On Adulthood, Responsibilities and Kittens

You may be wondering at the lack of posts. So have I. Each time I open my blog to write, there is nothing in my head to write about. That does not mean that nothing is happening. Everything is happening. Lol. Life kicked into gear and is taking us on what feels like a roller coaster ride. It feels good to work, even if I don't want to get up in the morning. Knowing that I've helped put food on the table or, that extra is being put away for renovations or trips, feels really good. And to have a husband who has the strength and character to maintain a steady job is a real God-send.

Life has been a bit bumpy for us the last couple of months. One thing after another. Bills, bills upon more bills. Not much income coming in for a month or so. God provided for us, though. And, we are happy. We have grown closer together; love being a sweet, sweet thing. I am so thankful.

Among the hiccups have been some amusing moments. For instance: we live on the Whitebear Resort, which is lovely. We have to get our water hauled in. Most of us resort people have big water tanks which are filled by a water hauler once a month, or as often as needed. As you well know, my sister Lydia came to live with us in June. Since then, our water consumption has been more. Which means that our tank empties at a faster rate. However, we never seem to calculate this. The past three months, we've ran out of water. Each time, there has been some reason we can't get water for approximately three days. That's an interesting state of affairs. That means having to use the outhouse or the great outdoors/thick underbrush repeatedly for 72  hours. (Please tell me there aren't any rabid skunks in the neighborhood!) Also, this means we have to run over to Jesse's parents house for water to drink. Thankfully, the previous owners of the house left a nice 7 gallon water container for such emergencies. (Jesse  likes to haul this around full so I can see his muscles pop out.) (I love his muscles.) You may be asking why this situation proves so amusing to me. 5 words: Three months in a row.

We took part in the play put on by Cornerstone Theatre. On Friday, my father-in-law and a friend were trying to bring an elderly patron upstairs via the elevator. It promptly broke, of course, and since there were several other waiting riders, they had to fix it. After they had been gone for awhile, my husband went to see if how the repairs were progressing ... and found them locked in the elevator. Through the glass, they tried to give Jesse instructions. Doug said, "You need to find the emergency key for the elevator..."  At that moment, my father-in-law held up something and remarked, "I think it's in here with us." Doug actually banged his head against the wall. Then he remembered there was a second one... Jesse had them out before five minutes had passed. Lol. They were the tech crew for the play, too. Invaluable to the production. Kinda scary when you think about it. Haha!

Then there's teaching; 17 students. Christmas planning. Jesse's birthday planning. Trying to not get the cold that Lydia is getting over and Jesse is coming down with.

On top of it all is Mr. Fox. 

\
Jesse's cousin discovered a very miserable kitten hanging around their porch last week. She thought it was a she. And she thought she should bring this wee, adorable feline over to my inlaws' place. My mil and sil in turn thought of Lydia, who had mentioned wanting a cat. Long story short, "she" turned into a "he" and his name is "Mr. Fox". He is cute, small, about 6 weeks old, has no horrible diseases and Snow is even starting to like him. ;-)

So, life in all it's wonderful busy-ness... Love it. Hate it. Revel in it. I'm living every day with my love and life is goodness. :-) 

1 Year

Jesse and Naomi Twietmeyer

September 10th, 2011

it's been a good year

snAp sHoTs of my LIFE

This blog post belongs to the points in my life which have recently been happening and should be (?) shared with the public via blogger. I love today's social society.

***

Yesterday, Lydia called our mum to wish her a very happy birthday. After these were delivered and received, Mum mentioned that our newly married sister, Hannah Ives, was looking for a play pen to put the baby in while she was working the garden next Spring.
 "Oh," says Lydia. There was a brief silence. Then, "Are they... expecting?"
"You didn't know?" Mum asked.
 "No," replied Lydia.
"We thought you knew!" Mum said.
 "No, we did not," replied Lydia.
"Well, she's due in March sometime," Mum informed.
 I was at work at that point and Lydia wanted to text me but Jesse wouldn't let her because he wanted to see my reaction to the news. (He was also gloating in anticipation about referring to Lydia's and my 3 year old sister, "Aunty Sara.") So when I get home, Lydia waves a notebook in my face that had a big note written in it "Hannah is expecting sometime in March." I flipped, of course. Lydia and I have begun calling each other "Aunty Lydia" and "Aunty Naomi"... and we're wondering what on earth to give her that will be the greatest help. And we're wondering how visits are to be arranged and how to spoil Hannah and baby. Oh such a excitement!
I had wanted to wish Mum a happy birthday as well, so I phoned her and expressed my desire for her to have a lovely birthday. Then, I asked to speak to Marty.
"So," says my sister, "I'm... um... making a cake. Because... um... we all forgot it was Mum's birthday. Except maybe Dad. Anyways, Mum got off the phone with Lydia and said, 'That was Lydia wishing me a happy birthday' and we're all like, 'It's your birthday?!'"
It was a red letter day for communication among the Holter offspring.

