thoughts, my hands involved with a craft, when I suddenly realized something.
Brain: “You just ordered God to do something.”
Me: ::mentally starts pounding herself to pulp::
Brain: “Well, feather head (myself excluded) what are you going to do about it?”
Me: “I... don't know what to say.”
Brain: “A simple apology might be a good starting point.”
At first I couldn't believe how preoccupied I had become with myself. Even though I was praying for someone else, I had been mentally envisioning the power I have through Jesus Christ and my prayers to Him. Instead of humble petitions, my prayers became laced with pride until I was commanding God to do things. Amazing how quickly I go downhill.
On the other hand, not so unbelievable.
It's sobering when you think of the liberties we take with God. He's Awesome, Divine, All-Powerful, Just, Loving, Great, Three In One. You know that's just a drip of whole pitcher.
We don't know how to relate to Him.
We don't even know how to talk to Him.
We can't understand how much He's done for us.
We can't understand the extent of pure justice that only God understands and uses.
He gives us glimpses of Him. Sometimes it's almost blinding.
He let's us talk to Him... and not only that, He talks to us.
He knows how much He's done for us and all He says (even when we make the stupidest mistakes), “Debt paid. I love you.”
Even though we do not understand, God's Justice is being bestowed on each of His children.
Ok. So I was being demanding. So I was thinking of myself instead of God. I could start yelling at myself and get very depressed. While doing so, I could stop thinking about God completely instead of concentrating on Him totally.
Or, I could get over it and begin again. Realizing again that I am a bumbling human being who's Father loves her and wants her attention and love.
Sometimes when I pray diligently for something for a long time, I feel discouraged when God doesn't answer in 'good' time (my time, of course). I start asking myself, “Did I not pray right? What if my prayer was selfish? Maybe I'm not good enough.”
“Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.” (Romans 8:26)
As I was writing, I remembered the man who's prayers and praises are probably the most read section of the Bible. David. The man after God's own heart.
Prayer beginning: “Oh Lord, please kill 'em! Slit their tongues. I can't stand these creeps any more.” Prayer ending: “Oh thank you, God, for answering my prayer! I praise You with my whole heart!”
It would be interesting to know if God answered David's prayer by killing those David asked Him to kill or... if God turned David's direction from his enemies, back to God. It's amazing how much becomes bearable when God is our focus. Ah... we serve a righteous God. A loving God. One whom I can't understand very well but of whom I get glimpses of.
“Wherefore he is able also to save them to the uttermost that come unto God by him, seeing he ever liveth to make intercession for them. “(Hebrews 7:25)
Lesson summary from today? I need to focus on God. More. I need to rest in His perfection. More.
The most amazing thing about God is that there is never an end. There is always more. I am looking forward to Heaven. :-)