Death and Life; Prayers for the Wallace Family

Greg Wallace. This man has been fighting his battle with cancer courageously and living each day with a testimony that inspires me. I have been reading of his battle... his thoughts... his struggles and questions for a couple of months now. His sister wrote today that it appears he only has days left to live. Oh, I am sad. I am sad that such pain and suffering has befallen this young man. I am sad that his family has to stand around him and watch... their hearts twisting... wishing they could take this from him and bear it. I will not sit and talk about the silver lining on this cloud. That would be ludicrous. This cloud is dense. There are storms under this great canopy of horror. The wind is blowing. The rain is pounding. The lightening flashing. We all have questions and doubts. We don't understand.

But listen. Listen. "Peace be still." Never was more spoken in three words. That is all. May you hear it, dear Wallace family.

Another moment lived. One moment closer to the presence of my Creator. Death used to terrify me. In fact it terrified me so much that I contemplated taking my life so I wouldn't have to deal with it any longer. I am sitting here smiling a little wryly over that bit of logic. Interesting what fear will do to a person's mind. 

Fear made me feel worthless. Guilty. Unloved. Pain-filled. Sinful. Overcome with sorrow. Black. 

Then, I found love. I was 13 years old. I suddenly realized that all of my fears, all of that guilt and pain, every single one of them, had a basis of truth. But Truth had been twisted into a lie. It is true that I am selfish, unlovable, greedy, fearful, angry, bitter and generally a bad person. It is truth that I deserve to be unloved. But it is also Truth that I am loved. Loved so much that I am forgiven. Love is beyond who I am, what I have or have not done. Beyond any telling. Beyond my comprehension. Beyond my ability to believe. But... oh, I am loved. 

With love, death is not a leap into darkness, but a door to another existence. Oh yes! I do not know what is out there. I have so many questions. So many uncertainties and worries that flood my heart if I let them. I have pain. Sometimes my sorrow is so much that it takes my joy. But there is something that I am certain of: The continued presence and love of my God. But that exists now. This moment. Do I allow my weakness to shroud it or do I embrace what is offered to me freely? That is the real question.

Of Home... Warm Beds .. Lovely Comments... and SPAM!

I am home! I survived the hill and the cold (it was so cold!) and all of the good times and am now back in Carlyle. :-)

I am looking forward to my bed. Which I will be making warm here shortly.

And my thanks to all of you who brightened my brief internet times. It was so fun finding all of those lovely comments.

Spam is annoying. They must have known I was without time to garbage can it. Sorry about that people! I think I've it all taken care of now. 

Of Skiing, Hot Tubs and Other Things That Aren't Really Interesting (I'm feeling sarcastic) (And Happy)

I am sitting here on the couch in Meadowbrook (Kimberley), BC with some very sore muscles that are loudly proclaiming my new ability to ski. Down hills that make my knees tremble just looking. (My eyes are looking. Not my knees. Just sayin'. ;-)) I'm enjoying myself very much and am looking forward to learning better techniques.  And I've also learned about enjoying hot tubs, modest swimwear, understanding (future) inlaws and a very nice boyfriend. ;-)

Hope ya'll are enjoying yourselves too. I have the smell of frying fish and shrimp in my nostrils. Can it get any better?

And Tomorrow...

...if all goes as planned, Jesse and his family will be taking a trip to BC to go skiing. I'm going with them. :-) Got to love the new experiences. :-) :-) And I'm certainly going to enjoy spending time with Jesse. :-) :-) :-)

Hope the coming week is wonderful for you all. :hugs: 

Faith Building

My dear Readers,

Lesson #1: Do not pray for faith building experiences unless you want your life to be turned upside down, inside out and made into a football game for the angels. :-)

 I have seriously not had any inspiration for weaving words together for an entire week. I wrote letters. You should see them. No. You shouldn't. They're dreadful. Lol! I simply have not been in the right frame of mind. The last post I wrote I mentioned that I had prayed for faith and my world had been shaken. Every small thing I had secretly feared; every ill belief I had about myself, my life and the people in it... was thrown into my face. And it didn't end there: I was forced to take them into my shaking, disbelieving hands and decipher the truth about myself, my loved ones and God.