***

Insomnia has been a part of my life since I was a little girl. So were night terrors. As I grew older, it seemed to get worse and better, depending on what was happening in my life at the time. When I left home, I slept better than I had in years. But when my husband and I began to share a bed at night, the first months were filled with me screaming frantically and trying to rid myself of whatever or whoever stalked my dreams.  I would wake up sweating and struggling in the blankets, but there was one thing that came to my consciousness very quickly: Jesse. He would hold me close, smooth my hair on my head, whisper in my ear... soon these instances diminished and now, I have them very rarely. It's because of him. I still struggle with sleeplessness. But when insomnia invades those dark hours, what used to be a curse is now a blessing. I lay awake, listening to my lover breathe. He sleeps so soundly, yet he would be awake in a moment if I needed him. I no longer fear the night. Precious are the moments of silence I share in the presence of my beloved.

***

This morning, we slept until past 10 and got up to make a brunch. Since the house was still cold from the night, we opened blinds and curtains to allow the sun's warmth inside. Jesse's cat, Snow, has a decidedly annoying habit of always wanting to be inside and outside, depending, of course, on what side of the door he is on. No sooner have we let him out, he wants back in and vice versa. Lydia seems to enjoy spoiling him by opening the door at his wish but we are not so kind. This morning, however, I opened the door wide, letting the sun into the kitchen while I made potato pancakes. The breeze mixed with the sunlight and the sound of the falling leaves made it a most delightful experience for us humans. Snow, on the other hand, was flabbergasted. Should he be in or out? Should he sit on the doorstep? Should he pace? Or should he sit? What would show his dignity best in this difficult situation? In the end, he sat on the rug just inside the door and glared at the openness until we shut the door.

***

There was a party the other night celebrating numerous birthdays. It was a pot luck affair and I decided we were going to make use of the remnants of the roasted chicken we'd had on Wednesday. At my request, Jesse went to the garden and dug potatoes, carrots and an onion. He was also supposed to find basil and garlic but he couldn't locate them. He even got out his phone and googled what they were supposed to look like. (I love this man.) I was just on my way home from work so when he called me to ask for my assistance, I met him in the garden 7.25 minutes later. There was no garlic; apparently, it had all been harvested. But the basil and oregano were both there and flourishing. There is something remarkable about growing and harvesting fresh herbs. They add such delicate, full bodied flavor to a dish. In this case, I tore the basil leaves up and stripped the oregano from it's stems before adding it to the chopped meat.
Soup is very satisfying on every count. I enjoy all soups, though chicken and turkey are favorites. To make chicken soup, you must have chicken, chicken broth, a variety of vegetables, herbs and creativity. I suppose that is my favorite thing about soup: you can use your imagination. Good soup is an art. When we were eating my soup later that evening, I held a potato aloft on my spoon and announced proudly, "This vegetable was in the ground 3 hours ago."
Lydia snorted, as wise sisters always do and asked me to refrain from bragging. "What?" she calmly said, "Like you weren't raised eating fresh vegetables." True, but it felt good knowing my abilities as a hard working farm girl are still lurking under the surface.

***

There have been some people wondering about my spiritual well being. I appreciate your concern. I need the prayers. My search for Truth goes on and on every moment of each day. I do not claim to be well versed in Truth and Love. In fact, my lack of knowledge both frightens and thrills. I am fearful because I understand only a little of the depths to which I can plunge. God help me. But I am elated by circumstance because I can grow and learn. This is not the end; I can go on. My latest epiphany is that before I can forgive others, I must forgive myself, as God forgives and loves me. Because, guess what?! I hold endless grudges against myself and my past or future actions. I cannot exist this way. Do you ever have trouble forgiving yourself? There is a moment in which we see ourselves through the eyes of Eternity.

***

My piano schedule has filled dramatically. In fact, I am teaching 4 days per week instead of the usual 3. So far, 17 students. Lydia is also teaching (in my kitchen!) so we will be able to compare notes and ideas. I am looking forward to another great year of students. As I've mentioned before, my students broaden my horizons; at times, it is their genius and it is their ignorance combined which allows me to understand music more fully. My free moments are spent studying, scheduling, practicing...

