Christmas Joy and Sorrow

My life has not been without great sorrow. But my life has also not lacked great joy. My friend Father Banga  said "Goodbye" to us on December 14th. It was sudden... and quick, thankfully. When I think of him, my tears are for myself and all of us who will miss him. But his time was up, his work finished. I am so grateful for the time I had with him. There are so many good memories; I often find myself crying and laughing at the same time. Fr. Banga left this world a better place.

Inspiration comes to me in many forms. Death is swallowed with difficulty but leaves me gasping with determination. Pain wants me huddled in a corner but instead often finds me bloodying my fingers with some task I would not have had the courage to do before. Joy sets my feet to dancing and laughing and creating joy for others. Peace cleanses me and puts me on the right path.

Christmas should be a season of joy. My sister has been a wonderful source of inspiration since she moved in with  us in June but especially in the past two months. As soon as Remembrance Day had passed, she got out all of the Christmas decorations and the house was festive in an hour. She has written numerous cards and letters and has sent care packages to people. She has spent money on gifts and time on creating joy for others. I look at her in awe. I am so blessed to have her as a sister.

Each day finds me loving my husband more. He is the most patient of men. He doesn't understand my hormones or emotions but he loves me. He cares for me, "in sickness and in health." He helps me to understand God. The other day, I had a half hour in between lessons and I went into our room. Jesse was there on his computer. As soon as I opened the door, he frantically cleared his computer screen. "Uhhmmm... just some last minute shopping." Christmas is going to be so much fun. He has no idea what I am giving him for Christmas and I have no idea what he is giving me for Christmas.

My mother-in-law is one of a kind: smart, gentle, very grounded. She is generous, yet stays within her boundaries. She is kind, but honest. She is very intelligent, very talented and generally amazing. Before I got married, I was very afraid I was going to marry someone who had a family I wouldn't get along with. So I prayed for a man who's family was one I could fit into. A family that would accept me and who I could accept. And I prayed especially for a mil who would love me. :-)

My friends, my coworkers, my fil, my sil, my cousins-in-law, Cornerstone Theatre peoples... so many wonderful human beings that fill my life with joy. I wish to be an inspiration to them... to the entire world. Someone who changes the world for better.

Merry Christmas. 

in regards to the End of the world

first of all nothing will happen
and a little later
nothing will happen again.
-- Leonard Cohen

and if it does,

even damnation is poisoned with rainbows.
-- Leonard Cohen

Thankfully

Old companions, Pain and I -- side by side, heads bent, hands tightly clasped; the whole world passing us by. These recent days, our meetings are rare but when we do, we sit in comfort. Secrets that have been hidden away are brought out. Examine; whisper; polish: are we ready to let  the wind whisk this hurt away? Or shall we keep it a little longer?

We are not exclusive, Pain and I; we often beg Mercy and Forgiveness to join our party. They are shy as the Silence. Sometimes it comes; sometimes not. The wait can be long. But when Forgiveness falls like a cleansing rain and Mercy alights on my shoulder, Time stands still.

As we reminisce, the old days seem as though they were but yesterday. Snapshots of moments are branded forever in our time. Pain  would sit on my chest as we listened to the night hours burn away until it was time to get up again. Pain clung to my neck as we survived the day, hurrying, worrying. Pain covered my ears at night when the nightmare came to visit them in the dark. And when they cried, we tried not to listen. Pain held my hand when the Guilts came and they could not have me.

Pain was the best, the most loyal of friends. We dreamed of better days, a different time when the world would fill with Love. But I was not anxious to leave my friend. We had seen the simplicity of All. We had listened to the heartbeat of the Universe. We had glimpsed The Intelligence. Truth had broken our shackles. Fear told me that I would not be the person I am without Pain, in conclusion: Pain was my Savior. I was very confused.

But Time marched on and dictated that our ways should soon part. Love and Joy began to walk with me. They brushed off Doubt and Fear, laughing... Perhaps, at me. They taught me a new dance, showed me the same Truth in a different light. I learned that I could stand without Pain to lean on.

It is true: there are days when I cannot dance. Love and Pain walk on either side then, guiding my feet. But I am growing. I learned that Fear's conclusions are never Truth: my Savior is within me. Pain is a good friend for a time, because we learn much together. But Truth and Time declare good health comes with Change.

