Because I'm Going To Enjoy Today

I woke up this morning feeling so much better. :-) I have discovered how hard it can be to force yourself to eat but how necessary it is. ;-) Yesterday, I ate supper and drank ginger tea afterwards. It seemed to help settle everything. Hopefully I'll soon kick this and have my usual dosage of energy!!

"...if anything matters then everything matters. Because you are important, everything you do is important. Every time you forgive, the universe changes; every time you reach out and touch a heart or a life, the world changes; with every kindness and service, seen or unseen, my purposes are accomplished and nothing will be the same again."  -- William P. Young (The Shack)

Random thoughts of the day:
1: I love Jesse.
2: How much God has blessed me.
3: God gives us a free will but wishes for our fellowship.
4: True happiness is found within that fellowship.
5: Making meals is awesome.

Yesterday, for supper, I made burritos (black beans, garlic, Thai Chili sauce, black pepper, salt, sour cream, cheddar cheese) and salad. I rolled them up, place them on a cookie sheet and baked them for 45 minutes or so.  They wouldn't have to be baked that long, it just happened that people weren't ready to eat until that point in time. (I was also making the salad/setting the table/etc.) Today, I have roast in the crock pot and Yorkshire pudding on the menu. It's a lot of fun experimenting. I also love that I can run and ask Michele for advice. She's such a good cook and so creative in creating meals! This is definitely the best way to gather experience.

I have always worked in the kitchen and know how to cook a lot of meals but we always used ingredients in different quantities ... and from different sources (i.e. in bulk, from the garden, etc). I want to learn how to cook economically but tastefully. What a challenge! However, this is something worth learning well.

Go as far as you can see; when you get there, you'll be able to see further. -- J.P. Morgan

I have been learning a lot lately. It seems that no sooner is one lesson complete, another begins. I suppose that it is either moving ahead or falling behind. I would rather move ahead. I am learning about love. It is such a little word but the world balances on it. Love is many faces. What can I do today that will cause God's love to be shed abroad in hearts? What will brighten the faces of those I am with today? How will love appear in lives I touch?

I foresaw the Lord always before my face, for he is on my right hand, that I should not be moved: therefore did my heart rejoice, and my tongue was glad; moreover also my flesh shall always rest in hope. -- The Psalmist

This morning, I was feeling frustrated. I finally sat down and thought through what I was feeling... and realized my feelings were centered around myself. It was about me. Then, I began thinking about everything I had to be thankful for (not me!) and suddenly, I was the most blessed. Truly. I have so much to be glad about!

May each day find our hearts seeking and finding love... and enjoying very random blog posts from a much better Naomi who has decided she is going to enjoy today and the people in it.

Don't find fault. Find a remedy. -- Henry Ford

Learning

This girl has questions but she's learning that it's ok to not know everything. ;-)

The other day, two very learned, wise men took the time to have a conversation with me. They were not trying to teach me anything. They were simply enjoying talking about literature, life, people and the wisdom of their years. There is something timeless in discussing truth. I love asking questions and listening to the answers. There is something peaceful about sitting and listening to words. There is something beautiful in being able to think and pray and search... feeling no sense of criticism for not knowing the answer (and not knowing if I ever will).

I learned something. :-) It was about personality types. What we are, how we react to others... and that just because one may be introverted and another extroverted does not mean they do not need each other. If only I had understood sooner that human beings are... just that. They all hurt and bleed like I do. They all experience joy, though some considerably less than others. They all need love. Had I realized this at the age of 17, I would have saved myself a lot of grief.

But how does one learn? Experience, having an open heart to the truths, being willing to give up self for the other person... because me isn't that important. I am so thankful, though. I am glad to have had that conversation. I am glad to be walking this path. I am glad for the experiences and the uncertainties. I am glad for the joy and the sorrow. I am glad to discover things about myself and life... even if it is painful. The truth does set us free. Before we can be honest with others, we must be honest with ourselves and God. The most courage I need is for facing myself.

Well, it is time for me to sleep, so I will close this up and head off to dreamland. :-) Before I do, however, I wanted to say that I am still most thankful for love. I am thankful to be loved. By God, by man. Love is so powerful. It gives me wings and a stout heart. It is a good thing. :-)

Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.

Lovin' Those Baby Steps (Wait A Minute, Do Holters Actually Know How to Take Those?)

And he said unto them, Why are ye so fearful? how is it that ye have no faith? (Mark 4:40)

I have lately been posting status updates on FB like this: "I am so glad I don't know the future." Life brings so many questions to my door. Part of me would really love to just know what the future holds and act accordingly. The other part of me is more thankful that I don't. :-) Why is this? Well, jest set down for a spell and I'll tell ya. :-)

If I knew the future, I would likely try to change it.
If I knew the future, I would act abnormally.
If I knew the future, I wouldn't be able to love people.
If I knew the future, I would hate myself.
And most importantly...
If I knew the future, I wouldn't trust in God.

Over the course of the past months, so many new experiences and situations have leaped up and presented themselves to me. I don't react well with change, even if it's good and something I love. So, I turn to God.

It is there that I realize something about our relationship. What makes it healthy? What makes God happy? What makes me a stronger, more faithful person? Yes, He wants us to cry unto Him when we are frightened and uncertain. Yes, He appreciates that we don't turn our backs on Him. But what parent doesn't admire a child who gets back up after tumbling down for the 300th time? Children face the new world on wobbly legs and a courageous heart, taking their first steps eagerly. They have no idea about the rough spot in the lawn just ahead of them. They have no idea that Legos really hurt when you sit down hard. They have no idea that they might hit their head on the cupboard door and get a goose egg. Interpretation: they don't know the future. Yet, they wobble on until they wobble no longer and the Legos are their friends :-)

Yesterday, the thought crossed my brain that I've been using God as something to blame things on. Analogy: I've been clinging to Him in fear and not willing to take those first steps. I've been "having faith" but not honestly walking in faith. I've doubted my strength and God's grace and love towards me. I have been approaching decisions weakly and without heart.

If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not, and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering, For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. (James 1:5-6)


Me over the past week: "Um, God... like, I'm really happy but really, really scared and I really don't know if you know what you're doing, but um, if this is what you want...tell me why again??" Is there faith, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, love, etc, etc, in that? No. It is fear, a little anger, hopelessness. Where is my heart? I know God is standing right beside me. There is no room for fear!

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and love, and of a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7)

Oh yes, I am still approaching life with caution. My legs are still wobbly. :-) But with more joy and more faith... and different kinds of prayers. The "thank you, God" kinds of prayers. He has promised to accomplish a good work in me and I know He will. There will always be pain and uncertainties but they will never be too much for God's children. He has promised this.

So, not knowing the future, I walk away from my fears. My legs are still weak but my heart is learning courage and strength. There is more happiness and joy than I thought possible.

For the Lord shall be thy confidence, and shall keep thy foot from being taken. 

                                                 (Proverbs 3: 26)

Learning

My Sunday sermon. :-) So many things to think about... reconcile to... hope for... have faith  in... 

My relationship with God echoes this passage of scripture. Every day, I sense his love towards me. He doesn't need me but he still desires and treasures my heart and soul. Each tear I shed, these moments of laughter, every minute spent in his company and all those that aren't... I am so precious to him. Love is something to be treasured. It is something no one is worthy of. 

"Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.

For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.

But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.

When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

For now we see through a glass, darkly, but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.

And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity."
                                                                                         (1 Cor. 13)