***

Politics: I was raised to ignore them. In actuality, both parties usually annoy me to no end, so I chose to follow the ignorance. But ignorance does not make our world any better. My husband and his family are heavily involved with politics so when I began falling in love with Jesse, I sought to understand what was so interesting about two parties saying, "We're better. They're lying. We'll do this. See what they've done to the economy? You should elect us." The fact of the matter is, politicians talk down to people because people want to be talked down to. There are some free thinking, strong individuals who actually see outside off the box. But many people will vote for THEIR party, regardless of policy (or, the lack thereof). They will quote bold statements which have no basis in Truth because their party's politician said it. They want someone to blame so they blame whoever is in power. There are times we are not worthy of freedom. The most frightening thing? Great evil can be put into power through ignorance. Goodbye, freedom.
In regards to the Obama/Romney election, we were watching "West Wing". In this particular episode, President Bartlett was talking to Josh Lyman about economy, power and broken promises. His words were very timely given present circumstances and I wanted to share them here:

"There was a man named Canute, one of the great Viking kings of the 11th century. He wanted his people to be aware of his limitations, so he led them down to the sea and he commanded the tide to roll out. It didn’t. 
"Who gave us the notion that Presidents can move the economy like a play-toy? That we can do more than talk it up or smooth over the rough spots? It’s a lie. What we really owe that union is the truth." -- (Jed Bartlett) West Wing, Season 5, Episode 19 "Talking Points"

***

September 10th, 2011, we stood in front of an audience and proclaimed our commitment to each other. We had already made an everlasting commitment to each other on November 5th, 2010 but there were many who needed to witness our union. It was the best wedding we have ever attended... not just because it was our own (my goodness, if I could have passed the stress off to someone else...) but because it was a party where all could feel comfortable with who they were. There was good company, good music, good food... and most of all, so much love.
They say the first year is the hardest. I say, if this is so, then I am looking forward to the years to come. We have had our rocky points (like, for instance, Jesse was ignoring me and I wanted attention... so I poured a cup of cold water over his head) and sometimes, one of us will get annoyed at the other. But our friendship has never wavered, nor our respect for the other. There is such freedom to be who we are as individuals, yet someone there to lean on. I never thought I would ever meet such a kindred spirit. Even from the first moment of conversation, we felt a deep connection. I fought it at first because I was frightened; but it only grew stronger and more insistent. I know that God had a hand in this union.

***

Regarding items of varying sizes and importance that float through my life: God, Jesse, Lydia, The Cat. Oh my... I'm going to be an aunt. :-D They have all been duly noted upon. Enjoy, dear readers. May the future be brightest and may Truth be an amazement.

8 Months Ago...

It seems like yesterday... but also as though we've been together forever. 

Thank you, Lord.

March 5th -- Something You Love

Something I love? Us. 

Jesse and Naomi Twietmeyer.

Mr. and Mrs. 

The talking.

The laughter.
Etc., etc., etc. ;-)

Everything about us.

Of Hackers and Mountain Tops

Post Whitney Houston's death, a friend of mine posted a complaint about people in general. She asked why the public cares more about Whitney Houston than the fact of our freedom of speech rights are being taken away. I understand her criticism and I understand people's reactions. However, she made her point and it did make me think about this new bill that is being passed.

I don't agree with premise of the bill.

I don't agree that our freedom should be limited. I don't like it at all that the government will now legally be able to hack into our computers and phones. (Btw, if it's legal, does the word 'hack' still apply? They're taking all the fun out it!) But honestly, don't kid yourself: our computers and phones haven't been private since they were invented. I am not claiming that there is someone looking or listening 24/7 but they have the capabilities to do so.

My thoughts are numerous on the subject but that is all I am going to post for now... simply because I haven't researched enough to even make casual remarks. Which is what I just did. Lol.

And about Whitney's death? Death so young and at the hands of overdosed fame. It has happened before and it will happen again. That does not make it any less tragic. I truly hope she is finally at peace. Death and life deserve our respect, regardless of other things that distract us. She was a true artist; her voice was a gift that not many people are given.

On a brighter note, Jesse and I recently arrived home from our ski trip to BC. It was a great year for skiing. The conditions were just right. One day, it did rain at the base of the mountain but when Jesse and Sam went to the top, they said it was all powder.

There is a sense of paralyzing fear when I'm standing on a mountain, looking straight down and wondering how I am ever going to make it down without killing myself. That is me every single time. I keep wishing for the time when my confidence will trump the frightened part of me. I am glad for the experience because it forces me to face my fears and do what I am afraid of most. Ironically, I am not afraid when I am careening down the mountain at top speed; it's the turns that scare me. The fear seems irrational to me, even at the time... but that doesn't stop me from being terrified. :-)

My husband was with me every step of the way. He has been on the mountain since he was pretty young and is an amazing skier. He likes skiing stuff like black runs and moguls. But when I was on hills, he was with me. He never left my side. He never stopped encouraging me, either. When I would do something he thought was excellent, he'd tell me. All in all, he is pretty much the perfect husband. ;-) I love him so much. On a note of people who stuck with  me, Sam was pretty decent too. :-) She went and skied by herself as well but she skied a lot with us and we enjoyed her company.