I live this life thankfully.

Naomi T. all rights reserved

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
Robert Orben 

glimpses: i love theatre

When we get to the hall, there are already people there. The dim voices and strains of music travel down the stairs and through the entry to our waiting ears. I run up the stairs because I know I only have thirty minutes until show time. Tonight is the last dress rehearsal and it involves full costume: clothing, face, hair, shoes and a right mind. My costume always seems to take longer to install on my person than I assume it will.

There are friends gathered at the front, chattering. Some are practicing certain measures of the music over and over. Some are already in costume. Some are laughing. Some are quiet. Each exudes comfort; we are in the presence of friends, working towards a common goal. It feels homelike. Parents sit in random seats throughout the auditorium, waiting to help their children into costume or put on makeup or comfort them if their shoes seem to have disappeared.

My beaded robe slides over my head easily and my hair goes up with a twist. I ask my mother-in-law where the shoes are. She has such a great closet and we all tend to borrow from her. She points them out and voilà!  I am no longer tracking dirty snow everywhere. And my feet sparkle, which admittedly, is far more important.

Two of the girls come up the stairs carrying dishes. "We brought food!" Everyone's ears perk up. A few minutes later, the green room is filled with people laughing and talking with their mouth's full. So many of us come straight from work with no time for eating. Roast beef and buns have never been so relished. One of our musicians is also a teacher of the fiddle and she is endeavoring to teach over the noise of the people. I overhear her say, "Funny how four people make so much noise." She looks annoyed and she is... but she isn't really. One of us will make it up to her later, somehow.

My roast beef is washed down with some water and I am back in the dressing room. I help put makeup on one of the girls and am about to begin another when it is announced that the makeup lady is back. She wants to do me first since my transformation will be intense through the show. She begins by making me smear lotion all over my face. She runs an eyeliner pencil under my eyes. It hurts but I know the end result will be worth it. She's that good.

"2 minutes!" the director announces. My makeup isn't done but the artist assures me that it will be. And she's right. By the time she's done with my face and I have managed to put on my microphone, it's only just time to walk on stage. The over-voice starts to drone... show on. My nerves begin and my adrenaline is sky high.

Last dress rehearsal. Show time is for real tomorrow. 

Saturdays

One of the days in the week that should be reserved for resting. Guess what we did today? Jesse installed our new toilet, which my father-in-law gave to us as an early Christmas present. Btw, we are very happy about that gift. Isn't it amusing what makes you thrilled when you own a house? ;-)

Jesse wasn't entirely sure about installing said toilet because he had never done it before. But I asked... and asked... and he decided that he could probably figure it out. The hardest part was getting the old toilet out. But he did it. I am so proud of him. And happy to have the toilet installed!!

While he was doing that, I spent the entire day baking. Our bosses at work have been planning a Christmas party for a month or so and I was elected to bring some goodies. Ever since I learned of this, I have been plotting and planning. Magazines were pored over; ideas pondered; old recipes from my childhood were tracked down; new recipes snagged. Finally, I had a list. Then, Lydia and I went grocery shopping. Did you know that allspice comes whole (not crushed) in Carlyle? (Thank goodness for my mortar and pestle!)

Thursday, I made pumpkin bread/muffins and banana chocolate chip bread/muffins. Friday night, I made lemon squares and raspberry lemon streusel muffins. Today, I made cranberry almond bark, cranberry walnut rugalach, chocolate vanilla marbled cookies and vanilla cut-out cookies. I made up two separate platters for the party tonight. They're big, beautiful and bursting at the seams.

I have lots of leftovers. I think we will be freezing them for when my siblings come for Christmas. Or for after the play ends on Sunday. Something along those lines. 

A Good Life

Again, my time is limited. My email, blog and facebook all suffer. But, I am living. Sort of.

Pharmasave, teaching, theatre. Cat, husband, sister. Prepare for Christmas. Still take time to talk and snuggle with husband. Take annoying cat off of head.