When I wrote that last post, God was not finished with the situation yet. I thought things had settled down. Not. Doors were slammed shut and others were flung wide open. I had to take some steps that frightened me but when I had stepped in faith, the wilted drought of the past was turned into beautiful alive spring. My world is green again.

The best things that happened? I discovered that Jesse is even more amazing than I had thought. (He never fails to make me laugh... as in the above picture. :-)) I cannot tell you how grateful I am for him and his presence in my life. Another great thing: I have healed so much in the past few months. I am more sure of why I exist. I am more sure of God's love for me. I am able to better serve... and receive.

Not first in the sequence of events but a very big part of them was the death of a friend of mine. He was 24 years old. He was cleaning his gun and accidentally shot himself in the chest. It hit the online community very hard. I can't imagine what his family must be going through. Please pray for them.

http://www.news-journal.com/news/local/article_7995c1cb-811c-5173-bbfd-f70eac24080b.html

Ben's death made me realize how much I take for granted. My family. My friends. Jesse. The fact that I can, speak, play music, read, write, watch movies... learn. Breathe. Live. I worry about the stupidest things. Honestly! And this... well, it made me sit back and think about everything. What is important?

Next step in plan: I quit my DQ job. As much as I loved making the cakes and working creatively, the situation suddenly (and I mean, very suddenly) was not a healthy one. Michele advised me to move on and I did. I was scared. As usual. (Change!) But, once again, God's leading also became very clear and I knew in the very depths of my heart that it was time. And yes, you'd better believe that I will miss doing cakes. I really loved doing that. :-)

However, guess what? Another business in town hired me. I was called yesterday and my new job begins in a week and a half or so. I am truly excited. :-) It's at a Pharmasave and it's right on Main Street. I have become friends with the owner over the past few months as her daughter is in piano lessons. It's so nice to be able to enter a workforce on the strength of my own merit instead of accepting a favor from someone. (That being said, accepting favors have their own special place too.)

And THIS is what Jesse and I made for Valentine's Day. Michele made steak, potatoes and salad. Over all, it was a delightful meal. :-)

Mom's cheesecake recipe... drizzled chocolate chips, fresh raspberries and Lindt Dark Chocolate hearts... Does it get any better?!

Here is something I found thought provoking this morning... http://charitys-place.blogspot.com/2011/02/faith-in-secular-media.html#more Charity Bishop is an excellent writer. I really enjoy her blog. If you would like a good read... :-)

And it's time for me to get on with my day. Oh yes! One more thing. Wedding plans are slowly taking shape. The official date is September 10th. I am working on guest lists and details and colors and who I want to be involved and who is going to be involved... wow. I love this. ;-) 

Ya'll have an awesome day, wherever you are! Is anything new happening in your lives? What have you been watching lately? Reading? Writing? Planning? 

Voltaire

Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers. -- Voltaire

A few of my favorite things...

I really like the colors and variations of texture of this bouquet. I would change a few things, however.

I would use delphiniums. I love the partially tamed wildflower look.

My favorites are these deep blue ones. Aren't they lovely?

But I also want to add English roses or a rose that looks similar to an English rose. These ones are the perfect shade... just a tad pink but very ivory. 

(I'm sharing this just because the kid is so cute. ;-))

All shapes, sizes and colors... English roses are absolutely amazing in every way. I really wish they could grow in Saskatchewan!

Lace

I love lace. I think it is one of the most beautiful things in the world. 

Antique lace... French?

This might not qualify as lace but it's still beautiful. I love the design and I love the color contrast.

This style really appeals to me. I would love to be able to copy that jacket somehow. 

Imagine possessing the knowledge and skill to be able to create... look at the young and old sitting together!

I thought this lace veil was more interesting than pretty... I wonder why this culture ties their veils on instead of hanging them over the head. 

Queen Victoria's veil was created of Irish lace. It was later made into a christening gown...

I Didn't Say This Unique

Today I spent some time seriously researching for ideas regarding wedding planning.  So many things to sort through and choose from... wow! September is going to be here before we know it. And since I have a million and one things to do besides wedding planning, I figure I should get on with it. This evening, my friend Lindsey called and we Googled and Googled... and Google-d some more. 