One accident: it was due to my lack of confidence. I managed to land awkwardly and twisted my knee pretty badly. It actually hasn't hurt with that much intensity since before I had surgery. I felt something pop and twist and grind and oh boy, was I hollering. Jesse and Sam got me untangled pretty quickly. Because it only takes a little twist or landing the wrong way to make my knee into a walking watermelon, I was sure I was going to be incapacitated for the rest of our trip. We were way up the mountain when this happened and I wasn't sure if I could even stand, let alone get all the way down. Sam said she'd get someone to come get me if I couldn't get down. But I decided to give it a shot and we made it back to base with me still on my feet. The most amazing thing is that after that, my leg didn't swell much and it felt completely normal after two days. Yes!

Sam is so not a PDF person. She prefers a distinct lack of feelings. We know this very well indeed. She's also Jesse's younger sister, so of course, we like to torment her. How do we torment her? Oh. The normal ways. Make sure she's looking when we hold hands and stare dreamily into each other's eyes. And there's the loud comments... "I misssssseeedddd you!" "Can we cuddle now?" And we kiss. A lot. (We always kiss a lot but we make sure to kiss especially a lot when she's in the room.) Poor Sam! Hehe.

Well, it's getting closer to suppertime and the chicken is smelling awesome. I love chicken. :-) Btw, we had the most divine bison burgers the other day. Yum.

mOre snaPshoTs

    Jesse asked Sara what his name was. She thought for a moment, then she said,             "I'm Jesse."

Avoiding a skunk waddling across the highway and having my husband still congratulating me on this feat two days later.

Forgetting to bring any night clothing with me on the trip therefore, having to buy new ones at Superstore in Regina. It was a mistake that turned into a good thing: I LOVE them. They are so warm and cozy, I could wear them 24/7. Unfortunately, I can't! (Professional image up-keep.)

Watching Ghost Protocol in the Galaxy theatre and feeling my stomach churn over the tall building with lots of glass part. I think I may have yelped a couple of times.

Going to Boston Pizza and eating at midnight. They have the most delectable Christmas dessert there: Peppermint Brownie Delight. Side note: Jesse and I aren't big fans of peppermint and chocolate mixed together. I mean, come on: two great flavors, why mix them? But the picture of this one was pretty convincing so, we ordered it. Picture this: two hot brownies, two big scoops of vanilla ice-cream (the kind with chunks of vanilla in it), raspberry syrup and chocolate syrup drizzled over, then... the final touch: crushed peppermint candy canes over everything. It. Was. Heavenly.

Our second test of 'in sickness and in health'. Half an hour before we arrived at my parents, Jesse came down with some sort of head cold/flu. His fever was very high, he ached all over, he was shaking and shivering and coughing. At one point, he was so weak that he couldn't even move. I finally got him to take some Advil and that seemed to help keep his fever down. He doesn't often get sick, but when he does, he REALLY does.

Ruth got herself into some trouble for being too noisy while Jesse was trying to sleep. Hannah scolded her soundly for almost waking up her "brother-in-law"... the idea of a five-year-old having a brother-in-law cracks me up. And it gets better: Sara is two.

Exchanging presents at Lindsey's place. She got us several awesome gifts but the one I am going to mention is the SKITTLES!!! Hehe. I love having friends who get you what you want for Christmas.

Sitting in our living room and not having to worry about the mosquitoes. They are finally gone. Good ol' Raid.

Getting the mail and seeing that my new camera had arrived. I am (so, SO!!!) excited about the camera. Jesse is excited about the tripod. And Snow is happy because ...

....he got salmon flavored Kitty Treats for Christmas. (Jesse calls them Cat Crack.) We're good cat owners because we only give him one at a time. Amen.

Celebrating the New Year with my family and many folks from the Endeavour Church. It was a lot of fun and we rang in the tick-tock of Midnight with a rousing chorus of Onward Christian Soldiers. Mainly because I was too exhausted at that point to think of anything else creative.

Jamming with Ellie and Lydia for the first time in months. I actually can't remember the last time we did that. It was good and it brought back pleasant memories of our family band and all the hours we used to practice together. I am glad we were able to bond in this way over the years. Music is magic and it is definitely alive and well.

Eating supper at Brewsters with Sam. This restaurant is also where two dear friends waitress, so between Jesse, Sam, Gillian, Brie and awesome, awesome food, it was a pleasant experience for me. I will be going back there again.

Watching five different movies in two days while in Regina. We watched The Adventures of Tintin, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, Arthur Christmas, Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol and Sherlock Holmes Game of Shadows. All were brilliant. I definitely want to review each of them for Ponderings. What a treat to be able to go sit in a darkened theatre and watch things come to life on the big screen.

It was -4* C. today. In January. In Saskatchewan. That's really warm. And the snow and ice were all melting and falling off the car. Weather predictions say it's supposed to last all week. ::happy sigh::

Today my husband told me I am prettier than Marilyn Monroe. (In context, it doesn't sound weird. Lol!) It never fails: he makes me feel beautiful, smart and best of all, strong and good. I am really blessed to have such a man.