Christmas! It’s only over a month away.  After Remembrance Day had passed, Lydia started to decorate the house. This is her first Christmas in over 16 years, so she is very excited. Mr. Fox is very excited too. Anything that dangles or rattles or even remotely hints “Catch me if you can” is in imminent danger of being attacked with great vigor. As Lydia and I put up garland around the house, he was always one step behind us, clawing, biting (not us, thankfully) and being annoying. Lol.

But the house looks very festive in spite of him! Or perhaps, because of him. He loves to climb the Christmas tree. He also thinks that ornaments were made for the sole purpose of honing his “how can I rip this out of the tree” abilities. Yes. We love him.

Last year, I decorated the house by myself. This year, it has been nice having Lydia’s extra hands and inspirations. Having a sister around is like having an extra brain. We've been taking turns wrapping gifts. The pile is growing ever so gradually. By the time December rolls around, we'll only have baking left to do. :-)

Jesse and I have been married 14 months. It is still marvelous, in case you were wondering. We have our small disasters. The other night, we were having salmon. Jesse loves making rice to go with it, so he put on the pot. When I came downstairs from teaching, I smelled something burning. Lydia passed it off as the salmon, so I opened the oven. Nope, no burnt meat. You aren’t supposed to lift the lid on the rice until it is finished cooking, so I didn’t touch it. Then, the smoke alarm went off. Apparently, Jesse had forgotten to turn the rice down. It was so burned. But it was hilarious, especially because of the smoke alarm.

The bad part of this story is about how we couldn’t figure out how to get the rice scrubbed out of the pan. We ended up not using it for about a week before Lydia brought home some cleaner from work. Amazing stuff, btw.

If you ever come over for dinner, you’re going to have to get Jesse to make you salmon and rice. It is truly a divine platter. Also, I believe I am going to get him a rice cooker for Christmas.

 Snow, snow, snow. Yes, we have snow. We got more snow overnight than we received all winter last year. I have to admit that, in spite of the presented challenges, I love how the moisture. The more, the better. After looking at the drought across the south, down to Mexico, one cannot help but be thankful for the white stuff. Here’s to the lakes rising another foot and all the greens of the grass and trees.

There are times I wish I had more hours for writing. But that will come eventually. Life; ‘tis good. The best part is that I am capable. Great joy can be found in this. :-)

Schedules are great things.

Trip to the City... Whee!!

Jesse, myself and my sister Lydia are planning a trip to Regina on Sunday night, the 11th. I was wondering if there was anyone in the city who had the space and was willing to put up three people (or two... or one) for a night. If you've already been generous to us previously, please don't feel obligated to put us up. Thanks in advance. :-)

Courage my friends, it is not too late to make a better world. 

Tommy Douglas

November 5th

We are all a little weird and

Life's a little weird,

And when we find someone whose

Weirdness is compatible with ours,

We join up with them and fall in

Mutual weirdness and call it Love.

-- Dr. Seuss

Two years ago today, Jesse told me he loved me. He also asked if we could date. I said yes. 

I thank God for bringing us together... for giving us courage to step into the unknown.

Wednesdays & Carrot Pie

Wednesdays are full. Actually, that's an understatement. So are the words 'busy', 'hectic', 'crazy' and 'crammed'.

Wednesdays consist of getting Lydia and myself out the door by 8:30 and to work by 8:45-ish. Therein, we work until 2 pm, go home and teach from 3:30 until 6:30, rush out the door for theatre practice at 7 pm and hope to be home by 10 pm.

Somewhere in that whirlwind of life-on-Wednesdays, we have to find time to eat, drink and use the facilities. It can be hard to remember to breathe, let alone sit down with a plate. I've found that using Ideal Protein meals can make it a little easier (shake, heat and drink), plus they fall into my diet plan. ;-) But even so, I still miss "real" food.

Because I teach until right before we have to go to theatre practice, there is little time for eating before we go... and absolutely no time for making anything. So my mother-in-law has been helping us out. Last week, she brought this amazing greek turkey pizza to the theatre. It was delicious and this is coming from someone who is really picky about what's on her pizza. This week, she sent Jesse a bbm informing him of the existence of pie and pizza at their house. Would he come pick it up? I believe his exact response to this was, "Hurray!"

Sidenote: Dianne makes carrot pie. Pure deliciousness. I never realized how good carrots can be until I tasted her carrot pie.