She's a really good friend. I'm glad I have a friend like her. :-) 

The first thing we discovered is that there are quite a few options out there. The second thing we realized is that when you type in unique (because, once again, conventional just doesn't cut the bill for me...) you can get some interesting stuff. Google takes you seriously when you ask for something. For instance: 

The wool wedding gown. I think this was from Australia.

 The one with the very long train on top of the sunflowers. 200.8 meters, I believe they said.

The one made from peacock feathers (?). I think this girl has stolen all of the attention at the bridal show. Hail the illustrious... the fantastical... the amazing... wait. IS that a beak? :-P

Did you think 200.8 meters was good? Just add color, some height, a couple of pink trees that clash with that lovely red, 798.2 meters and... 200.8 meters just got blown out of the pretty sunflowers. Imagine dealing with a 999 meter train. The impressive thing about this dress is that it is "purely handmade" and took "three months to be completed". http://niceweddinggown.com/999-metre-long-hand-made-wedding-dress-in-china/

I know. You don't have to say anything. You always wanted a dress made out of balloons, too. Imagine how comfortable! Every move you made... squeak. Squeak. SQeAk! I'm already shivering and I am just imagining it. I need to sit down. (Pop!)

And lastly, just because it looks so scrumptious (literally) is every girl's dream dress made of nothing else but 1,500 cream puffs by the Ukrainian baker Valentyn Shtefano for his beloved fiancée.

If that doesn't take the cake... er, cream puff... I don't know what would.. 

Unashamedly Stolen...

"The trouble with quotes on the Internet is that you can never know if they are genuine." -Abraham 
Lincoln

Odds and Ends

Isn't it interesting... I pray that God will cause my faith to grow. He always answers that prayer with a "yes" and I am always taken by surprise. :-)

Forgive the lack of detail but here is the basic structure of the past four days: I pray for faith. God answers prayer. Circumstances arise in which I am given cause to question every good thing in my life. My world, which I was growing rather comfortable in, rocked. I rock with it. Then I step back and look at myself, my world, God and the people in it. My conclusion? God loves me and has blessed me beyond anything that I could ask or think.

There are things I don't understand. I start wondering about them. But ultimately, I have seen that my Savior has guided me on my journey. I know He will be with me today as He has been with me each step that I have taken.

Moral of the tale? God takes you seriously when you pray.

Interesting things in my life lately:
1: I love Jesse more each day.
2: I worked two days this week at Dairy Queen. Awesomeness. I love my job. :-)
3: I must have slipped on the way home from work yesterday. My leg is swollen. Blah.
4: I will probably be getting way more hours at Dairy Queen which is so wonderful because getting married costs money. ;-) Plus, I love the experience.
5: I really like Ferrero Rondnoir.
6: The temperatures outside are sooo warm!! The snow is almost a little slushy.
7: Yesterday marked 3 months as a couple for Jesse and me.
8: The more Shakespeare I am indoctrinated with, the more I love him.
9: A journey with God can lead to some very surprising twists and turns.
10: My brother Jesse is living at a logging camp in the bush. I love that he is such a grown man...
11: My sister Ellie is on the waiting list for surgery on her shoulder. Please pray that she'll get it sooner than later because she can begin healing sooner if she has the surgery sooner. (Now wasn't that a statement of genius! Lol!)
12: I need to find birthday gifts for several of my sisters. I have an idea. And I think I'm going to Regina on Friday. I love shopping for gifts.
13: Valentine's Day is coming up. Now, never before have I ever seen the purpose or enjoyment of sending sappy love greetings to your True Love. But now I am the sappiest of the lot, as my beloved could tell you. Hehe. Why is it so wonderful to be told that you're loved? And to tell someone that you love them? It just is.
14: I need to get all the bedding cleaned up from last week's company. I managed to get the bathroom done yesterday... as well as some vacuuming and sweeping. That feels good. But I need to get all of that bedding folded up and into the closet or wherever it goes. :-)
15: I need to eat some good food for breakfast.
16: We picked the play for the Easter theatre production and it looks like I'm going to be having a part. Scary but such a good experience. I never thought of myself as an actor. I guess we'll see if I was right or not!