The best snapshot of the week is simply that God answered my prayers regarding several matters: Jesse and I drew ever closer through this holiday season, the visit with my family went well, Christmas with the in-laws was so good and last, but most certainly not least, Jesse is getting better.

Happy Holidays for all, forever. Cheers!

Christmas House

I like Christmas trees and ours is no exception. It's like bringing flowers into the house, except.. bigger.

 I found these lovely burgundy bulbs at the Pharmasave.

See the pottery tea-set? A wedding gift from a friend. We love it.

Deck the halls with... garlands and bows. :-)

My wonderful husband and our dearly beloved cat. Both vying for attention... and receiving it. :-)

Some of you have requested pictures of the new porch. Well, there it is from the inside. Haven't braved the cold air to take any outside.

I made the most delicious bean and tomatoe soup with sausage in it for supper tonight. We had toasted cheese sandwiches to go along with it. So good. :-)

love: an ode to mine

The Fountains mingle with the river

And the rivers with the ocean,

The winds of heaven mix for ever

With a sweet emotion;

Nothing in the the world is single,

All things by a law devine

In one another's being mingle -- 

Why not I with thine?

See the mountains kiss high heaven

And the waves clasp one another;

No sister-flower would  be forgiven

If it disdain'd its brother:

And the sunlight clasps the earth,

And the moonbeams kiss the sea --

What are all these kissings worth,

If thou kiss not me?

-- Shelley

I know people who have fallen out of love. There are times when their pain is badly disguised. I feel it.. their longing for what they have lost. I do not judge them and I try to avoid pity. I believe there is a different path for each of us. If you are offended by this post of utter and complete contentment, forgive me. I have known my own pain and I have struggled through my own struggles. (I am me, of course, so I never stop learning the hard way.) But I have found a resting place, somewhere safe and I want that for everyone.

I have chosen a path to walk and by my side is the man I want with me forever. I have only loved for a little over a year. The varying of and the strength of this emotion never is the same - not even moment to moment. I have learned some things; I hope for much more over the years. This post is partly for me but I also wanted to put to rest some of the misconceptions about love.

Fear to embrace it, fear to not. Do not fear.

Today it is heaped at your feet, it has found its end in you

The love of all man’s days both past and forever:

Universal joy, universal sorrow, universal life.

The memories of all loves merging with this one love of ours – 

And the songs of every poet past and forever.

-- Rabindranath Tagore

Love fills emptiness or holes in you that you didn't know existed.

Love is a partnership: it requires giving of yourself and receiving of the other person. While you need to be whole in yourself (your faith, your love, your abilities) you also need to be able to allow yourself to be made whole by that other person. 

Love's a mystery. Sometimes there are feelings that are so deep and full that they cannot be expressed. Sometimes it's a crush of overwhelmed senses and wildly fluctuating emotions. Sometimes it's found in the easy camaraderie of two people who have established a friendship. But it can never be said, "Love is this. Love is that," and this thing be properly explained.

A true lover is proved such by his pain of heart;

No sickness is there like sickness of heart.

The lover's ailment is different from all ailments;

Love is the astrolabe of God's mysteries. 

-- Mewlana Jalaluddin Rumi

Love's story is different for every person. You might find yourself falling for your best friend, your worst enemy or someone you met on the street five minutes ago.

At the point Jesse and I met, I didn't think I was ready to meet HIM. I had prayed for years for a man who would be worthy enough for me to fall in love with. When I met Jesse I knew almost immediately that he was the one but I fought it. God had to really work on me. I cannot tell you how important it is to be of an open heart to His will. The places and people God leads  you to are for a reason. They shape you. For what end, you may ask? For better. For good. For love! But God won't force you to go where He wants you to go. As Jesse says, "A free will, the chance to choose, is the greatest gift God gave us." It's true. Of course if you're really headed in the wrong direction, He may put a wall of fire or a cliff in your path. :-)

Love never judges. Love accepts you for who you are, regardless of where you have been or what you have done. Love thinks you are perfect for Love. But Love never accepts that you are all that you could be. Love strengthens you, helps you, encourages you... to be more of you. 

Everyone says that you can't change a person. To a certain extent, that it the truth. But let me tell you, you can encourage people to go one way or another. People say that Jesse has changed since he met me. He has grown a lot, I know. But I never tried to change him because I like the way he is. I just believe in him and love him. I am a responsible person. I stress. I worry. I fear. I am an introvert. Jesse has gently but firmly pushed me to be more confident in myself and my abilities. For years, I had been expected to be a certain person and criticized if I stepped out of the role. Jesse hasn't changed me but he has helped me embrace who I can be. I am no longer just Naomi. I am Naomi. 

Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth: 

Love is living, growing, changing. Love would not have been worth it had it not been with my soul mate, my best friend. So much mystery, so much fear, so much unknown... but Jesse proved faithful and true every step of the way.