So, thank you. Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to help with our busy schedule. I love the family I married. 

life is long enough

We have been touched by death.

It is inevitable; it comes to us all, we can't avoid it.

But we have been given life. We should live it.

Tonight I ate clam chowder, cheese bread and apple cheesecake chimichangas. That's a lot of carbs, so tomorrow, I diet. The day after, I diet. The day after that, I diet. ....

But today, I celebrate my husband's 28th birthday and I shared his birthday meal.

Life is too short to do otherwise.

May the hatred turn to love
   the bitter dissolve into forgiveness
     dreams become reality
        and joy forever carry on

Happy Birthday, my love.

On Adulthood, Responsibilities and Kittens

You may be wondering at the lack of posts. So have I. Each time I open my blog to write, there is nothing in my head to write about. That does not mean that nothing is happening. Everything is happening. Lol. Life kicked into gear and is taking us on what feels like a roller coaster ride. It feels good to work, even if I don't want to get up in the morning. Knowing that I've helped put food on the table or, that extra is being put away for renovations or trips, feels really good. And to have a husband who has the strength and character to maintain a steady job is a real God-send.

Life has been a bit bumpy for us the last couple of months. One thing after another. Bills, bills upon more bills. Not much income coming in for a month or so. God provided for us, though. And, we are happy. We have grown closer together; love being a sweet, sweet thing. I am so thankful.

Among the hiccups have been some amusing moments. For instance: we live on the Whitebear Resort, which is lovely. We have to get our water hauled in. Most of us resort people have big water tanks which are filled by a water hauler once a month, or as often as needed. As you well know, my sister Lydia came to live with us in June. Since then, our water consumption has been more. Which means that our tank empties at a faster rate. However, we never seem to calculate this. The past three months, we've ran out of water. Each time, there has been some reason we can't get water for approximately three days. That's an interesting state of affairs. That means having to use the outhouse or the great outdoors/thick underbrush repeatedly for 72  hours. (Please tell me there aren't any rabid skunks in the neighborhood!) Also, this means we have to run over to Jesse's parents house for water to drink. Thankfully, the previous owners of the house left a nice 7 gallon water container for such emergencies. (Jesse  likes to haul this around full so I can see his muscles pop out.) (I love his muscles.) You may be asking why this situation proves so amusing to me. 5 words: Three months in a row.

We took part in the play put on by Cornerstone Theatre. On Friday, my father-in-law and a friend were trying to bring an elderly patron upstairs via the elevator. It promptly broke, of course, and since there were several other waiting riders, they had to fix it. After they had been gone for awhile, my husband went to see if how the repairs were progressing ... and found them locked in the elevator. Through the glass, they tried to give Jesse instructions. Doug said, "You need to find the emergency key for the elevator..."  At that moment, my father-in-law held up something and remarked, "I think it's in here with us." Doug actually banged his head against the wall. Then he remembered there was a second one... Jesse had them out before five minutes had passed. Lol. They were the tech crew for the play, too. Invaluable to the production. Kinda scary when you think about it. Haha!

Then there's teaching; 17 students. Christmas planning. Jesse's birthday planning. Trying to not get the cold that Lydia is getting over and Jesse is coming down with.

On top of it all is Mr. Fox. 

\
Jesse's cousin discovered a very miserable kitten hanging around their porch last week. She thought it was a she. And she thought she should bring this wee, adorable feline over to my inlaws' place. My mil and sil in turn thought of Lydia, who had mentioned wanting a cat. Long story short, "she" turned into a "he" and his name is "Mr. Fox". He is cute, small, about 6 weeks old, has no horrible diseases and Snow is even starting to like him. ;-)

So, life in all it's wonderful busy-ness... Love it. Hate it. Revel in it. I'm living every day with my love and life is goodness. :-) 

Fall in White Bear

My sister Cilla.

Cilla is so lovely.

Isn't Lydia beautiful?

May Your Day Be Full of Pie

When you judge another,

 you do not define them,

 you define yourself as someone who needs to judge. 

--Wayne Dyer

Today I am thankful for people and the world. 

(And awesome quotes shared by the generous people in my wonderful life!!)

Happy Thanksgiving.

P.S. Banana Cream Pie and me do not agree.