So, that is my life. Making wedding plans. Slowly. Hoping my mom can find that wedding dress soon so I can start talking patterns with people. :-) I have some really good folks around me who are knowledgeable about such lovely things as wedding planning.

Here's something for ya'll to do: find your favorite dress/pattern... favorite flowers... cake, decorations... or just one of the above listed and comment about them. I can always use ideas. :-) And I love talking about wedding plans. So much fun. :-)

Have a great week, ya'll! :-D

Good Morning!

I have a wish for today:

That each moment, regardless of how happy or sad, joyful or annoying, be lived with appreciation for the life that has been given me. Think about it!


I can breathe.
I have health.
I have energy and strength to work a job.
My job is creative and wonderful.
I have great employers.
I am getting married to my best friend.
God's love is very evident in our lives.
I can talk with God.

I could go on. My point is, we can always find areas in our lives to complain about. And we can always find things to be thankful for. I want to be thankful today. :-)

May your weekend be glorious!! Any plans, peoples? 

The Details

One afternoon, I suddenly had this urge to look at rings via the internet.

Coincidence 1: That evening, I was on the phone with Jesse and he mentioned he had been looking at something on the internet.

I said, "That's funny. So have I."

As it turned out, our brains had been working on the same wave length. As usual. ;-)

And, as usual (again) we simply found nothing in the conventional department that fit what we were looking for. At all.

Coincidence 2: That very day, my friend E. had written a humorous post about wedding rings and had posted pictures of hers. I liked them. A lot. She said her hubby had gotten them off of Etsy.

(http://www.mildlyamusingmusings.com/2011/01/of-wedding-rings-and-er-visits.html)

So, Jesse and I went to Etsy.com and simply reveled the creativity we saw.

Coincidence 3: at the same moment in time, we both said, "Oh, you've got to look at Page 8, 3rd row from the bottom!" We saw the ring at the same time from different computers, while on the phone. :-) It was a nice ring. It wasn't terribly expensive. We both liked it. Really liked it.

Coincidence 4: The ring had just been posted that very day in the person's Etsy store.

Coincidence 5: I don't believe in coincidences. :-) (I believe in Providence. God. He has been working miracles through this entire relationship; from our first meeting to our friendship to our romance to the rest of our lives. :-))

Jesse decided to order it.

Then came the time of waiting. Jesse said that I knew about the ring but I didn't know how or when I was going to get it. I told Jesse how much I loved the element of surprise. He took me up on it.

Fast forward to January 31st, 2011. Jesse was picking me up to go spend the night at his parents' place because my bed was being occupied by musicians. I put my stuff on the table and went to quickly make use of the washroom. When I came back, I put on my scarf, my coat and my shoes. Then, I started to put on my gloves.

(I love my gloves. They were a Christmas present from one of my piano students (along with a box of chocolates! So thoughtful of her) ... they're black and really cozy. They also fit me perfectly, which is a blessing since gloves rarely fit well with my short, little fingers.)

Anyways. I'm trying to get my gloves on and my finger wouldn't go in one of the fingers. I was a little distracted because I was making Jesse wait and I don't like making Jesse wait, so I mumbled something about, "What in the world?" while pulling out this beautiful black velvet bag. I glanced at my patient boyfriend, puzzled, but he had the most innocent expression on his face. In other words, his face said that he had no more clue about the bag than I did. I think I might have set it down on the table and just continued getting dressed if I wasn't such a sucker for velvet. Lol! I love how it feels.. and this bag was so cute and pretty. I just had to feel it. It never even registered what this all might mean until I suddenly felt a ring through the velvet. Jesse said my mouth dropped open. I think I said, "Oh my goodness..."

Jesse took the bag out of my fingers and pulled out the ring that was so much more beautiful in real life than it was in the pictures... and said, "Naomi, will you marry me?"

I said, "Yes."

He put the ring on my finger and kissed my hand.

I love Jesse. I love my fiancée. I love my future husband.
(They're all the same person.) (Yay!)

(Forgive the slight insanity of this post. I get giddy when I'm reallllyyyy excited.) (I'm reallllyyyyy excited.)

I am so thankful. :-)

Engaged!

Yep. That's right. To Jesse. My dearly beloved man whom I am completely in love with. :-)

More details later.