Each day I find myself praying for wisdom: How can I love Jesse more? How can we grow closer together? Love cannot help but change as I change from day to day. And I do change from day to day! I am a living human being, experiencing living human life. Jesse is the same. We are two completely different people. How can our love not change with us changing day to day? The prayer is that we will change for good. We may be perfect for each other at this point in life but will we be in 30 years? 13 years? 3 months? Love is the most difficult thing of all because we human beings are selfish by nature. That's why being committed to each other for life is so important for us.

Love has many faces. We love our lover. We love our friends. We love our family. We love God. Each love we experience helps us understand ultimate Love.

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows

higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart) 

-- e e cummings

I love this post by my friend Abigail. :-) It is very insightful.  http://jawestbrook.blogspot.com/2011/12/settling-or-setting-aside-lists.html

30 Days

All my life, my heart has yearned for a thing I cannot name. -- Andre Breton

One month ago today, Jesse and I stood up in front of witnesses and very legally became Mr. and Mrs. Jesse and Naomi Twietmeyer. It was a wonderful day filled with wonderful, beautiful people... the joy of it will always be etched into my memory.

There are so many things I remember clearly throughout those days. One of the most amazing is seeing everything I envisioned come to reality. Throughout the months, I had developed some very firm ideas of what I wanted in a wedding. Since I am a photographer, I wanted everything to be picture friendly. Some things look very good to the eye and horrible in pictures. I wanted to avoid that. I really wanted to avoid that. Yay for Sam (sister-in-law) and Lindsey (best friend). And Paul (father-in-law). And Jesse (husband). And Dianne (mother-in-law). And Kate (Di's sister). And my family (my grandparents came a couple days early and my immediate family, the day before the wedding). Ok. Yay for everyone! :-)

While there are many memorable moments from those days, there are some that will never leave me. Small glimpses in time, snatched away to tuck close to my heart. I remember someone once telling that the days before my wedding and my wedding day would all be a blur... that I would too excited to notice or care very much. I thank them for warning me. I promised myself that if I could help it, the blur and excitement would not swallow me: my consciousness would be completely intact and God helping me, I would enjoy every minute of that day.

One of the Most vivid memories I have was right before the ceremony was to start. We had come back late from pictures and the wedding was supposed to be starting right away. I felt windblown and frazzled but everyone was assuring me that I looked amazing. Lol. Lindsey and I ran down the stairs the back way from the dressing rooms and into the kitchen downstairs. From there, it was quick washroom break and rushing to other set of stairs. Right as we were about to enter the Green Room entrance, the outer doors opened and some dear friends walked in. She was carrying her brandnew baby girl. The sight of my friend's smile and her mother beauty calmed me. Some moments are pure orchestration. That was no coincidence.

There was Another right before the processional. My new family was about as frazzled as I was but they still took the time to argue about what exactly was going to happen. This was going to happen... no! this was! It was quite funny. Furthermore, this is how they are: always have been, always will be. I kept laughing and trying not to smudge my make-up. I love them.

I will Never Forget walking down the aisle, holding Sara and Ruth's hands. Cilla walked down right before us, holding my bouquet. In the theatre, there are two aisles to walk down. We used the one to the right. I was afraid that the people seated to the left of the theatre wouldn't be able to see anything so I asked the marriage commissioner to announce that everyone was to remain seated. She forgot but it didn't matter. I think it was the sight of me with my little sisters that caught everyone off guard. :-) They didn't stand up until after I was almost down to the bottom of the aisle. The moment was the congregated, "Awww..." that rippled through the crowd when they realized what was happening. I definitely got the cute factor going with those sisters of mine. I love them!

There was another one, Earlier on both dressed for the big day, there was that moment: seeing Jesse and Jesse seeing me for the first time in our wedding clothes. Neither of us can figure out how we got so blessed. For me, the realization that there is actually a man in all creation who I can trust simply blows my mind. Add to that the fact that he loves me and I love him... well, I really didn't think it was even possible. I had given it up to God as a dream that would never be fulfilled. I would do whatever he wanted me to do with my life, even if that meant never being married.

We wrote our vows to each other. Jesse's was so beautiful. I have never heard anything so poignant and certain and full of love. (Afterwards, my dad said that when he heard Jesse's vow, he knew he could put away the shotgun. Haha.)

Naomi,

Few things are truly important.

I could throw away all my possessions and have lost nothing;

but your love is everything to me.

I stand before you now to promise you all that I am.

I make this promise with a full heart,

without fear or reservation,

for you are the only truly important thing to me;

I will stand beside you until the end,

because I love you.

