All my life, my heart has yearned for a thing I cannot name. -- Andre Breton
One month ago today, Jesse and I stood up in front of witnesses and very legally became Mr. and Mrs. Jesse and Naomi Twietmeyer. It was a wonderful day filled with wonderful, beautiful people... the joy of it will always be etched into my memory.
There are so many things I remember clearly throughout those days. One of the most amazing is seeing everything I envisioned come to reality. Throughout the months, I had developed some very firm ideas of what I wanted in a wedding. Since I am a photographer, I wanted everything to be picture friendly. Some things look very good to the eye and horrible in pictures. I wanted to avoid that. I really wanted to avoid that. Yay for Sam (sister-in-law) and Lindsey (best friend). And Paul (father-in-law). And Jesse (husband). And Dianne (mother-in-law). And Kate (Di's sister). And my family (my grandparents came a couple days early and my immediate family, the day before the wedding). Ok. Yay for everyone! :-)
While there are many memorable moments from those days, there are some that will never leave me. Small glimpses in time, snatched away to tuck close to my heart. I remember someone once telling that the days before my wedding and my wedding day would all be a blur... that I would too excited to notice or care very much. I thank them for warning me. I promised myself that if I could help it, the blur and excitement would not swallow me: my consciousness would be completely intact and God helping me, I would enjoy every minute of that day.
One of the Most vivid memories I have was right before the ceremony was to start. We had come back late from pictures and the wedding was supposed to be starting right away. I felt windblown and frazzled but everyone was assuring me that I looked amazing. Lol. Lindsey and I ran down the stairs the back way from the dressing rooms and into the kitchen downstairs. From there, it was quick washroom break and rushing to other set of stairs. Right as we were about to enter the Green Room entrance, the outer doors opened and some dear friends walked in. She was carrying her brandnew baby girl. The sight of my friend's smile and her mother beauty calmed me. Some moments are pure orchestration. That was no coincidence.
There was Another right before the processional. My new family was about as frazzled as I was but they still took the time to argue about what exactly was going to happen. This was going to happen... no! this was! It was quite funny. Furthermore, this is how they are: always have been, always will be. I kept laughing and trying not to smudge my make-up. I love them.
Never Forget walking down the aisle, holding Sara and Ruth's hands. Cilla walked down right before us, holding my bouquet. In the theatre, there are two aisles to walk down. We used the one to the right. I was afraid that the people seated to the left of the theatre wouldn't be able to see anything so I asked the marriage commissioner to announce that everyone was to remain seated. She forgot but it didn't matter. I think it was the sight of me with my little sisters that caught everyone off guard. :-) They didn't stand up until after I was almost down to the bottom of the aisle. The moment was the congregated, "Awww..." that rippled through the crowd when they realized what was happening. I definitely got the cute factor going with those sisters of mine. I love them!
There was another one, Earlier on both dressed for the big day, there was that moment: seeing Jesse and Jesse seeing me for the first time in our wedding clothes. Neither of us can figure out how we got so blessed. For me, the realization that there is actually a man in all creation who I can trust simply blows my mind. Add to that the fact that he loves me and I love him... well, I really didn't think it was even possible. I had given it up to God as a dream that would never be fulfilled. I would do whatever he wanted me to do with my life, even if that meant never being married.
We wrote our vows to each other. Jesse's was so beautiful. I have never heard anything so poignant and certain and full of love. (Afterwards, my dad said that when he heard Jesse's vow, he knew he could put away the shotgun. Haha.)
Few things are truly important.
I could throw away all my possessions and have lost nothing;
but your love is everything to me.
I stand before you now to promise you all that I am.
I make this promise with a full heart,
without fear or reservation,
for you are the only truly important thing to me;
I will stand beside you until the end,
because I love you.
The Peace I felt while saying my vows to Jesse. I had been so nervous that I would forget the words or falter. But when the time came, I was very, very calm. I meant those words with every ounce of my being and they came out like that. Thankfully. :-)
"Jesse, I love you. I love you because you are my best friend. I love you because you are a good man. I love you because you seek Truth. I love you because you make me laugh. I love you because you are so annoying. I love you because you are God's answer to all of my prayers. But mostly I love you because I love you. You are the most beautiful thing in my life and it is with great joy that I pledge myself to you. I will pray for you. I will hope and dream with you. I will be with you as long as our lives shall last."
And what about the cake... talking with friends... the first dance... Michele's toast to the bride and groom... Lee-Amber asking me to open the card she had given me so I could read what she had written before she left... Samantha and Matt MC-ing... square dancing... coming downstairs after the ceremony to grab a drink of water and meeting up with Ray and Tahnis (squeal!)... talking with the grandparents... being welcomed into the family by Paul... The realization that we had actually pulled off a beautiful, gorgeous wedding for about $3000 (people were so generous)... Jesse and I looking at each other around 11 pm, then sneaking off home without telling anyone (aside from Ellie).
What a good day. What a good rest-of-our-lives. It all began 11 months ago when Jesse told me he loved me.
I love my man.