The Peace I felt while saying my vows to Jesse. I had been so nervous that I would forget the words or falter. But when the time came, I was very, very calm. I meant those words with every ounce of my being and they came out like that. Thankfully. :-)


"Jesse, I love you. I love you  because you are my best friend. I love you because you are a good man. I love you because you seek Truth. I love you because you make me laugh. I love you because you are so annoying. I love you because you are God's answer to all of my prayers. But mostly I love you because I love you. You are the most beautiful thing in my life and it is with great joy that I pledge myself to you. I will pray for you. I will hope and dream with you. I will be with you as long as our lives shall last."

And what about the cake... talking with friends... the first dance... Michele's toast to the bride and groom... Lee-Amber asking me to open the card she had given me so I could read what she had written before she left... Samantha and Matt MC-ing... square dancing... coming downstairs after the ceremony to grab a drink of water and meeting up with Ray and Tahnis (squeal!)... talking with the grandparents... being welcomed into the family by Paul... The realization that we had actually pulled off a beautiful, gorgeous wedding for about $3000 (people were so generous)...  Jesse and I looking at each other around 11 pm, then sneaking off home without telling anyone (aside from Ellie).

What a good day. What a good rest-of-our-lives. It all began 11 months ago when Jesse told me he loved me.

I love my man. 

Beauty ... Life ...

There are moments in the days when one of us will have a moment. We will stop all movement and our faces will take on a curious blank expression, as though the entire world has ceased to exist. Then a sudden squeal erupts: "We're married!"

Yes indeed. :-)

Life since September 10th has been all we expected and more. Being with my best friend in the world all the time has been awesome. I love growing together -- mentally, spiritually, physically. It is the best feeling in the world. How much of this joy comes from the knowledge that God has brought us together? That He shaped us, guided us, worked through our lives until we were ready for each other? That our union was His good will? That each step of the path we felt His love and assurance?

When I prayed for a husband I prayed that when the right man came along, I would know. No doubts. No wonderings. I had had crushes on guys before. I had even thought I was in love. But I had never had assurance that these other potential men were God's will. When I met Jesse, it was so much different than I thought the real romance would be like. It is like a fairy tale with high emotion, trembling knees and  that assurance but it was also harder and more emotionally exhausting than I thought anything could be. But among everything else, there was one thing I knew for sure: Jesse was the one. He was handpicked for me by God.  My good friend Gisele, married 15 years, 3 kids and still madly in love with her husband, told me something last year. She said, "When you meet the right one, life is so easy." I have found this sentiment to be very true. Somehow, life's difficulties seemed halved when you are sharing them with that someone.

I just want to encourage you girls to pray. Don't decide to get married just for the sake of getting married. Pray that you will know. Pray for someone you can help and for someone who can help you. Relationships are funny things. They're not worth it if they are with the wrong person but they are more than worth it when they are with the right person.

So, part of getting to know your new spouse is going shopping together. There were certain things I really needed before the teaching season started next month... and we wanted to have a little bit of a special honeymoon. So, we went to Regina and spent a couple days there. One of the bigger purchases we made included cellphones for each of us. Jesse had had one for a couple years but I had never had one. It never appealed to me to have one and I put it off as long as I could. However, we don't have a land line so it became a necessity. Especially for the teaching. Anyways, I am enjoying having one. I have been able to contact people efficiently and get the information needed.

God provided some much needed funds and we are in the process of getting the house renovated before the winter hits. Yesterday morning at about 8:30, the buzzing of Jesse's cellphone woke us. My father-in-law called saying that he had tried to get the backhoe for Saturday (today) but he hadn't been able to. In fact, he had gotten one that was going to arrive in an hour (yesterday!). Needless to say Jesse and I got outside in a hurry. There was quite a bit of stuff to get out of the way so the backhoe operator could do his job and a small window of time to do it in. We didn't quite finish (ripping up the last section of deck was the killer) but everyone understood. Thankfully. :-) Anyways, he was here for 8 hours and we have a really deep hole right in front of our front door. Jesse and his Dad went into town this morning to pick up supplies for pouring the concrete slab and to build the walls of the new basement. It will be sooo nice to have the porch on the house. ::happy sigh::

The sooner they can get it done, the better. We have no drainage right now. That means no indoor plumbing. But all is not lost! We live right next to a gorge of sorts and my mother-in-law discovered that if you walk down past our shed, there is an outhouse that is functioning. There are bird droppings on the seat but it's actually not bad. :-) My biggest gripe about it is having to use it in the dark. Blah. But, as Jesse pointed out, I am a farm girl and we do not live in a country, like Australia (where he is from) in which there dwells deadly poisonous snakes, bugs and other delightful creatures who like to hide in the outdoor toilets... So buck up, Mrs. Twietmeyer! ;-)

I failed my driver's test on the 13th (marked me a lot for hesitancy) so am going for another one on the 27th. I am hoping that all the driving in the city will do me good. :-) Praying... praying.

Anyways. I think that is everything for now. I am trying to write thank you notes for all of the gifts we received so I should get on it. :-) Also, I should decide what I am going to make for lunch.

P.S. Hannah posted a picture of her and Daniel. :-) Click here to view it.

Love

I am in love with my husband. :-) God is so good to us.

Wedding Day

For, lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone;

The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of the birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land; 

The fig putteth forth her green figs, and the vines with the tender grape give a good smell. Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away. 

"I wasn't afraid," said Pooh, said he,

"I'm never afraid with you." 

So wherever I am, there's always Pooh,

There's always Pooh and Me. 

"What would I do?" I said to Pooh,

"If it wasn't for you," and Pooh said: "True,

Isn't is much fun for One, but Two,

Can stick together, says Pooh, says he. "That's how it is," says Pooh.

(A.A. Milne)

Be Strong and Of Good Courage

I don't have much time for an update but I was reading this link off of Luke Baer's (hacked [by younger, mischievous siblings: hint! hint!]) FB page and realized how very blessed I am. I needed Jesse and he needed me. We both knew this (though I fought it quite forcefully for what seemed like a very long time). And even though he was scared to death he did what his heart told him was right: he chased me, caught me, told me he loved me, then let me decide.

Each of us is called to a different purpose. When I posted something similar to this on FB, a friend (happily married and expecting their first child) said she pursued her hubby and by the grace of God, landed 'im! I don't believe their is any right or wrong way. But we must be prayerful.

Only by the grace of God am I to be happily and very legally married to my man in 20 days and some odd hours. Only because I prayed and he prayed and God answered.

I wish everyone the happiness and peace we have with each other.

Jesse, I love you. And I can't wait to change my name to Naomi Twietmeyer. :-)

God, Life's Cycles, Faith and Marshmallows

So, why am I craving marshmallows? I don't like marshmallows. They're fluffy. :-P But I'm craving them like all get out this evening. :-P That and chocolate. Honestly! It's interesting how cravings run in circles. Some days I want something very herbal and strong (preferably oregano). Other days, all I can think about is eating something sweet. I'm sure there must be a scientific explanation to this. ;-)

But life goes in cycles.. all of life. Some days, I am on top of the world. Other days, I struggle with negativity, fears, anger, judgment... But each day, regardless of how I feel about myself, I know one thing never changes: someone loves me. God's love has become very tangible in that Jesse's love for me is so enveloping... and yet, I know that God's love is far more perfect. The thought overwhelms me! I cannot comprehend the love that surrounds me. I don't understand. I don't deserve it. But, oh, I am so very, very thankful.

Perhaps there is someone out there who feels very low right now. I do not know the the darkness you experience. I only know that no matter how deep the pain or how fearsome the flashbacks or how negative I feel about myself, God... that presence beyond my comprehension... never leaves me. But it is only when I remember His love and look to Him that life starts making sense again. That's when I realize that living with fear and negative thoughts are not the way God wants me to live. Living in in joy and love is what He wants for us.

Here is something I've found myself saying lately: "I can't stand those people! They're so full of judgement and anger and themselves! They just can't accept people for who they are. I wish they would get their act together." Some irony there.... and a lot of hypocrisy. Feeling the weight of my faults and weaknesses was what made the guilt kick in lately. It is interesting how good things (regret) can be used both negatively and positively. I don't want to be a hypocrite. I despise hypocrisy! I hate it when people judge others, forgetting about the beam in their own eye. So, when it comes time for my eyes to be opened, I can despise myself and feel depressed (concentrating on myself) or I can just not be a hypocrite and get over my poor decisions (concentrating on others).

[Ruth 2007]

Some lessons must be learned again... again... and yet, again. :-) Again, I am so grateful for those who love me for who I am, the good and the bad.

Today, I worked at PharmaSave until the usual time, then came home to teach. I had one lesson today, but I taught for an hour... trying to make up for some lessons I have missed. I am hoping to be able to pick up some more lessons with other students, as well. Anyways, today's lesson went well! We were able to concentrate on five songs. Half hour lessons go by so fast! The songs that Savanna is learning are mostly songs that I really like. :-) Th at fact makes for some very enjoyable teaching and awesome inspiration.

Around 10 this morning, I received a phone call at work that they were calling back one of my students to play in the final concert at the Redvers Festival. Talk about excited. :-D One of her certificates is also getting upgraded. Then, I got a message tonight regarding my other student involved with the Festival: she's getting called back for another award as well. I am just thrilled. Positively pleased. :-D

As far as wedding plans are going... I believe the invitations are next but the guest list is also high priority. Ha. Obviously. Anyways.

I'm listening to The Marcels. I love them. They're my new favorite group. :-)

Anyways, my eyes are trying to shut now, so I suppose I should go to bed. Tomorrow is the first day of theatre. I am looking forward to it. I am also looking forward to seeing Jesse. Good night, peoples.